What is EQ education?
People have always regarded high IQ as the decisive factor of success, so most people pay attention to the education of children's intelligence. But in fact, in many successful cases, in addition to high IQ, they have other characteristics, such as strong self-awareness ability, strong control over their emotions, and strong perseverance in achieving their goals. These non-intellectual qualities are emotional intelligence.
Why is EQ education important?
Many times, the role of high emotional intelligence is often far greater than that of high IQ. Especially in this pluralistic and communicative society, high EQ plays a very important role in promoting a person's success.
People with high EQ have strong self-emotional management ability, and they can encourage themselves to face adversity positively. In addition, they can look at problems from the perspective of others, take into account other people's emotions, and thus obtain good interpersonal relationships. These qualities are important factors for a person's success, and childhood is the key stage of training, so emotional intelligence education in childhood is very important.
Emotional intelligence is a little high.
At present, IQ can be calculated through scientific tests, but there is no mature test method to evaluate EQ. At present, most people judge the EQ roughly according to their comprehensive performance. Scientists have found that people need to call the emotional and logical parts of the brain when doing normal actions. Therefore, a person with high emotional intelligence will use these two parts of the brain more rationally and will not be too emotional when dealing with things.
1. High EQ: These people respect the dignity, personality and human rights of others very much. Even if their values are different, they will not refute them excessively, let alone impose them on others. Moreover, this kind of person is self-aware, strong in pressure resistance, confident but not complacent. They are the darling of the social field, friends and colleagues can live in harmony, and all kinds of problems in life can be handled well.
2. Higher EQ: These people are always very optimistic and humorous, and can see things from the other side's perspective. They are confident but not complacent, have good interpersonal skills, are not afraid of hardships, have strong psychological endurance and can adapt to most environments and problems.
3. Low EQ: Compared with people with low EQ, they can forgive others' mistakes and have stronger control over their brains, and some mild anxiety or depression can be adjusted in time. But such people are easily influenced by others and have no clear goals. They need more attention from others. Once they are not recognized, their self-esteem will be damaged and their interpersonal relationships will often be poor.
4. Low EQ: These people have poor self-awareness, lack of self-confidence, no life goals and are unwilling to put them into action. I am very dependent on others, but I don't consider their feelings when I speak or do things. I am very emotional and angry. I basically have no ability to control my emotions. I like to complain when I encounter difficulties, and I like to find various reasons to shirk my responsibilities when I fail. I have a poor tolerance in my heart. If I get a little hit, I will feel depressed and cry, and I will always feel pessimistic and desperate about life.
Performance of high emotional intelligence
1. Strong self-control: It means that children can control or dominate their own behavior. For example, sometimes I will order myself to complete a task or stop myself from doing something.
2. Strong self-confidence: Strong self-confidence is one of the representative manifestations of high emotional intelligence, and it is also one of the necessary conditions for a person to succeed. Most children with high emotional intelligence are confident. They know where their direction is and believe that they can succeed with determination and perseverance.
3. Curiosity: Children with high emotional intelligence are also very curious and always want to explore the unknown.
4. Good popularity: Children with high emotional intelligence have good popularity because they are good at dealing with interpersonal relationships. They will care and care for other children, like to share their joy with others, and have little irritability and anxiety, so their popularity will often be good.
5. Strong sympathy: Most children with high emotional intelligence are sympathetic, because they will think from the perspective of others, so they can feel the same.
6. Good mood: Most children with high emotional intelligence are optimistic, always smiling and very enthusiastic and sincere.
Performance of low emotional intelligence
1. Like to complain
Most children with low emotional intelligence like to complain. However, complaining is not only ineffective, but also distracts people's attention, which is a very negative mentality. They are unwilling to observe things deeply and do nothing to change their predicament. Therefore, ordinary parents should not complain about things in front of their children, but should guide their children to think optimistically when they complain about things for the first time.
2. "Shunmao"
Children with low emotional intelligence are often "smooth hair", that is, things go with him and you can do whatever you want. On the contrary, what you say is useless. In fact, this is a performance that will not be judged according to facts and interests. It is easy to be led by the nose and used by people in the future, and it is easy to lose big because of small things.
Step 3 be more willful
Any child will have a wayward period. If parents don't guide him well at this time, children will become impulsive, irritable, unreasonable and angry. It is recommended to give some understanding when the child is willful, and at the same time communicate with the child and do some positive guidance. Never speak with a tough attitude, lest it backfire.
What are the misunderstandings in EQ education?
1. Spoiling and arranging family education
At present, many families still have the problem of doting and arranging education. This kind of family can give the most considerate care to children, but it often lacks some democratic consciousness. For example, if a child falls and hurts his knee, his mother may go up and blow and rub, and even "tears will come to her eyes." This kind of overindulgence will make children psychologically vulnerable. In addition, many parents will tell their children: this cannot be done, that is not allowed, this should be done, that should not be done, and so on. This kind of arranged education will make children lose their freedom and curiosity at this age, which is not conducive to the cultivation of children's good character.
2. Less encouragement and more beatings.
Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "a dutiful son comes out of a stick". Many parents still hold such a wrong concept of parenting and educate their children with corporal punishment. However, this kind of education is very unfavorable to the cultivation of children's emotional intelligence and must be corrected. Children who are not obedient also have flashlights. Parents should find their children's flashlights and enlarge them. At ordinary times, we should also affirm children's achievements and give them some encouragement.
3. Despise EQ education
This is because children who lack EQ education often have imperfect personality development, and they can't control their emotions. They will collapse when they encounter a little difficulty, and their mood will be low. It is difficult to get out of this mood. Therefore, parents should not only pay attention to their children's academic achievements and living standards, but also pay attention to the cultivation of their sense of responsibility, cooperation ability, stress resistance and social communication ability, so that such children can develop in an all-round way.
4. Underestimate the emotional intelligence level of children
Children also know a lot of things, so don't respond to children's EQ education with "what can children understand". Parents should cultivate their children's emotional thinking ability as soon as possible, and affirm some of their views, such as "Dad often stays up late to play cards, which is not good for his health" and "Mom is too fat and unhealthy to exercise". Including some words against ideas, this is also the performance of children's high emotional intelligence. At this time, the child's ability should not be stifled, but should be induced.
The correct method of emotional intelligence education
1. Always express your love.
If children's life is full of love, then their emotional intelligence will be high. Therefore, in daily life, we should communicate with our children more. The communication here is not only language, but also physical contact or eye contact.
2. Help children express their feelings
It is also extremely important to educate children and let them know the expression of emotions. Many times, children become angry because they are too young to control their emotions.
3. Help children build self-confidence
Most children with high emotional intelligence have strong self-confidence, so it is usually necessary to build their self-confidence. The common practice is to encourage children and affirm their words and deeds, so that children will gradually become confident.
Let the children decide for themselves.
After children go to primary school, they can make their own decisions about small things, so that children will gradually become independent.
5. Affirm the child's mood
When a child is angry, remember not to suppress his emotions at home, but to communicate with him calmly, ask him why he is angry and help him adjust.
Step 6 acknowledge their achievements
Always affirm children's intelligence. Don't say something like "Why did you do XXXXX? You are so stupid. " Otherwise, children will feel really stupid and lose their ability to accept.
7. Cultivate children's optimistic and positive attitude
Optimistic children prefer to look at things positively. And as long as they always face life with an optimistic attitude, then children will live a happy life.
8. Don't spoil too much
Don't spoil your child all the time, and avoid saying "you are not young, this is too much for me", so as not to hurt your child's self-confidence.
9. Cultivate children's interpersonal skills
Create some opportunities for children to get in touch with others, such as taking children to visit or inviting other children to play at home. The more contact with others, the more children will like to associate with others.
Parents should set an example.
Children's earliest learning goals are mom and dad, so parents must be strict with themselves, such as not swearing and not getting angry easily, because you are an example for children to learn.
1 1. Adhere to the consistent family education style.
Parents' love for their children should be rational and principled, not spoiled or partial. Let children know what is right and what is wrong. The requirements for children should also be consistent, and they should not be absent from time to time, otherwise parents will easily lose their prestige and children will not develop good habits.
12. Positive education based on positive affirmation
For children's education, we should give priority to positive affirmation, so that children will develop in the right direction. For example, encouragement can make children more enterprising, and parents' trust in their children can make them more enterprising. Reduce the criticism and accusation of children, because it will make children hate you and refuse to communicate with you.
The Best Age for EQ Education
3- 12 years old is the best period.
This is the best age for EQ education, and many countries have added EQ education to the education system of this age. Our experts also made a follow-up survey. They found that if a child receives EQ education during this period, his academic performance and interpersonal relationship will be better, their future work will be smooth, and their marriage will be happy. Therefore, if we attach importance to EQ education in childhood, then children's academic performance will not be bad, and their personality will develop in a confident and optimistic direction. It can be seen that EQ education is a huge wealth of life, which needs every parent to open for their children.