Someone once joked that women have four major sorrows: being a mother's spouse, being a nanny's wife, being widowed and raising children, and being widowed and getting married.

And everything said here can be summarized as the lack of male identity as husband and father, so in real life we will hear such a voice:

"Our family is the shopkeeper. Every day when he comes back, he plays mobile phones and games and asks him to take care of the children. He says it's too hard to relax."

"My husband thinks that bringing children is a woman's business, and men are only responsible for making money."

Occasionally, the phrase "My husband likes to take care of children and change diapers for the baby every day in the month" will arouse the envy and hatred of many treasure mothers; Occasionally, Bao Da enters the group to exchange parenting experience, and Bao Ma looks around like a rare species.

A considerable number of families in China have a deep-rooted traditional concept that men are responsible for making money to support their families and women are responsible for cooking and taking care of their children.

One problem is that men have been like this since ancient times. Is it wrong to pass it down from ancestors?

The ancestor said: I am right, but I don't want to carry your pot.

In ancient times, fathers were directly involved in raising children.

With the emergence of the tool+male dynasty, the status of men gradually rose. A man is an official's wife and children, and a woman takes her children to socialize. However, after they returned to China, they directly participated in the cultivation of their children.

We can learn how much ancient fathers paid attention to the cultivation of their children from historical and cultural books and film and television dramas.

Look at the emperor's advice to his son, third brother and concubines in the palace. Everything is arranged in poetry, etiquette, horseback riding and archery. Everything should be asked about children's progress and how to make progress.

The quality of a princess is mainly manifested in politics, either by marrying a family to stabilize the court or by marrying countries to stabilize the two countries. How can we talk about politics without self-cultivation?

The emperor is so busy that he pays attention to participating in family education and raising children together. What do you have?

I left all the difficulties of raising children to my wife to worry about, and I happily went out to drink and play games. No wonder most people who want to remarry after divorce are men, and women who are sober after divorce will not want to remarry.

Father must be involved in family education.

More and more studies have found that father's company is more important to children's growth than we thought.

In the field of child psychology, there is a famous "father role" theory. This theory makes it clear that the father is an important "playmate" in the process of children's growth.

And those children who are often close to their mothers, although life is carefree, but their performance is not satisfactory:

Boys are introverted, unwilling to talk to others, and lack the heart to make progress and struggle;

Girls can't get along well with the opposite sex and have great emotional defects.

1, the influence on gender identity

As the first male image in a child's life, the child will regard all the behavioral characteristics of his father as a role model for men.

For boys, dad is the source of self-confidence, courage and self-control.

It is found that if boys are not accompanied by their fathers in infancy, they will be more feminine and like non-physical and non-competitive activities, which will affect their gender identity.

For girls, dad is the first opposite sex in life, which is very important for shaping a healthy view of the opposite sex. Girls will be more timid and anxious when they get along with the opposite sex if they lack their father's company in childhood.

2. Influence on personality development

Children's ability to imitate is amazing. As the first authoritative image in children's life, father will become the object of children's imitation from small living habits to big behaviors.

Dad's good habits will be heard by children, benefiting them for life, and bad habits are easier to pass on to children.

Because of the natural differences between men and women, parents educate their children in different ways. Generally speaking, dad has a greater influence on children's IQ and EQ in terms of practical ability, desire to explore and broaden their horizons.

No matter how good a mother is, she can't replace her father.

Writer Luigi wrote in Fatherhood that the most unfortunate things in a family are the absence of a father, the sadness of a wife and the sadness of a child.

One father is better than 100 principals. Because of the lack of fatherly love from childhood, boys are weak, timid and lacking in masculinity, while girls are prone to lack of security and cause inferiority.

Therefore, the father's influence on the child's personality, emotion, study, quality and even physique is self-evident.

How does the father participate in parenting?

Nowadays, there are more demands on women in society, and the demands on men are also raised in disguise. In addition to the shopkeepers, there are also some devoted prospective fathers who want to accompany them but have no time to accompany them. What should we do?

If you can see your children often and don't need to travel and work overtime, you can take your children to exercise and play together to increase contact opportunities.

Compared with the mother's soft words and gentle caresses, the way dad contacts the baby is usually physical interaction with big movements, such as lifting and chasing, which can give the baby strong physical stimulation and promote the baby's growth and development in weight, height and physical coordination.

Let the children play freely in the imaginary space, even if they are injured. Most of this situation is given by my father.

If you can't see your children often, please communicate by phone and video often. It takes 5 minutes to make children happy all day. 10 minutes.

In the past, the communication between father and child may just be: Have you eaten? No TV! Go do your homework!

This kind of communication is far from enough, and even keeps children away from their fathers. When they saw their father, they didn't want to talk.

Now we need a different way of communication, a gentle, convincing and frank dialogue: Why are you unhappy? Why did you forget to do your homework? Is it the teacher's problem or you don't want to write? Honestly, son.

Communication is easy, but heart-to-heart communication is not. Only by communicating attentively can the love between father and son be deeper.

One more thing, if the father has no time to attend the children's major festivals, please treat it with caution. Treating them with care is to make up a gift that makes children happy and sincerely apologize.

Yogurt Mommy has something to say: Some men refine their selfish ideas and publicize them in order to take advantage, but they don't know that this way not only makes people at the bedside disgusted, but also wants to stay away from their children. No one is a fool. When you need to rely on children in the future, don't blame your wife and children for not helping you.