The highest state of education is intentional, but without trace. I read this book when I was born, and it felt like a parenting coach's book, so I put it aside. Until today, I listened to it twice, and it really landed. It was practical and I learned it immediately. Children are independent individuals, children are not our accessories, they are part of this society, no matter what happens in the process of educating children, we should look at the problem with an equal eye. As far as individual education is concerned, there is no need for standard educational methods, but only methods suitable for children's characteristics. For the whole education, there is a common educational law. That is to start from the foundation and start from the "heart". . . .

Heart: concern for children is the first, which is fundamental; Technology is just a tool to improve efficiency.

Children should be "cared for" sincerely, not "spoiled".

Children should be strict "demanding" rather than "demanding".

Children should be treated with equal "respect" rather than "attention"

One more thing, parents are always the most important coaches for children. The subtle influence of parents is the biggest influence on children, and teaching is greater than teaching; This is the biggest stress of being a parent.

Yin Jianli, the author of A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher, holds a master's degree in education. This book shows us the parenting process of an education expert in 16, and reveals how a careful mother trained her daughter to be an excellent student who advanced placement and was easily admitted to a prestigious school. The case narrative is vivid and detailed, the principle analysis is professional and thorough, and the method summary is clear and organized. It is an easy-to-understand and easy-to-operate family education manual. I will explain the core point of this book from four aspects:

First of all, love is a responsibility:

? In real life, teachers often regard pointing out students' shortcomings or deficiencies in time as education of love, and cannot respect personalized teaching. At the same time, it ignores that the effects produced by different methods are also very different. The "Newtonian Criticism" recommended by Mr. Yin Jianli is undoubtedly a good method, that is, to let children know where they are wrong without hurting their self-esteem, and at the same time, it also implies their understanding of him and even hides their praise for some kind of talent. I think this is actually the "four sweet" education method, which all teachers know, but it is not so easy to do. Many teachers are more passive because of the wrong methods, which not only has no educational effect, but also has the opposite effect. Therefore, teachers should first overcome their impatience, have enough respect and trust for students, stand in the position of children, give children more space, and grow up by constantly making mistakes.

Second, extracurricular reading is the "magic wand" of learning ability;

? Taking the growth story of four children as an example, the author quotes the famous words of Suhomlinski, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, and expounds in detail the magical power of "magic wand", that is, children who read a lot after class from childhood have strong learning ability and great potential; On the contrary, children who study less after class will gradually fall behind even if their academic performance is good. I quite agree with you. Combined with my own educational practice, I found that some students with good grades read more books after class and their grades are getting better and better; And some students with poor grades spend a lot of time on their homework every day and have no time to take care of extracurricular reading, which leads to a vicious circle; In addition, some students have average grades and can never be promoted. I found that the main reason is actually that the amount of extracurricular reading is small and narrow, and most of the time is spent playing games, so people become impetuous, careless in their studies, and it is difficult to get grades. To this end, I applied this concept to the management of class teachers, talked with students, guided students' interest in reading, learned to distinguish between "good reading" and "bad reading", and recommended some books that interested them according to their original reading situation, and achieved good results.

Third, violent homework is an "educational accident":

? The author calls invalid or negative homework, such as a lot of homework with punitive and malicious evaluation, homework that makes children miserable and damages students' interest in learning and willpower, and points out that violent homework is an "educational accident". Indeed, many teachers now, in pursuit of exam results, often punish students for correcting their homework hundreds of times when they see something wrong. Sometimes, I see some students busy copying during recess or the second class. Imagine, can such homework interest students, or ensure that they won't make mistakes on this issue next time? In fact, the teacher himself knows very well that the effect is not good, and I think it is a kind of destruction to the students' body and mind. In fact, as long as teachers think hard, they can always find some more scientific methods. Therefore, the author puts forward that "putting an end to different degrees of violent labor is the most important behavior to reduce the burden". And cherish, parents should give their children more guidance on values and tell them the right way.

Fourth, the families of happy children are all "five-star hotels"

The family atmosphere created by parents with their own companionship and correct education methods makes the home a "five-star hotel", and children's happiness will be full, which is also the source of their life strength.

1, no matter how hard it is, parents should take their children with them.

When her daughter was young, Yin Jianli had to take care of the children alone, and the old people at home could not come to help. Just like Yin Jianli, there are all kinds of troubles and discomforts in housework, work and taking care of children. At that time, Yin Jianli's blood pressure was so low that the doctor forced her to stay in bed, but she still did a lot of work.

2. "Achievement record" makes families happier.

Children, like adults, need affirmation, especially when they have not formed reflective consciousness and control ability, and are more likely to be hinted. Therefore, Yin Jianli specially prepared a small notebook for her daughter at home, called "Notebook", which only records "good things" and does not record "bad things" and things related to academic performance.

3. See the world from a child's point of view

Really rational parents are capable of understanding their children. Yin Jianli used another word to express this view: be an "obedient" parent and meet the reasonable demands of children. The world of children is different from that of adults. They have their own code of conduct. Many seemingly absurd or even wrong behaviors are actually manifestations of children's nature and behaviors of exploring the world.

The mental method of educating children is parents' words and deeds, which is intentional without trace. This book not only tells us how to improve children's grades, but also tells us how to teach children to be human beings and how to cultivate a self-conscious, self-reliant and self-reliant child.