Developmental psychology believes that after puberty, children will overestimate themselves and long for recognition, which will make them anxious.
Gender identity refers to the recognition and acceptance of male or female biological characteristics, that is, understanding gender, including the correct use of gender labels, understanding the stability of gender, understanding the firmness of gender and understanding the genetic basis of gender. This process must be completed in the process of communication with the opposite sex.
American psychologist Helok divides the sexual development of adolescence into four stages, namely alienation, identity, fanaticism and maturity.
Self-identity was put forward by American psychologist Erickson, which refers to the individual's sense of self-integration and adaptation in a specific environment, the individual's ability to seek internal consistency and continuity, and the subjective feelings and consciousness of "who am I", "my future development direction" and "how can I adapt to society".
Seligman and others put forward three pillars of positive psychology research: positive emotional experience, personality traits and positive social organization system. The three pillars of positive psychology are interrelated, and the formation of positive personality is based on the acquisition of positive emotional experience. On the contrary, positive personality increases the possibility of individuals getting positive emotional experience, while positive social organization system provides social support for the acquisition and formation of the first two. Therefore, these three are real and complex interactions, and they are indispensable.
Teenagers are an important period of personality development and formation. Education is not only to teach students specific knowledge, but also to discover themselves and cultivate students' positive qualities, including explicit and potential positive qualities. The cultivation of positive quality is mainly achieved by stimulating and strengthening individual's various practical abilities and potential abilities. When stimulation and reinforcement make a practical ability or potential ability a habitual way of working, positive personality traits are formed.
? How to treat puppy love from the perspective of positive psychology?
First of all, the theory of self-determination is an important field in the study of positive personality traits in positive psychology. According to the theory of self-determination, people have three innate needs: independent needs, ability needs and relationship needs. When these three needs are met, it is most likely to generate intrinsic motivation, and people will gain happiness and develop their potential. To some extent, people can experience more positive emotional experiences in the process of falling in love. Although the relationship between teenagers is unstable and immature, this close relationship can stimulate them to experience more positive emotions. This positive emotional experience makes students more open to life and stimulates more enthusiasm and motivation for learning.
? Second, the "mirror self" theory holds that "I" is the product of face-to-face with "others", who are like a mirror, and my self-awareness comes from how others look at me. It can be seen that mirror self is a self-concept formed when others evaluate and judge themselves. Adolescence is also an important period for the formation of self-concept. They pay special attention to their image in the hearts of the opposite sex. In the process of getting along with men and women, they can not only see me in their own hearts, but also see me in the eyes of others. Boys can only read the expectations of society for men from girls' eyes, and girls can only know the requirements of society through communication with boys. Boys and girls in love can appreciate each other, which can strengthen the positive quality of teenagers' self-concept.
Third, adolescent students' heterosexual communication and gender identity are the phased development tasks of life. Many parents and teachers think that as long as students get good grades, everything else can be ignored. Ignoring the important tasks in the development stage will create psychological barriers artificially, and it will be too late to find problems when you want to have heterosexual contacts in your youth.
Coping strategies:
First, puppy love does not aim at marriage. Puppy love is not love, but a normal emotional response to the opposite sex. Therefore, if you find puppy love, don't be nervous. You should give students proper care, understanding and support, protect their self-esteem and guide them to communicate with the opposite sex reasonably and moderately.
Second, for primary and secondary school students, learning is the main task, and physical and mental development is also an important task. Teachers should make full use of the characteristics of adolescent emotional development in this period to improve the communication quality of students of the opposite sex.
Third, teenagers' psychological development is immature, and they are easily influenced by their own emotions and fall into chaos. Therefore, it is particularly important to observe and develop good behavior habits. Although "puppy love" is not true love, they cast a lot of real feelings and may also establish close attachment. Once the relationship is destroyed, teachers should teach them to correctly handle contradictions, conflicts and breakups. Teenagers in this period are easily hurt by improper handling of these problems. Therefore, teachers and parents should guide students to handle and manage their emotions well, guide students to make positive attribution, grasp the discretion of behavior, develop a code of conduct that conforms to social norms, and face it with a positive attitude to avoid students being destroyed by emotions.
? Fourthly, the pleasant emotional experience gained from adolescent heterosexual communication, as well as the positive feedback and support from parents, are conducive to students to grow into a confident, self-respecting, independent and self-reliant man and woman.