[Keywords:] emotional education; Missing; Wrong idea
Children's education experts tell us that the most important habits, tendencies and attitudes necessary for life can be cultivated before the age of six. Therefore, early childhood is the foundation of healthy emotions and the golden period of emotional education. Family education is the foundation of a person's good personality cultivation. Let children learn honesty and trust, respect and sincerity, tolerance and love, courage and firmness, which are the seeds for their future growth. Parents are children's first teachers, families are children's first schools, and they are the cradle of cultivating people. Therefore, we should lose no time in emotional education for children.
First, the lack of family emotional education.
At present, in family education, parents are most concerned about children's intellectual development, with the focus on the development of cognitive ability. Since the child was born, he deliberately used various IQ toys, hoping to cultivate talented little geniuses, but neglected the cultivation of children's emotional ability. Look at our children. They are all "little emperors and little princesses". They have developed self-centered, self-willed, arrogant and selfish bad moral emotional consciousness and behavior since childhood.
In XXX, some preschool experts in Beijing went to a kindergarten to do psychological tests. The first test question is: "What would you do if you saw a dying kitten on the roadside?" The children rushed to answer excitedly: "Kick it to death!" "Use bricks!" "Step on the gas!" The children talked happily about the way to kill the kitten, but no one advocated saving the kitten. The expert then asked the second test question: "If you played well and a child hit you, what would you do?" A boy replied decisively: "I whipped him!" " "Other children also said: Hit him! Hit him! According to statistics, about 57. 1% people hold the view of "revenge". The expert asked again, "If my little sister is shivering with cold, will you lend her your clothes?"? "As a result, more than half of the children expressed their reluctance to lend their clothes to their little sisters. After the exam, should our parents ask their children where their sympathy lies? Why do they lose their love when they enjoy family care and material enjoyment more fully than their parents?
Let's look at our parents. The most frequently asked question is "Are you hungry?" "Are you cold?" "What did you learn in kindergarten today?" How many parents care about whether their children are happy today, how they feel and what they are interested in. How many people can patiently listen to their children, communicate with them and play games with them. Most parents feel very tired after a day's work and want to settle their children well, so they are not in the mood to care about their emotional life. Parents, don't treat children like children. He is an independent individual, but he hasn't grown up yet. He is not a pet. You just need to give him food and clothes. They still have emotional needs, just as crops need sunshine. Without him, they will be malnourished.
Second, the misunderstanding of family emotional education.
Maybe every parent will say that they love their children, but how to love is scientific and reasonable. Many parents still don't understand this problem, so they are blind and easy to go into the misunderstanding of emotional education.
Unconditionally meet the needs of children
Now we are all one-child families, and every child is the baby of mom and dad. Parents' love for their children is unconditional and out of human instinct, but this love should be rational. Some parents regard their children as the apple of their eye, only pay attention to providing superior material conditions for their children, ignore emotional education, satisfy their demands regardless of whether they are just or not, and often turn a blind eye to their mistakes and shortcomings. This kind of irrational love often makes parents spoil their children, and it is easy to form the shortcomings that children only know how to take, don't know how to pay, have no one else in their hearts, and are self-centered in everything.
What can parents do-let children know their parents' hard work, let children learn to honor their parents, learn to care about others, and inspire children to love labor and respect the fruits of labor. Parents should not blindly do everything and deprive their children of the opportunity to grow up. Doing what children should do on behalf of children is an attempt to grow up instead of children. Encouraging and guiding children to do their own things is the most effective way to help children grow up. Children's spontaneity, positive attitude, self-discipline and sense of responsibility are all related to this, because these need to be cultivated from "doing your own thing".
(b) Children are too young to communicate.
Some parents think that children are too young to have emotional communication. Parents can't take the initiative to communicate with their children, sometimes they are impatient with their children's emotional demands and rudely interrupt before the children finish speaking. The new theory is challenging the traditional view that two-month-old children have emotional orientation. From birth, children seem to have some assumptions about the world they live in. Their preferences show their emotional orientation. Children need caress and hug very much, otherwise they are prone to emotional hunger and thirst.
What parents can do-parents should satisfy their children's emotional hunger, spend more time with their children and communicate with them more emotionally. Nowadays, the fast-paced life shortens the time parents spend with their children, so parents should leave as much time as possible for their children. You can play games, watch movies and do housework with your children. In short, we should make use of every opportunity to talk and communicate with children, get close to them, talk, do things together, understand their development and changes, and enter their inner world. Parents should let their children feel the love of their parents. Sometimes touching the child's head, patting the child's shoulder, a kind greeting and an encouraging look can convey your love for the child. Don't treat children as accessories. He is an individual who needs to be loved and valued.
(3) Emotional education is simply preaching.
Some parents don't pay much attention to methods, and children can't understand their parents' good intentions because they are still young. In this way, parents' love becomes unpretentious preaching. Emotional education depends not on rational indoctrination, but on the feelings of the soul. It's useless for children to emphasize how the truth is correct. They have keen eyes. Parents deal with one thing, and when children see it, they will follow it next time, which is more effective than how much truth parents tell. Suhomlinski once said: "Parents' own behavior has a great influence on their children. Don't think that you are educating your children only when you talk to them, educate them and command them. Every moment of your life, even when you are not at home, you are educating your children. How you dress, how you talk to others, how you express joy and unhappiness, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, how you read newspapers ... all these are of great educational significance to children. "So, our parents should set an example and set a good example for their children. Don't think that children will learn by instilling some great truths in front of them; Don't think that children can't see what they say and do in front of them Children's eyes are real, and they often choose reality.
What can parents do?-Pay attention to role models. Strength, parents should set an example and let their children learn to love others. Emotional education should be integrated into daily life, starting from the bits and pieces of life. At the same time, parents should create a good environment for their children, let them accept, care and support, respect and care among their elders, and let them feel the warmth of their families. These will subtly cultivate children's hearts with healthy emotions and gradually develop good emotions.
(d) Lack of the role of the father, who thinks that education is the responsibility of the mother.
In many people's minds, it is still believed that the education of children is mainly the responsibility of mothers. Most fathers believe that it is love to let children earn more money, buy more toys, eat better meals and go to better schools. In fact, accompanying children is also love and an indispensable part. If you can stop a little and hurry, spend an extra hour with your children every day and feel the happiness brought by getting along with them, you will easily find that this is not only conducive to the healthy growth of your children, but also to your physical and mental health.
Perhaps many of our fathers don't understand that children need their fathers so much that they need their fathers to spend more time with their children. In fact, the value of a father spending an hour with his children every day is far more than 100 yuan, which not only makes children happy, but also has a great influence on their character. Relevant data show that children who can spend more than two hours with their parents every day have higher IQ than other children, boys are more like little men, and girls know how to communicate with the opposite sex better when they grow up. The example and exemplary role of the father's sense of responsibility for starting a business will build an invisible force in the children's hearts-the father is like a mountain.
What can parents do-in fact, children are not demanding of their fathers. If you give your child a close hug, a happy smile, a caring look, a heart-to-heart conversation and even a timely criticism, they will feel that you are paying attention to him and loving him. What a child fears most is that you ignore him. Father is the shoulder and backbone of children and the source of their strength.
References:
1. Guo Xiujuan's Strengthening Emotional Education of Children's Love and Family Education, February 2000.
2. Xu Liping's "Pay attention to emotional education and cultivate children's good personality", "Early Education" 2000.2.
3. Li Zhongying's 10 Essentials of Parent-child Relationship and Introduction to Early Childhood Education in April 2005.
4. Liu Shuying's "New Concept of Emotional Intelligence: Let Emotion Become the Driving Force for Their Growth" and "Introduction to Early Childhood Education" 2005+0