1、? I need both help and independence. Listen, even if you can do everything for me, please leave it to me.
Nowadays, many families have only one child, so naturally they will overindulge their children intentionally or unintentionally, and always habitually rush in front of them to help them solve things.
But children can grow up from one little thing after another. Therefore, parents should change their thinking and be children's shields to protect her, but don't be his spears and charge for him.
2、? Please allow me to make some mistakes, even if you remind me in advance?
In fact, not only children, but also adults can't do things.
No child can make mistakes. Some things, parents say 100 times, but they are not so firm when they hit a wall, so parents should give their children room to make mistakes.
Then, after the child makes a mistake, the parents will talk to the child calmly, and the child will listen more easily. Because parents know why children make mistakes and educate them in a targeted way, children will feel more convinced.
3、? Please don't force me to live according to your model?
As the poet Haisan said in For My Children:
You are not my hope, no, you are your own hope. My unfulfilled dream is still mine. this is nothing to do with you. Let them have nothing to do with you Why don't you have a brand-new dream in which I don't have to be there?
I am an aging thing, but I am still not ready to dedicate my life to you. This is my stubbornness. However, I love you, my child, I love you. Is that all?
Everyone is an independent fanatic and has independent thoughts. No one should live according to his own ideas. Children's future should be left to their own children to choose. Children like playing drums, and parents don't have to force their children to learn to dance just because they like it.
4、? Please protect my self-esteem and privacy?
Even now, there are still many parents who peek at their children's diaries and spy on their privacy in the name of caring for their children. Even talk to relatives and friends about the contents of the child's diary, regardless of the child's feelings.
Then the parents' practice will only make the child more reluctant to confide in his parents and push the child further. Parents should remember that even children need their own space as they get older.
5、? Please don't tell me what to do with the time of 10 1
For the sake of children, parents always like to tell their children before they do something? What should you do? 、? What should I not do? , repeatedly told.
However, parents' repeated exhortations will actually make children feel that they can't do anything well in their parents' eyes, or make them mistreat their parents. Preach? I felt disgusted and became rebellious. The less my parents let me do it, the more I want to do it.
6、? I will learn not only what you told me, but also what you showed, including your bad habits?
When children are young, they look at their parents with filters, thinking that everything their parents do will be right, so children will subconsciously imitate their parents' words and deeds. If parents find that their children have any bad habits, they can also look at themselves first. Is it a bad habit that they didn't notice? They are seen and studied by children.
Therefore, to educate children, parents should not only regulate their children, but also set an example for their own behavior.
7、? Please don't always hold it? Other people's children? Hit me?
Parents mention other people's children with good intentions, hoping to inspire them and make them better. But this kind of negative encouragement is far less effective for children than positive encouragement.
It is easy for children to feel that they are being denied and criticized from negative and encouraging sentences. Then children will be in a negative and encouraging living environment for a long time, and children will easily become inferior, which can only have the opposite effect.
8、? More suggestions, less orders?
Parents always talk to their children in a commanding tone, which will make them feel oppressed, once they get used to it? Director? Then gradually, children's ability to think independently will be less and less, so once children encounter problems, the first thing they want is not how to solve them themselves, but whether someone can help me solve them.
Once you find that you can only rely on yourself, your child will easily become overwhelmed and collapse. Poor ability to resist setbacks.
9、? Please respect my opinion?
If parents always habitually make decisions for their children, or let children express their ideas first, and then use some reasons to oppose him, then living in such an environment for a long time, children will feel that they are not valued, and the distance between children and parents will become farther and farther.
10、? Because I am a poplar, please don't expect to pick pine nuts from me?
No child is perfect, and parents can't ask their children to be proficient in this and know it like the back of their hands. Children are required to learn dance well from an early age, but after singing, parents should allow their children to have shortcomings.