I don't know that such education will only make children more rebellious. If the "south wind effect" is used, it is easy to make children more sensible and parents more at ease.
1
situation
A friend's child 10 years old. Usually, I always like to be naughty and don't obey when I eat. I always like to leave half the food. The neighbors have educated the children many times, but it is useless. So I discussed the problem with my neighbors. Ask me, if the child is disobedient, should we use strict measures or gentle methods?
So I suggested that she try to educate her children with the "south wind effect" to make them accept her opinions more easily. The next day, my neighbor came home from work and saw the old man chasing the children to feed. And the children are running around the house, with no idea of eating well at all.
At this time, the neighbor didn't get angry, but stopped the child, sat him at the table and said to the child, "Mom can understand that you like to play, but you can't run around while eating." Look how tired your grandparents are chasing you. Do you think you are right? "
The child looked up at his exhausted grandparents and felt ashamed and apologized to them. After that, the boy stopped being naughty.
2
Yelling won't solve the problem.
(1) Make children feel inferior.
Some children are born weak and pay special attention to their parents' evaluation. When parents intentionally use some radical language to hurt their children and force them to agree with their own views, children will suffer great psychological harm. In the long run, children tend to become passive and introverted.
They will think that they really don't have any advantages and abilities as their parents say, so they dare not take the initiative to challenge anything.
2 tend to be extreme.
Some children will become more extreme under the long-term "reprimand" of their parents. When they communicate with their parents, they are prone to disputes when they disagree. When communicating with people outside, you may also have conflicts with people because of your bad temper, and even have violent behavior.
Therefore, parents must pay attention to their own education methods and don't use "yelling" to solve problems.
③ Unwilling to change.
Some children are hard to eat, hard to eat and hard to change. Even if they do something wrong, they will only think they are right and blame others for their mistakes, so yelling will only make children more unreasonable and may cause even greater disasters.
Yelling is not the only way to solve the problem, nor is it the right way, which is harmful to children. Instead of hitting their children like this, parents should try to understand the south wind effect and fundamentally change their children.
three
"South wind effect"? What's the impact?
The so-called "south wind effect" theory is actually closely related to our daily life. As we all know, due to environmental reasons, there are some differences in temperature between the north and the south.
The north wind is usually very cold, which makes people have to wrap their clothes to keep warm, while the south wind is warm and soft, so people will take off their heavy clothes under the south wind. This situation shows that it is easier to compromise in a gentle way than in a strict way, which is the "south wind effect" theory.
① Enhance parent-child relationship.
Once children feel the unfriendly attitude of their parents, they will label their parents as difficult to get along with, which will be printed in their hearts and difficult to remove. Everyone likes to be treated gently. Parents' correct application of the "south wind effect" can make children feel the love and care from their parents, thus obtaining great comfort. In this way, children are more willing to get along and communicate with their parents, thus opening their hearts to their parents.
2 it is easier to correct mistakes.
When a child makes a mistake, parents communicate with the child in a gentle tone, which will let the child down his guard and trust you more. At this time, children are more likely to listen to their parents' suggestions and education and actively correct their mistakes.
3 learn to respect.
Respect is mutual. If you respect your children, they will respect you. Children also have dignity. If parents vent their emotions blindly and yell at their children when they make mistakes, they will think that you have violated their dignity and thus neglected your education. With the "south wind effect", children feel respect from their parents' words and deeds, and parents and children can communicate better.
Shouting education will only make the distance between children and parents farther and farther. Parents should be patient with their children and less impatient. Let children feel the love of their families with the "south wind effect", let them grow up in communication and learn to care and love.
four
Learning the "south wind effect" makes parent-child communication easier.
(1) tolerate children's mistakes
Parents should not rush to blame their children when they make mistakes. Instead, they should first learn to tolerate their children's mistakes. When children make serious mistakes, they often know the seriousness of the matter.
At this time, the child's heart is also very remorseful and knows that he has done something wrong. Parents can ease their children's emotions first, don't talk about their right and wrong, let them take the initiative to take responsibility and help them apologize.
② Rational analysis error
When parents and children deal with their children's mistakes together, they can move on to the next step. Parents can guide their children to review the cause, process and consequences of the whole thing and try to make them reflect on their mistakes.
If children are still unwilling to admit their mistakes, parents can analyze them rationally, list their mistakes calmly and give them reasonable suggestions.
3 encourage children to change.
After the child clearly realized his mistake, both parents and children reached a certain consensus. At this time, parents should encourage their children to make changes, give them some ideas for change, and adopt some reward mechanisms to let them persistently correct their mistakes.