A few days ago, something happened, which made us think, what is the best way of education?
In the shopping mall, a mother took her baby shopping and passed a jewelry store, so the mother took her daughter to see it. My mother is carefully choosing what she likes and has completely forgotten her daughter. Girls are born to love beauty. My five-year-old daughter took a fancy to a very beautiful hairpin and took it off and tried it on herself. But because she was too short, the little girl jumped up to get it, but all the ornaments beside her fell off.
At this time, my mother rushed over and saw a mess. She glanced at her flustered daughter and told her children to apologize to the staff of the jewelry store. At this time, all the people in the shop gathered around, and the child could not open his mouth. Tears rolled in his eyes, but his mother was reasoning with her.
Speaking of which, maybe many parents don't think there is anything wrong with this mother. They think her mother is a reasonable mother. She didn't scold her daughter, didn't ignore her, and deliberately passed the buck.
However, for children, this mother is undoubtedly cruel. Why do you say that? Because my mother stood on the opposite side of herself the first time she saw her daughter make a mistake. She didn't ask her daughter why she knocked off the jewelry or whether she was hurt, but forced her to admit her mistake in front of so many people and apologize to them. Five-year-old children don't know any moral standards or social order. All they can feel is love.
So, after a few words, the five-year-old daughter began to cry, and the tears could not stop. At this time, her mother was still calmly telling her the truth, teaching her daughter to apologize if she made a mistake, completely ignoring her psychological changes.
Rousseau, a famous French educator and thinker, believes that reasoning with children, losing one's temper and deliberately moving children are the three most incompetent educational methods in the world. In this case, mother broke the first rule. It is incompetent and useless to reason with a child when he is most helpless.
I say this because mothers who reason with their children only stand from their own point of view, have no scruples about their children's feelings, regulate all their behaviors according to their own ideas and standards, try to treat their children in a didactic way, let them feel the truth of the adult world, and deal with problems according to adult standards. This is undoubtedly a manifestation of parents' selfishness.
Therefore, more and more parents say that many times, they calm down and reason with their children calmly, but no matter how many times they say it, the problems on their children have not been solved. But we never thought that children, as an independent living body, have their own unique thoughts and feelings, and our preaching will only make them feel annoyed.
The problem is that we only know how to reason with children, but we never know the truth that "example is better than example"! What we should do is to influence all children's behaviors with our own personal practice. No matter how much we talk, we might as well bend down and do a little thing. We should all understand this truth!