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What will happen to children who grow up with verbosity?

My deskmate in junior high school has a good family and excellent studies, except that she doesn't like going home.

During the school holiday, the students hurried home. Only when she stayed behind, she dragged her classmates to chat until everyone left, and she dragged the box home.

It took me a long time to know that she refused to go home because there was a bomb at home, mom.

She said that she loves someone, and especially likes to shut herself in her room, listen to the radio, pack her clothes and be in a daze. She feels very comfortable.

But in her mother's eyes, a person is lonely.

As long as she is at home, her mother will try her best to befriend her and then start ideological education.

She likes to wear clothes with different styles from others, and she thinks this is personality. We all think that she has a unique eye for washing old jeans and wearing lazy shirts. In her mother's eyes, this is a bad student's dress. For the consequences of bad students, her mother can say, for example, that she spent three days and three nights.

Once, my classmate's mother went to the class teacher and asked her daughter why she came home late on holiday. After the classmate knew it, he had a big fight with his mother and almost ran away from home. However, the students did not go home early because of their mother's worry, but intensified their efforts to find various reasons not to go home.

Parents' love and care, once it becomes a shackle, will try to escape no matter how immature the child is.

The intimacy between children and parents has been worn away by verbosity, and re-education has actually lost its original meaning.

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Excessive verbosity will lose the respect of children.

In the family, parents are respected. But there is a kind of parents who have lost their children's love for themselves, and that is wordy parents.

I know a mother who said she didn't know how to get along with her children, and she always felt that she was thankless.

Her son, nine years old, is in primary school. When he came home from school, he was very picky about his mother's cooking: "Why did you eat this dish again?" Can't you cook something delicious? "

Sometimes when eating, mother wants to talk to her son about school. She couldn't ask a few words, and her son said impatiently, "You said don't be distracted when eating. Why do you always ask me questions?"

She hesitated about her son's performance.

After listening to my mother, I said, don't talk much.

After listening to my words, she nodded frequently: "Yes, but my son hates me. He thinks I always talk nonsense. "

I asked, for example, what nonsense?

She said: "Remind him to read more books and not always play mobile phones and games."

After listening to this, I couldn't help laughing. This is also the most annoying sentence when I was a child. "Read more, read more."

Parents repeatedly say one thing, which is particularly exhausting for their children's endurance. Children with good endurance can go in one ear and out the other, while children with poor endurance can only contradict their parents and speak insolently.

Broken thoughts are also wasting the authority of parents in their children's hearts. When authority is weakened, the respect between parents and children will naturally disappear.

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Children who grow up in wordiness tend to have a smaller pattern.

There is a friend whose mother loves to tell her about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. She and her mother-in-law are just trivial things.

She has heard the same thing hundreds of times, but her mother doesn't know it, and she tells it with relish every time.

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is nothing more than a trivial dispute. Since it is a contradiction, there is a game and a win or lose.

My friend was indoctrinated by her mother since he was a child. In fact, in her bones, her mother's game tricks have been deeply rooted.

Now that she is a family, she treats her mother-in-law like a mother.

Parents and children talk about life and experience, which will subtly affect their children's style of doing things. Maybe at this moment, she just put it down and didn't pay attention to what she wrote down, but the enhanced picture will be sealed by memory.

Children who grow up in wordiness tend to have a smaller pattern.

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What changes should parents make?

Talkative parents suffer a lot and can't get their children's approval.

Everyone has one mouth and two ears, which means that we should talk less and listen more. Imagine that parents are always saying that their children are listening. How can they be called communication?

What changes can parents make?

First, don't talk nonsense. For example, some parents ask their children to do their homework before eating. Although the words are spoken, I am afraid that my children will be hungry, but I will always urge my children to do their homework or let them eat first. This actually reflects the fragility of parents' feelings, and their words don't count. To overcome verbosity, you must first pass some rational filtering before speaking, and you can't talk nonsense.

Second, don't force orders. Let a child do something, you can tell him gently in kind language, which is more emotional trust. A quiet word is much better than your loud reprimand.

Third, don't say everything. It can be said that although parents say a lot to their children, many of them don't get to the point. If everything is detailed, adults will be angry because children are disobedient, and children will be even more disgusted in a complex language environment.

In the final analysis, the key to parents' wordiness is that they don't really know their children. Only by truly understanding children and their thoughts can we replace endless verbosity with effective communication.