The best way of family education
First, in family education, the most commonly used way is to talk. The quality of conversation is closely related to the art of conversation.
Conversation is a conversation between parents and children in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere. The timing of the conversation should be appropriate, and the topic of conversation should be beneficial and interesting to children. Before talking, parents should induce their children to pour out their hearts freely, and then give back their opinions higher than their children as gifts. Through the exchange of ideas between parents and children, children have been educated and enlightened. Simple parents talk, children listen, and there is no feedback, which can't be regarded as real communication. What is even more undesirable is that parents satirize and criticize their children by talking, seize a small matter and nag endlessly, which makes them disgusted and bored.
The art of conversation is mainly embodied in the capture of conversation opportunities and the use of conversation methods. Generally speaking, parents and children should not talk when they are in a bad mood, especially when they are angry. Don't talk until the whole story is clear; Please don't have a critical conversation when there are outsiders, especially guests present; At the dinner table, before the children go to bed, it is not appropriate to have a critical conversation. Family education is characterized by "teaching in times of trouble", so the timing of education should be flexible, and everything should be based on the needs of education, especially the effect of education, and the acceptance of children. There are many ways to talk, such as rambling, investigation, encouragement, serious criticism and education. Among them, rambling, that is, talking freely and happily without being limited by time, place and content, is often a popular way of talking for children.
A successful conversation is like a spring breeze, and children will be taught.
Second, the art of activities with children
Family atmosphere is one of the important factors in the implementation of family education, and activities with children are one of the effective ways to create a good family atmosphere.
In life, parents and children have many opportunities for activities.
Take the children to the wild. Nature is beautiful: flowers in spring, cicadas in summer, fallen leaves in autumn, and snow in winter all attract children infinitely. Parents take their children for an outing in the season, and the pleasing natural scenery will bring their children beautiful reverie and longing, and call back their parents' memories of childhood fun. A common mood and a common language make the distance between the old and the young disappear at once, and how much educational content can be carried out at this moment.
Take the children sightseeing. Children are happiest when they can travel abroad during holidays. Those places of interest and various exhibitions are worth seeing. During the visit, if parents can give incisive explanations, children are most admired; If the knowledge is obviously insufficient, parents will be forced to look up books and materials, so as to win the children's hearts.
Take the children shopping. When children are young, they like to go shopping with their parents, and by the way, they can order things that people like to eat. Parents can take the opportunity to introduce commodity knowledge and instill the truth of frugality. When children grow up, they can shop for their families and themselves. Parents can be accompanied by staff officers, chatting while buying, chatting while watching and chatting while walking. It is a good opportunity for education that two generations do not guard against each other.
Have fun with the children. After dinner, on holidays, the whole family shows their magical powers, plays the piano and sings, and talks about everything, which fills the family with a happy atmosphere and enhances the cohesion of the family and the interest of life.
Parents and children have a lot to do together. The purpose of joint activities is to eliminate the generation gap, harmonize feelings, entertain and educate, and let family education be carried out in joyful, cordial and unrestrained activities.
Third, the art of praise and reward.
It is also very learned to praise and reward children.
Praise and reward children can encourage them to repeat the formation of good habits; Praise and reward can stimulate children's self-motivation, help cultivate children's self-esteem and sense of honor, cultivate children's self-discipline, enhance children's sense of right and wrong, and help deepen the feelings between parents and children.
The child's re-election has fulfilled the parents' demands and hopes and can be praised and rewarded; Children who behave well can also be praised and rewarded, although they are only signs; Children have completed an arduous task, shown brave quality or perseverance, and can also be praised and rewarded by their parents. Parents should praise and reward their children for winning the honorary title.
There are many ways to praise and reward children, and spiritual reward should be the main one. For example: praise, approval, nodding, smiling, intimacy, etc. Can achieve the goal of inspiring children to make progress. There should also be material rewards. For young children, necessary material rewards are also a good means of education. You can send books, clothes, toys, school supplies, etc. But be careful with your money, and don't let your child's young age and pure heart get copper smell too early.
Parents should seize the opportunity of praise and reward. When a child is excited, it comes and goes quickly. Parents should grasp their children's psychological pulse, praise and reward them in time, so that their good performance can be strengthened and consolidated. If it's Monday morning quarterback, it will weaken the incentive.
Again, praise or reward should be realistic, because this is an evaluation of children, and children should know themselves in praise and reward. Too high, easy for children to be blindly satisfied; Too low, and it is not easy to achieve the purpose of motivation. In addition, parents should be sincere when praising and rewarding, and it is best not to promise in advance. Once they make a promise, they should keep it. Never bargain with your child about the degree of reward.
In recent years, some "scholars" refer to "appreciation education" as "universal education" and say: "Appreciating children can be made out of nothing." This statement is debatable, and it is unscientific to replace all educational means with one educational method.
Fourth, the art of apologizing to children.
In family life, parents often say something wrong, do something wrong, and even wronged their children. How to deal with such problems is really one of the arts of family education.
Parents and children should have a democratic and equal relationship in the family. Parents should take the initiative to apologize if they have done something wrong or wronged their children. This will not affect parents' prestige, let alone their dignity; On the contrary, it will set an example for children to correct their mistakes, and will make children sincerely admire their parents' quality and cultivation, so as to trust their parents more and be close to them; The dignity of parents will not be reduced, but will be higher, which will also form a relaxed, harmonious and democratic atmosphere conducive to the growth of children in the family.
Of course, when parents apologize and admit their mistakes, especially for their children, they must be sincere, not perfunctory, not looking for objective reasons, and sincerely seek forgiveness.
Verb (short for verb) The art of tolerance.
Tolerance means that after a child does something wrong, parents accept the child's fault with a broad mind. They don't reprimand or investigate harshly, which will make the child deeply blame himself, calmly think about his past in regret and guilt, and urge him to turn over a new leaf in the generosity of his parents.
Give two examples to illustrate:
Lenin went to his aunt's house with his mother when he was 8 years old. He accidentally broke a vase, and no one saw it then. Asked why, he was too scared to admit it. The careful aunt guessed that it must be naughty Lenin, but the mother kept silent and waited for her son to feel ashamed. Three months later, the mother stroked her son's head and wanted to say something. Unexpectedly, Lenin burst into tears and told about the vase. The mother comforted her son and tolerated him. The mother knew that her son had won the inner moral struggle.
India's Mahatma Gandhi caught the bad habit of smoking in his teens, and later developed to the point of stealing money to buy cigarettes. Deeply saddened and regretful, he wrote down the process of his fall in detail in his notebook, gathered up the courage to give it to his father, eager to get his father's lesson and punishment. Father didn't blame him, just stared at Gandhi for a long time, and two lines of tears rolled down. Gandhi was shocked by his father's tolerance. From then on, Gandhi repented and turned over a new leaf and embarked on the right path.
It can be seen that tolerance is indeed a very effective means of education. When applying, it is recommended to pay attention to the following points:
The premise of carrying out tolerance education is that children must realize their mistakes and feel deeply guilty and regretful before they can use tolerance measures.
When parents are ready to forgive their children's mistakes, they should make their children feel sad about their mistakes in expression and tone, and believe that their children can repent. Such as Lenin's mother's touch on Lenin and Gandhi's father's tears, are excellent education for them. Parents should not take an indifferent attitude, so that their children can feel at ease, have no pressure and lack the determination to correct.
Tolerance is to let children form good habits and morals, which can only be produced and consolidated through practice. Parents should not involve their children just because they have not done something well. Allowing children to do good deeds is also a kind of tolerance for children.
Tolerance does not mean letting go or letting go. Tolerance is positive education, and the journey is the performance of parents' dereliction of duty.
Sixth, the art of criticism.
Criticism is a common means in family education. Parents criticize their children in order to give negative comments on their bad thoughts, behaviors and qualities and give them a warning, thus causing their guilt, pain and regret, learning from their shortcomings and mistakes and not repeating them.
The application should be fair, reasonable and appropriate. If you make a mistake, you will completely deny the child; Criticize today's mistakes, but also use previous mistakes; One point error is always criticized as very wrong, and these estimation methods are inappropriate. Therefore, when parents encounter their children's shortcomings, they should find out the plot, find out the reasons and properly estimate the degree of mistakes. They can't blame, blame and analyze the harm without knowing the situation. If so, it will not only fail to achieve the purpose of education, but also cause children's rebellious psychology, which is not conducive to solving problems.
In the way of criticism, we must first affirm the right and then point out the wrong; Praise the past first, then point out today's; You can even criticize yourself first and then criticize your children. Criticizing children can be serious or even severe, but this does not mean rudeness, let alone irony, ridicule and abuse. Otherwise, it will hurt the child's self-esteem, which will inevitably lead to opposition.
We often say, "It is better to win one prize than dozens." It refers to giving priority to positive encouragement when educating children, but not denying criticism or even punishment of mistakes, shortcomings and negligence. Criticism can be used, but not too much, and don't take criticism as a means of education for parents. In addition, criticism and punishment is a kind of denial and pressure, but it can also be an incentive and a kind of motivation. As parents, we must face our children's problems rationally, try our best to restrain our useless emotional impulses, enhance our educational awareness and pay attention to the art of criticism.
Seven, the art of setting an example
We often say that the power of example is infinite. In family education, the words and deeds of role models make the educational content concrete and personalized, make children infected and educated by images, enhance the attraction and effectiveness of education, encourage children to imitate and learn noble moral behaviors, and correct their own bad words and deeds.
The younger the child, the more attractive the role model is. The example of my childhood left a deep impression on me, and I will never forget it.
Parents are the most important role models for children. Parents are children's teachers, and their words and deeds are the most intuitive teaching materials for children to learn. Parents' leading by example can not only enhance the credibility and appeal of reasoning, but also play a subtle role like spring breeze. Therefore, parents should always check themselves and show their children's moral cultivation with their good first behavior.
Of course, in family education, the exemplary role of role models is not spontaneous, and parents need to give correct guidance. How should parents choose and set an example for their children in life? We should publicize and set up revolutionary leaders, hero models, outstanding figures in history and positive typical images in literary and artistic works by telling stories, watching TV and reading books, so as to influence the education of children and make them become role models in their hearts. Because they condense the excellent moral character of the Chinese nation, they should be the criterion for children to learn to be human. In order for children to receive a profound education, parents must first have a deep understanding of the ideological realm of these characters. Only with deep feelings can they influence, influence and guide their children.
Parents should also pay attention to finding role models for their children among peers and classmates, which can increase the intimacy of learning. These people are all children's peers and have similar life experiences. Children are familiar with the good ideas, good moral character and good style shown by their peers, which are easy to understand and accept, and can stimulate their learning motivation. But parents should remember not to pick out the advantages and disadvantages of their classmates and compare them with their children's shortcomings, let alone take the opportunity to satirize their children. If parents often say, "Look at that child, then look at you, you make me sad!" " "This kind of education can only play a negative role and make children feel disgusted. The correct way is to seize the opportunity, stimulate self-study, enhance self-confidence and be willing to learn.
Expansion: Eight Methods of Happy Family Education
First, give your child a choice.
It is very important to let children do things according to their own interests, which is also one of the best ways to help children succeed. If you let your child feel that she has the freedom to choose ballet or aerobics, she will work harder to do the one she chooses.
Second, accept him now.
If you are only interested in whether your child is the best reader in the class, you expect too much. Every child grows at his own pace. Comparing your child with other children will make him feel that if he doesn't study and do things according to a certain standard, he is a failure. On the contrary, if your child seems to have some talents in painting or sports, as a parent, you should give him every opportunity to develop his talents.
Third, find hidden difficulties.
A good environment is equally important. Some children concentrate most in a quiet room, while others like a lively background. If your child says he doesn't like being locked in a room alone, let him do his homework on the kitchen table. If a child becomes unmotivated, he usually has a reasonable reason.
4. Talk about your work positively.
Being exhausted after a disturbing day's work is a part of life. However, in this state, it is also important to tell your children what makes you happy and unhappy at work. Inspire his vision and enthusiasm, and he will think, "If I work hard, I will be as successful as my mother." If you are stuck in a boring job and really have nothing to share with your child, tell him that if you can't get a certain qualification or education, you can't find an interesting job. Sometimes, children find motivation from the idea that they never want to live like their parents.
Step 5 explain your reasons
If you don't want your child to give up piano education because you are sure it will be good for him, what will you do? Whatever you want to do, don't yell at the child and scold him at the top of your lungs. After shouting for a few minutes, he stopped listening to what you were saying. On the contrary, if you are willing to explain to him why you think it is important to continue practicing, he may agree with you instead. Even if he still disagrees, it doesn't matter. He probably has his own opinion. Parents should also listen to their children's opinions and tell them that whatever they do, what they have learned will remain in their experience and will never be wasted.
Sixth, pay attention to the role of praise.
It is extremely important to constantly praise children, but praise must be targeted. Children are not stupid at all. If he shows you what he has just finished and you just say "well done", he will know that you have not really noticed him and his achievements. What you should say at this time is: "I like the way you discuss this in your article, which is very thought-provoking." Or "You play scales very smoothly." Wait a minute. Then, the child knows that you are really interested in his small grades, and he will work harder to win your praise next time.
Seven, wise reward
Parents are advised not to give their children too much reward. If they do well, they should be given a small gift to show their gratitude and encouragement. This is a positive push, and they won't be too worried if they don't achieve their predetermined goals.
Eight, let them do something they like from time to time.
If children can get enough encouragement from their parents, they will thrive. Often yell at the children: "What are you doing there again?" Parents seem to have stabbed their children in the heart, which will do great psychological harm to them. Each of us needs time to relax, listen to music, or do nothing but stare blankly. Then, when our "battery" is fully charged again, we will be full of energy and ready for the next challenge. So are children.