There are many arguments, and the most impressive ones are four viewpoints:
Tell the elders in an appropriate way;
Try to avoid confrontation;
It's no big deal, you should know how to bear hardships;
Call back.
Let's look at a real case: a mother takes her daughter to an amusement park. The playground on weekends is like a huge bathhouse. Everyone cares about each other, and there seems to be no intersection.
Girls like going to the playground very much. At the age of three, where there are many children, it seems that there is always a small world of its own. Suddenly, a boy rushed over, grabbed the toy from the girl and hit her face with his hand. That slap was hard, because the girl's face suddenly passed. The girl did not cry. She is more decisive and direct than her mother. She reached out and hit the little boy on the arm. The boy began to cry, and the girl stood with her mother. Girls will still be timid and always want to be with their mothers. But she knows that her mother never criticizes her at will, and she needs to take responsibility for making mistakes. The girl thinks that she is not the main fault party.
The boy was lying on the ground, and the girl and mother stood by. At this moment, the boy's mother ran over, hugged her son and said, "Did my sister hit you? Did my sister hit you? " Boys will naturally forget the person who reached out and hit me first, and will only say "Sister hit me". His mother squinted at the girl's mother and said, "You have to make your daughter apologize." And she doesn't seem to see that the girl's face has her son's shallow palm prints.
The girl's mother was not angry, but told the boy's mother the whole story:
Your son hit my daughter first and then hit her in the face. The toy in your son's hand was taken from my daughter's.
My daughter still has your son's handprint on her face. You can take a closer look.
If your son apologizes to my daughter, my daughter can apologize to your son.
The boy's mother listened to the whole process, glanced at the girl's mother and left with her son in her arms. Every child's appearance is the upbringing of his family. At this point, a child's tutor is undoubtedly exposed. Seeing the boy leave, the girl looked happy and hugged her mother. I can see that the girl likes the way her mother handles it.
Over the years, we have seen a lot of news about school bullying:
On the afternoon of June 65438+1October 18, those who won the title of "Three Good Students" in Guangzhou, the second prize of "Hard Pen Calligraphy" in Guangzhou, and the second prize of Guangzhou's essay writing, committed suicide when they were in China.
On the morning of May 2 1, students from Pingjiang No.11 Middle School 149 had a small conflict with Wu. After learning the situation, Luo Xx and others climbed over the fence and entered the school at 2 pm. They bullied Wu with others at school, and were photographed by onlookers with their mobile phones and uploaded to the Internet. This has had an immeasurable impact on Wu's physical and mental health.
In fact, all the clues of a child's personality can be traced back to childhood.
Catherine Kelly Lane once said: Why are childhood memories so vivid? That's because they are the first life experience with special flavor.
What a person looks like when he grows up is more or less the accumulation of many moments in childhood. This gorgeous robe is full of the ticking of time. They cling to it and can't get rid of it.
Not hurting people is an education, and not being hurt by others is an aura. And this, perhaps from the beginning of the child facing the world, began to need to let TA know.
Some people may wonder: in the above case, why didn't the girl's mother hold her when she saw her child being beaten by others? Because the mother believes in the child's judgment, and facts have proved that there is always a clear distinction between love and hate in the child's mind. TA people are full of affection for people who love TA and will fight back against those who hurt TA. This is the most precious corner of people at first.
Forbearance to others' injuries, even the educational method of returning good for evil, may make children gradually lose their initial judgment on the likes and dislikes of the world, and let the injured know that they can't hurt at will. It's actually an instinct.
1. Teach children to protect their rights and express their willingness to protect themselves.
"No, it's not."
"You hit people wrong!"
"This is my stuff, give it back to me!"
Whether it is your own consciousness, body or object, these resolute defenses against your own strength will let the other party know that you are not a soft persimmon that others can pinch.
Because many children are tempted to hit people at first, you don't resist, you only know how to cry, and he goes too far. He will slowly cross the range of normal interpersonal relationships to grab the rights that originally belonged to you.
Safeguarding one's rights and interests is a very important part of children's interpersonal communication, because it means one's bottom line. Kill others' bullying in temptation.
2. Teach children the ability and skills to protect themselves.
A father went to watch his daughter rehearse ballet with great interest, but he was surprised to find that a little girl stepped on her daughter with a bad smile and then pushed her to the ground.
At this time, the teacher turned around and just reminded her daughter to stand firm. Her daughter was very wronged. The pushing little girl responded with provocative eyes.
On the way home, dad chatted with his daughter and was surprised to ask her why she didn't fight back after learning that her daughter was often beaten. But I got an unexpected answer. The daughter said, "Because you won't let me."
The daughter said, "What you said should be solved through communication." Dad was too shocked to speak. Then teach the children: "If you encounter such a problem again, you must fight violence with violence!" ?
When Li Meijin, a criminal psychologist, was a guest in Let's Speak, he told everyone to strengthen their physique, do physical exercise and not push them down.
Of course, this varies from person to person, and some people are just thin. But you can't beat it, and you can't let others bully you. Even if you drag the other person to roll in the mud, you should make the other person feel miserable and dare not bully yourself again.
3. Accept children's instinctive reaction to follow them.
If the child calls back, we don't have to pretend to say "no". Because this is the way he chooses to protect himself. What we want to talk about is discretion. Even if we fight back, we can't fight.
When the child didn't fight back, what we need to know is the reason why he didn't fight back. Don't think it's useless for him to lose, but accept his emotions.
Why do you say this is important? Because this kind of empathy will make children confident, and their choices will be understood and supported by their parents.
On this basis, children will gradually develop their own aura: I don't like to start work, it doesn't mean that I will be bullied at will. Even if you are better than me, I am not afraid of you! It is important for children to strengthen this awareness.
So:
Son, if someone hits you, you should respect the first will of spirit and body and resist without fear;
Son, if someone hits you, you must put on your armor and let them have nowhere to attack;
Son, if someone hits you, you must also pay attention to the discretion, so as not to let people succeed, but also not to hurt people too much.
Not an inch, not a penny. The world has always been latitude and longitude, and it will not shrink because of your forbearance, nor will it expand because of your toughness. The best way to let you know how to be comfortable is to be soft and principled, and to wear armor with temperature.
Child, be a brave and warm child, don't be so warm as to burn yourself, and don't be so cold as to freeze your body. If someone hits you, fight back bravely in your own way. The more times you fight back, the smoother your future will be.
No one can take care of you all your life, but you should learn to love yourself from now on.
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