First, train children's ability to be alone.
Psychologists say that security is not a sense of dependence. If a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as leaving himself in a safe room.
Children don't necessarily need their parents to be present at all times to feel safe. Even if they can't see you, they will know where you are in their hearts.
Experts say that adults need to "respond" to children's needs, not "satisfy" everything.
Second, satisfy children to some extent.
Some boundaries must be set artificially, and children's requirements cannot be met unconditionally.
"Another prerequisite for happiness is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life."
Dr. Thomas, a child psychologist, told us, "Only when a child understands that getting something depends not on his desire, but on his ability, can he get inner happiness."
The sooner a child understands this truth, the less his pain will be.
Don't always satisfy your child's wishes the first time. The right thing to do is to delay it.
For example, if a child is hungry, you can make him wait for a few minutes.
Don't give in to all the children's demands. Refusing some requests will be more helpful for children to get peace of mind.
Accepting this kind of "unsatisfactory reality" training at home will give children enough psychological endurance to face setbacks in their future lives.
Third, when the child is angry, treat it coldly.
The first way for a child to get angry is to distract him and try to make him angry in the room. Without an audience, he will gradually calm down.
Appropriate punishment, and stick to it.
The strategy of saying "no": don't say "no" dryly, but explain to your child why not.
Even if the child doesn't understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him;
Parents should agree, not one says yes and the other says no; Prohibit one thing and give him the freedom to do another.
Fourth, face up to his shortcomings.
If the child is different from other children, such as the child is too fat, has a problem with the shape of his ears, or has extreme personality and behavior, parents must not deny these facts, but actively discuss with him, find a solution, or accept the reality.
In this regard, it is the best way to find an expert, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously.
Fifth, criticism, not people.
Criticize children according to their merits. For example, if a child breaks his mother's jewelry, it is correct: "Look, if you play something you have no right to play with, such a bad thing will happen."
It is wrong to say "you are so bad". How can you break my jewelry? You mean not to let mom wear it! "
The first sentence clearly told the child that his mistake was "moving something that should not be moved" and did not deny the child's character.
The second sentence gave the child a gender, which made him very depressed and hit his confidence in being a good child.
Sixth, let him do it.
Let the child do what he can as early as possible, and he will be more active in the future.
Don't do too much for children, speak for children and make decisions for children. You can think about it before you get involved. Maybe the child can do it himself.
Don't say, "You can't, you can't!" "
Let the children "try something new". Sometimes adults forbid children to do something just because "he didn't do it".
If things are not dangerous, let the children try.
Seventh, let children open their hearts.
Communicating with people is a kind of ability, and it is also a kind of ability to speak the truth. A 65,438+04-year-old boy needs the correct guidance of his father. He will speak his mind in a positive and timely manner and avoid doing something dark. If he doesn't control and avoid it in time, he will continue to be more terrible.
Happiness is the ability to show him the positive side of life. For bad things, you can also face them positively.
Say more positive words: "We are really happy together, aren't we?" "We are so lucky!" "Don't be sad, we will do better next time."
Before the child is 8 years old, if there is no sunny, happy and correct mother, then the child will show his mother's shadow on himself when he is 12 years old.
Therefore, at this time, don't think that children are just children and fickle, let alone think that they will be better when they grow up. In fact, darkness has seriously appeared in this family. If they are not stopped and guided, they will only become more serious and horrible when they grow up.
Eighth, emphasize what you get and know how to love.
Affection and friendship, sensory enjoyment, strengthen these "gains" and let him know that he is enjoying it when he is enjoying it.
Strengthen his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is precious.
He must know that these relatives should not and need not be kind to him. No one in this world owes anyone. It is an adult's responsibility to give him love, and he should know how to be grateful.
They will be parents in the future.
There is no rest in this world. He must understand that what his parents gave him was not necessities, not habits, but love.