This is the description from birth to three years old in the book. There are charts in the book, and the dividing point of children's ability development appears in about 8 months.
Based on the identity of the author Burton L. White as the head of Harvard preschool program, this book is very authoritative.
Moreover, at the stage of 8 months ago, the author always added intimately: even if parents do not provide a rich parenting environment for their babies, their skills will develop healthily. Eight months later, this sentence disappeared, and the influence of parents suddenly became important.
It is conceivable that when I read this sentence, I immediately felt the burden on my shoulders was extremely heavy.
Sugar balls have just entered the age of 8 months. As his main caregiver, it is no exaggeration to say that whether he can live a happy life in the future depends largely on me.
I was pushed to this position by history. How can I bear this responsibility? I have read this chapter several times.
There are two stages from 8 months to 2 years old: 8 months to 14 months and 14 months to 24 months. Let's discuss the first stage today, and I'm afraid the second stage will be discussed after half a year.
Babies aged 8 to 14 months have three main interests besides physical needs: being the main caregiver, exploring the world, practicing new sports skills and having fun.
Feldman's book Child Development Psychology says that babies also interact with each other. When they see each other, they will smile and make a sound.
I went out for a walk with sugar balls. If I meet a baby about his age, he sometimes reaches out to touch each other and smiles, but that's all.
Babies' social interaction is mainly concentrated with their parents, and because of this, parents have a great influence on them at this stage.
Psychologist Eriksson believes that from 0 to 18 months, the challenge that babies face is "trust or distrust". Parents' satisfaction of their baby's physical and emotional needs makes the baby feel trust and full of hope in the world.
From the interaction with their parents, they learned that "I am an important person in my mother's eyes", "My mother is gentle and friendly" and "I can climb the sofa, but I can't climb the windowsill". All these cognitions and norms have become the background of his communication with the world.
So what are we going to do?
First of all, be a supporter of the baby.
From the time the baby crawls, they will be curious to explore every corner of the house, but this is not a one-man show for the baby.
They will turn to their mothers for help when they encounter obstacles, seek praise when they are proud and seek comfort when they are frustrated. Every time they look at us, it is an opportunity for us to pass on love and education.
"I licked my forehead and it hurt a little. My mother rubbed it and my mother hugged it. " Give him comfort, make the baby feel warm, allow him to cry in his mother's arms and accept his emotions. When he recovered, he was able to explore again.
Do you want to help your baby? This problem is a little more complicated. If we help him complete all the tasks, will he become dependent? If we don't help at all, he will be isolated and unable to learn to ask for help when he can't solve the problem.
Fortunately, the book gives a criterion: whether this task is really beyond his ability.
If the answer is yes, of course we should help. Mom and dad will always be the children's backing. If the answer is no, we should encourage him to finish it by himself. How to encourage? Maybe it can be like this: "Try it yourself, and your mother will accompany you." "No? Come on, let's do it together. "
Second, be a baby's playmate.
The activities around mom and dad are the main theme of the baby. There are always so many moments in a day that need to be completely between parents and children. During this period, emotional connection and the flow of love are needed.
The parent-child game is perfect.
I didn't do well enough before. When Sugar Ball chewed the toy intently for a while and crawled over to me for a hug, I often hugged him and took him to other places to explore, lacking the game of face-to-face and eye contact.
These two days, whenever he asks me for a hug, I always give him a hug first, and then play interactive games with him for a while. He smiled happily. This way of emotional charging should be better.
As the baby grows up, there will be more and more parent-child games to play, which will become more and more interesting, and parents can also find their childlike innocence by the way.
Parent-child reading is also an excellent choice. Pay attention to choose a picture book suitable for your baby's age.
A typical 14-month-old baby can only understand about 36 words and some simple expressions, and a picture book with only one or several daily things per page will be more suitable. They still don't understand story picture books.
So, how to prevent the baby from relying too much on mom and dad? After all, both sides need time alone. In my opinion, the first thing is to enrich the parenting environment, including the family environment and the outdoors, so as to keep his exploration fresh and interesting. Second, the exploration activities in daily life are the main ones, followed by parent-child activities. After all, they will definitely come to their parents.
Third, become an authority in life.
According to Feldman's child development psychology, research shows that children of authoritative parents develop best.
Everyone eventually lives in a group, and babies must learn to obey the rules from an early age.
So where is the boundary? There is a saying that is well summed up: don't hurt yourself, don't disturb others. Above this bottom line, it is all freedom.
What parents need to pay attention to is that once they say "no", they must be firm. The gesture of "talking casually" will soon be seen through by smart babies.
I still have some views on "establishing rules". I think the fewer restrictions on family environment, the better. The best way for those things that can't be touched is to put them away. On the one hand, adults under guardianship are not tired, on the other hand, the less chance we have to say "no", the heavier its weight.
Game pens are found in many families, but they are the object of opposition in the book. Babies will soon get bored in the fence. Allowing them to crawl around the house is the most recommended.
Sugar balls are not skilled at crawling, so we stick anti-collision strips on the corners of furniture and walls, all sockets are sealed, and dangerous things are placed in high places.
In the lower drawer, put a hand-pinch-proof thing so that he can open it at any time and turn it around at any time.
When I was a child, I lived in my grandmother's house. There is usually a kang cabinet on the old kang in the north. I like to rummage through several drawers of the kang cabinet, then climb the kang cabinet and turn over the top of the high cabinet next to it. I always feel that these places have hidden treasures.
Compared with toys, the most everyday corner of the house is more attractive. I hope that children with sugar balls can have this kind of happiness in their own homes.
From birth to 3 years old, it is said that children who have the opportunity to explore the world and can get encouragement and help from adults are more likely to acquire the ability to learn.
For example, the baby at this stage can't draw, but can play with paper and strokes. Babies at this stage can't build blocks yet, but they will observe the falling or rolling of objects, which is the basis for their future creation.
Then, we should arrange as many things as possible that are safe for them at home. Books, paper, packing boxes, and all kinds of daily necessities can be used.
Outside, there is a bigger world to explore. Climbing on the grass, going up and down the stairs, touching all kinds of trees and sand are full of fun.
However, these activities that your baby can experience as long as you allow them are extremely challenging for parents, because each activity means a lot of extra housework.
Once, Miss Zhou and I were walking in the community with sugar balls. A little girl ran towards a small puddle next to us with cheerful steps, and her whole body was filled with excitement. Just as she stepped into the puddle, a pair of big hands carried her away. She was the grandmother who came at high speed.
I told Mr. Zhou at that time that I would allow sugar balls to step on puddles in the future, and I would go home to wash clothes when it was dirty. The fun of childhood is the most important thing.
However, when I saw the sugar ball crush a strawberry and the juice flowed to the cuff, I instinctively grabbed the strawberry and quickly wiped off the juice. You see, it's easier said than done, and whether you can do it or not depends on what your real firm belief is.
At present, my mother-in-law is helping me with housework. She always washes candy ball clothes by hand. I always feel that there are troubles in my heart, and she should have a relaxed life. If I let the sugar balls stain my clothes, it will definitely increase her workload.
Can I overcome my anxiety for the happiness of sugar balls? This is my homework.
Parenting is also cultivating yourself. I hope I can be brave on the road of building a stronger myself.
There seems to be nothing to say about this. Babies will naturally develop various motor skills and practice tirelessly.
There are two places to pay attention to.
One is individual differences.
Sugar balls are not active in practicing sports skills. He didn't like lying down since he was a child. When he started to turn over, he could only turn from his back to his side. We guided him to do prone exercises, but he ignored us and didn't turn over until almost seven months later.
However, he didn't wake up at night because he turned over in the middle of the night. One day, he suddenly fell asleep on his side. I was particularly surprised, as if he would fall asleep in an instant. He doesn't seem to like doing uncertain things. He needs to be fully prepared, and once he does, he will do it well.
Later, crawling was the same. We asked him to practice crawling, and he whined and turned back or in circles, reluctantly. Suddenly one day, he climbed a long distance silently.
Therefore, there may be many babies who like to practice hard, but children who like sugar balls may wish to give him more patience and let him control his own process.
The second is the test of parents' physical strength and patience.
Babies in crawling period and learning period will like to climb stairs and climb. In order to ensure their safety, parents definitely need to be with them all the time. Please be mentally prepared.
Please be considerate if the elderly take care of the children. Their physical strength is insufficient, and the satisfaction of the baby's needs must be discounted.
The above is my current thinking about the 8- 14-month-old baby, and it is also my parenting plan for the next six months.
I'm sure I'll read this part from birth to 3 years old several times, and I'll find similar books to read together. Maybe I'll have new ideas.
Then I will share my daily practice. Welcome everyone to discuss together. I look forward to hearing constructive voices.