JK Rowling gave her answer at the age of 32.
Even though she had an unhappy childhood, was not favored by her parents, suffered from inferiority in appearance and domestic violence by her husband, and her sent works were rejected and questioned countless times, she still persisted in her dream and finally successfully published Harry Potter, which was popular all over the world, and lit up the magical world in countless people's hearts.
Don't be afraid of others' negations and doubts, keep your original heart and still keep your courage in life.
Only when you regard yourself as the protagonist of life can you experience true heroism.
In our life, we often face the so-called standard answer-
It seems that everyone knows how others should live and what a complete life is. But what is the answer to life, but we need to find and define it.
How to live in this life can only be defined by yourself, and has nothing to do with others.
But "nothing to do with people" is not an irrational blind concern about the feelings of the self, but a balance and choice between relative rationality and ideals after understanding one's subjective thoughts and objective environment.
If you choose to be blindfolded, it is just a kind of self-deception, thinking that you have put aside gossip.
Charles Horton Cooley, an American sociologist, put forward the theory of "self in the mirror" in his book Human Nature and Social Order. He believes that human behavior depends largely on self-awareness, and self-awareness is mainly formed through social interaction with others.
Others' evaluation and attitude towards themselves is a "mirror" reflecting themselves, through which individuals can know and grasp themselves.
We can't judge ourselves out of society, but it doesn't mean that we have to live our lives entirely with other people's comments and opinions, but it is entirely possible for us to open our ears and face up to these views.
After observing the environment and listening to the opinions of all parties, we may need to make an arrangement choice for our life.
Recently, there have been frequent incidents of house collapse in rice circles, and many celebrities' misdeeds have been exposed. In an instant, people like "youth", "inspiration" and "simplicity" completely collapsed, but we people who eat melons were shocked, and many stars began to talk about the color change of "people's design".
But aside from these role settings, each of us actually has a "role attribute" to bear. We are students in school, employees in the workplace and children at home.
We are in different places, at different times, in different identities, playing different roles and meeting different requirements, but we often ignore that we are the most important role.
Papi sauce, an online celebrity, once told her life sequence in a variety show. In her opinion, "self" ranks first, followed by "partner", "child" and "parents", because "self" is the longest partner in life.
This ranking surprised everyone on the show, but it also resonated with many netizens. "She said something I dare not say."
We often lose ourselves in the crowd, learn to sacrifice and learn to give up, so that loving ourselves becomes a kind of "selfishness", playing other roles dutifully, and even losing ourselves becomes a kind of "greatness".
But in fact, if we don't "love ourselves" and play our roles well, how can we be happy, live longer, have the motivation to improve ourselves and improve our abilities, and have the capital to play other roles well in the long years.
Putting "self" in a secondary position in life is not the opposite of pursuing the meaning of life?
In 2020, the TV series I am Yu Huanshui became an instant hit. The tragedy of Yu Huanshui's first half life-being treated unfairly, being despised and ridiculed by people around him, being betrayed by people at the bedside, seems to be unfair in fate, but most of the reasons are from Yu Huanshui himself.
His weakness in character made him constantly compromise and become a "good guy" or even a "bad guy", which made others unable to face up to his demands, see his efforts, or even see his "flying high" life.
Fortunately, he turned around, and when he mistakenly thought that his life was coming to an end, he turned around again, which also brought new hope to his career and life.
In reality, we may also be experiencing the story of the protagonist in the play, wandering and considering whether to compromise and become the perfect appearance that others hope.
In fact, the heart has given the answer to what we want. It's just that we are often used to pursuing the so-called "standard answer" and ignore the courage of being "hated" hidden in the subconscious.
Whether in appearance, body aesthetics, choices on the road of life, or constant concessions in daily work and life, we are more or less caught in a "catering state" and cannot face up to our true inner values and needs.
In the book "The Courage to Hate: Adler's Philosophy Course as the Father of Self-inspiration", the author expounds the viewpoint that "people who interfere in your life can go to hell".
We shout for freedom all day. What is freedom? Is it lying flat? Is there nothing to ask for? No, we all have our own values, but we are used to wearing all kinds of condoms for ourselves and living in the expectation of others, so that we always feel very tired in life.
But if we try to let go of other people's definitions of life and us, redefine our values and what live high wants, we will have more confidence and a wonderful life.
"A sound sense of inferiority does not come from comparing with others, but from comparing with the' ideal self'."
Thought has the power to change a person's life. All that remains is the "courage" to take a step.
To have the courage to break down barriers, we must first get rid of inferiority, develop self-confidence, and maintain an objective and sober self-awareness of ourselves.
On the way to the front-end study, you may be afraid that your ability is not enough and that your foundation of becoming a monk halfway is not solid; Maybe you will be anxious, and people around you will learn faster and better than themselves; Even self-doubt, is this the right path? ...
These emotions are normal, but they are not the reasons and excuses for you to give up. The real obstacle actually comes from ourselves, so if this is the road you like, please bite your teeth and stick to it.
As Lin Qingxuan loved in his works, the lily growing on the edge of the cliff, no matter how bad the growth environment, can't kill its nature as a lily-
I want to blossom because I know I have beautiful flowers;
I want to blossom, in order to complete the solemn mission as a flower;
I want to blossom, because I like to prove my existence with flowers.
No matter whether anyone appreciates it or not, no matter what you think of me, I will blossom!
Because, that is our own life and has nothing to do with others.