For example, "Mom loves me very much and Dad is very powerful", only a few words and events can form a fixed impression in children's hearts.
In the case of husband and wife living together, children have certain contact with their fathers, which has far less influence on children than single-parent families. It's actually very small.
Of course, there must be some slight influence. Simply refining the aforementioned "long speech" mainly includes these aspects:
① The influence of father absence on children's gender role development.
The father set an example for his son and trained his daughter to behave in a feminine way. Boys who have lost their fathers are relatively less masculine than boys with complete families, while girls who have lost their fathers often show male chauvinism.
② The influence of father's absence on children's personality formation.
In the process of getting along with his father, children will have a basic understanding of men and understand their unique qualities.
Boys who have no father lack determination and innovation, while girls who have no father's love may have doubts about men, which will affect their normal communication with men in the future.
Moreover, most children can get more perseverance, optimism and self-confidence from their fathers.
③ The influence of father absence on children's cognitive development.
Because of the uniqueness of father's personality and ability, children learn more knowledge and cultivate stronger abilities, such as hands-on operation ability and imagination. A recent study by Yale University shows that children raised by their fathers have higher IQ, better academic performance and are more likely to succeed in society.
Thirdly, the separation between the two places has far less impact on children than single-parent families.
As for how to solve this influence, if the children spend a certain amount of time with their fathers, there is basically no need to solve it. This situation is far from enough to cause children's personality defects, but it has a little impact on personality preferences. Different families themselves will have different effects on children. Thousands of people are the norm in this world. As long as it is within the normal range, they didn't say which personality would be good.
If you think your child has some personality characteristics and you really don't like them, you can try to change him.
You can educate him in peacetime.
You can make a deal with him and seduce him with Transformers.
When you are with your children, you can ask your husband for help and actively cooperate.
You can let your parents and in-laws pay attention and tell your children the truth kindly and lovingly.
You can respond to the teacher, change his seat in the class and let him take part in the school speech contest.
You can encourage him to play with some children. For example, if you like the children of a relative or colleague, you can go out with that relative or colleague more often and let them take care of the children.
You can show him some cartoons and books that are helpful to him.
You can let him take part in some activities that will help him improve, such as learning sand painting or taekwondo. You can let him learn to pack his own things and save money.
You can also beat him and support him with plastic clothes. It's quite shocking.
As for those personality preferences within the normal range, don't interfere too much, as long as you guide them correctly and foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.
Moreover, even if interference is imposed, it may not be effective. It is not easy to change a person's character, even for children.
I originally thought that a person's personality was determined by acquired influence. It was not until I had my own children that I realized that personality really has a lot to do with nervous system, adrenaline, hormones and lacrimal gland. Many times, we think that the problem of children is the problem of education. In fact, when we review the performance of children at the age of half a year, we will understand that personality factors account for a large proportion.
My child is an "athlete" in his arms. He always runs around when climbing, and he is always unstable. Impatience and hyperactivity are all brought out from the womb and cannot be changed. It can only be said that in some cases, it is an appropriate correction.
So, if you think there is something wrong with your child, don't sit with the "missing father" in a hurry. Think about whether children are born this way or influenced by other factors. Thirdly, generally speaking, the separation between the two places is not "fatherless" and has little impact.
Of course, there are extreme cases, and the chances of children contacting their fathers are very, very few. What should we do?
Children can get the basic knowledge of adult men from grandpa, and they can also learn the quality characteristics of men, but they are not as energetic as young men.
If the young mother can't take care of the children alone, it is also good for the old to take care of the children. If you are taking care of your children by yourself, it is also necessary to take your children to your parents' or in-laws' homes frequently.
Of course, you can also choose to let your child often associate with other adult men, but it seems that other issues are also involved.
At present, some public opinion societies are biased towards male aesthetics. Please look at the picture below.
This deviation is imperceptibly affecting our children through various media. Don't think that children will not be affected when they are young. All kinds of cartoons are also full of these deformed aesthetics.
Of course you don't like the word "deformity" because you like Professor Du and. Adults already have a complete system of values, and they like to return to like, but they don't take it seriously, but their influence on children can't be ignored.
Maybe you should help children choose cartoons, especially girls, instead of always being a fairy.
Generally speaking, children with a wide range of male knowledge and strong creativity and little father's company are relatively less affected in these aspects. However, there are many ways to obtain these features. Even if children are brought up by fathers, fathers are not the main source of children's knowledge and creativity.
Mothers can help children choose books, toys, TV programs, various activities in kindergartens and schools, etc. The daily affairs at home also allow children to participate more and work more, which can also cultivate Edison.
Finally, I have met many children who live in separated families in two places. Most of them have fathers working in other places, and none of them has obvious "fatherless characteristics". These children are healthy physically and mentally, and most of them are cute and sensible. Parents living in two different places need not worry too much.