A 4-year-old boy is eating a popsicle. His mother has been urging the children to eat quickly since she saw the sugar water flowing downwards. The child was very angry and turned his head to one side to let the sugar flow on the ground. Finally, the mother was anxious, and the child simply stopped eating. He threw the popsicle angrily and ran to find his mother, crying and talking. At this time, my mother was very helpless. The child cried anxiously and raised her hand for a long time, but she was still very angry and shouted at the child, "I will kick you to death and leave me alone." Then I wanted to leave, but the child clung to his mother's leg, so it was deadlocked until his grandfather came and took the child away.
Such a scene should be familiar to everyone.
In our life, we see children beating and scolding their elders. As a person, they can't stand it, but their parents are "forbearing".
First, parents' "forbearance" makes children develop habits that are difficult to correct.
For children, unhappiness and unhappiness are often not expressed in words. But children also have emotions! Crying, making noise, hitting people and swearing have become the way for children to vent their emotions.
As educators, parents not only need to demonstrate their behavior, but also need to convey their educational will in an appropriate way to achieve educational results.
If we treat our parents in the wrong way for the first time, what we have to do is to stop it in time and let the children know what kind of way to treat their parents is acceptable to them.
If parents "endure", they will let their children think that they can vent their emotions by beating and cursing others. Long-term behavior is bound to form habits. Once a child forms a habit, it will leave a mark on the subconscious mind, and it is too difficult to correct it.
Second, parents' "forbearance" has cultivated their children's willfulness and left them with a lifetime of pain.
There is a story on the internet: a boy stole the toy he wanted without the boss's attention. Mom didn't say anything when she knew it, and she didn't return it with the children. Seeing her mother's acquiescence, the child stole something from time to time. Neighbors see things that are not very valuable. Besides, after looking for them twice, the mother defended her children and finally went away. Finally, one day, when the boy was stealing money from a rich family, he was caught by his master and arrested by the police. Because the amount involved was too large, he was finally sentenced to death. On his deathbed, the judge asked him what he wanted. The boy said he wanted to see his mother again.
Mother and son met and wept bitterly. Mother asked, "Son, what do you have to say?" The boy said, "Can I have your last sip of milk before I die?" The mother agreed to the child's request, but the boy bit off the mother's nipple. The boy asked his mother loudly with tears in his eyes, "Why do you spoil me?"
Parents' "forbearance" makes children lose their awe of life.
Be pregnant in October and give birth once. Mother can be said to have given birth to life with Xue Jing. I was expecting my children to achieve something in the future. I don't expect to worship my ancestors, but at least I can support the elderly. This is the basic demand of parents.
However, our choice of "tolerance" and satisfaction for children's requirements will only make it difficult for a person's desires to be realized, blindly taking and not knowing how to pay, so there is gratitude. From his point of view, I always thought that my parents should satisfy me when they brought me into this world.
According to relevant statistics, the proportion of neet people in China has accounted for 60% of families. Whether this data is true or not, we won't comment for the time being, but it is enough to show that the old people have accounted for a large part.
The existence of NEET is enough to show that there is something wrong with family education. Parents need to give them living expenses every month for getting married, buying a house and holding children. Even so, they are still tough on their parents, not directly losing their temper and causing conflicts.
Rousseau, a famous educator, said that children are impolite for two reasons: first, no one has ever told him what politeness is; Secondly, he was treated impolitely.
Zhang Xueyan, the founder of Academy Education, said: Criticism will only stop one behavior, but will not trigger another.
The reasons why children treat their parents by beating and cursing are as follows: first, your education method is simple and rude, and parents' emotions will not be expressed correctly. Second, you have never told your children how to express their emotions correctly and how to communicate with their parents better.
Third, parents' "forbearance" reflects that parents have a lot of negative energy such as cowardice, inferiority, guilt and fear.
The reason why children express their emotions by beating and scolding their parents lies in the cowardice of their parents, which reflects their deep inferiority complex.
The mother mentioned at the beginning of the article, the child has lived with her since childhood, but why do children under 4 years old use beatings? In fact, my mother has been in poor health since she was a child, and she is always afraid of affecting fetal development after pregnancy. She is on tenterhooks and cautious every day. Fortunately, everything went well, but after having children, I was always worried that the lack of milk would affect the growth of children. At the same time, my own personality is relatively weak, and my usual life can always be passed. If I'm unhappy, I mostly won't express it. Just make do. Children will also scold when they lose their temper, and then always regret sorry for their children. After having a boy at home, the whole family loves the child very much, which makes the child feel more superior.
Hawkinson energy scale can clearly see that shame is the lowest energy.
With the deepening of human cognition of energy, it is believed that energy has a great influence on a person, even a family and even society. Positive energy can bring people positive, sunny, brave, confident, peaceful and rich performance, while negative energy can make people show decadence, inferiority, irritability, pride, fear, worry, entanglement and so on.
Parents are the executors of family education and the guides of children's growth. Parents' energy status directly affects their children.
We are also parents for the first time. There are always many things we don't know and don't understand that need us to experience. The most important thing is to grow up in the process of experience.
Children come into this world like cute little animals. From ignorance to desire to explore, they need the constant guidance of their parents, but also the constant strength of their parents. But if parents don't grow and progress, how can they catch up with their children?
The pattern of parents determines the outcome of children, and the height of parents determines the height of children. As parents, it is not as simple as bringing our children into this world to carry on the family line, but to cultivate them into the people she likes and wants to be, which requires the wisdom of parents.
Parents study hard and children make progress every day!
Don't let our ignorance delay the growth of the next generation.