This is a news event that happened in Chongqing Luneng Bashu Middle School. He Mou, a female student, had a quarrel with her mother because her mobile phone was confiscated by the teacher on the day of school. On impulse, she jumped from 15 floor.

However, this kind of news event similar to "banter" is not a case in recent years.

16-year-old girl committed suicide by jumping off a building after being accused by her parents for not finishing her homework;

The 9-year-old boy smashed the school glass and dared not tell his parents, leaving a suicide note to commit suicide by jumping off a building.

13-year-old boy hanged himself with a towel in the bathroom at home without finishing his homework.

......

You may think such a trivial matter is worth committing suicide. But in fact, this is just their last hope for the world.

No one is born wanting to commit suicide. Suicide is an unnatural act.

Jiang, a best-selling author, blew himself up at Round Table School. He also thought about jumping off a building when he was a child.

Most suicidal teenagers have never felt the love of their families.

"Even if the whole world doesn't love me, I just hope you can hug me." This is their last wish to their parents.

Perhaps it is never the so-called pressure that kills them, but the fear and despair that are abandoned by love at any time.

In the variety "We Grow Up", Zhai Xiaowen shared a short story about his growth.

When I was in primary school, I went to physical education class once, and the whole class did physical exercise on the playground.

He felt a little thirsty, so he went back to the classroom to drink water alone.

But after class, someone told the teacher that he had lost his money.

He was the only one who returned to the classroom halfway.

Everyone gave him a suspicious look, and his face turned red with a swish.

As expected, the teacher called the parents.

After meeting, his father asked him, "Did you take it?"

He said in near despair, "No."

"Dad believes you. If you say you didn't take it, it must not be you. Don't worry, leave the rest to dad. "

A few short words and figures have warmed a child's heart.

In the face of all people's doubts, parents' understanding and trust can give children the strength and courage to face the problem directly.

As Miyazaki Hayao said in the movie: "Being deeply loved by someone will give you strength, and loving someone deeply will give you courage."

Piaget, a Swiss psychologist, believes that children's way of thinking is completely different from that of adults.

Many jokes between adults are often taken seriously by children.

Jiang said that because of a joke played by her mother when she was a child, she never dared to admit that she had developed as an adult.

Some trivial things that are not worth mentioning in the eyes of adults may be bigger than the sky in the eyes of children, and even become the last straw to crush his psychological defense.

In the TV series "The Last Day of Jasmine", 16-year-old Lin Jasmine said to herself on the rooftop when she committed suicide by jumping off a building: "Nobody loves me anyway, pathetic and unloved Jasmine, goodbye!"

In the short 16 years of her life, she longed for her mother's attention and understanding all the time, but she didn't get it until the day she died.

When she doesn't do well in the exam, her mother will only blame Molly: "Cry? How dare you cry? "

She studied hard, but what she got was her mother's denial and blow: "If I don't force you, do you think you can get the first place in the exam?" Don't be too proud. Be careful to fall down next time. "

She never seems to meet her mother's requirements.

From small to large, I plucked up courage again and again, disappointed and hit again and again, and finally broke her will, jumped and ended my life.

And her mother can only live in Lacrimosa all day and regret it. Her mother may never know that she worked so hard just to get her mother's concern and affirmation.

If you blame your child less, understand more and look at the problem from the child's point of view, all the parent-child problems seem to be solved.

Teenagers are in a period of rapid physiological growth, with rapid changes in hormones and violent mood swings.

In the face of pressure and frustration, negative emotions may be constantly amplified and even solve problems recklessly.

The investigation report on adolescent suicide points out that:

One in five teenagers thought about suicide, accounting for 20.5% of the total sample.

It is equivalent to that every 40 seconds on average, a person ends his life because of unbearable difficulties, pressures or diseases in life, and the root causes are all related to psychological resilience.

"Resilience" is a word in psychology, which is what we often call psychological endurance. Refers to a person's ability to adapt to stress and adversity.

A good person in psychological resilience, when encountering setbacks and pressures, will know how to adjust his negative emotions and quickly restore his physical and mental state to balance;

For a person who lacks psychological flexibility, a little pressure from outside may make him never recover, or even choose to self-harm or commit suicide.

So, how to improve children's psychological resilience?

First of all, you can do some desensitization training when your child is young.

Professor Li Meijin from Renmin University of China pointed out that people's psychological development is a slow process. It won't be difficult for children to grow up because of a little thing. You must do some desensitization training when he is young.

The so-called desensitization is to let children slowly adapt to some bad things in their early years.

Secondly, parents' emotional care and understanding will also enhance their children's psychological resilience.

Psychological research shows that people who grow up in a family environment with little emotional care gradually learn to ignore their emotions and habitually suppress them, because they know that their sadness, crying and anger will not be paid attention to, which will eventually lead to tragedy.

It is normal for children to encounter setbacks and pressures that they can't accept for a while and have negative emotions. What parents need to do at this time is to help their children recover from negative emotions and face the pressure again.

Scott Peck, a famous American psychotherapist, said: "The love of parents determines the quality of family education. Education full of love brings luck, and education without love can only lead to misfortune. "

For children, parents are the closest people. When they are wronged outside, what they want most is a hug from their parents and a simple comfort.

Children who feel love in a family know that no matter what happens, their parents are their strong backing, they can rely on them, they can talk to them and they can trust them 100%. And those children who have never felt love in the family will want to go into despair when they encounter a little thing.

-The end-

Author: Yi Dianling's creative group

Have a little spirit, pay attention to personal psychological growth, and accompany you to become a better self.