Nancy: It's natural-just like children are often angry with their parents. Because they are our closest relatives, we put our strongest feelings and ardent expectations on them, so we expect them to perform perfectly. Just when we don't care about someone, we will be more cautious. For example, if a neighbor or friend spills juice on your new sofa, you won't treat them like your own children. As the saying goes, "We always say the most unkind things to the people we care about most".
First of all, empathy
Think about whether you were like this when you were a child. Think more about children and communicate more. The contradiction between children and parents should be more because parents don't understand children. Only by figuring out what the child wants to do first can you guide him to achieve it in a suitable way and the problem can be really solved.
Second, when you are in a bad mood, please consciously stay away from your children.
Let yourself calm down, think clearly about "why am I angry and upset", and focus on solving the current problems instead of venting emotions blindly, so as to gradually cultivate your ability to perceive and control emotions and reduce the degree and frequency of losing your temper.
If you accidentally lose your temper with your child, when you calm down, think back about how the child angered you at that time, and objectively analyze whether the unpleasant feeling you just had was brought to you by your child or what you had, and what impact it had on yourself and your child. With more reflection like this, you can gradually learn to control your emotions, make future violent attacks slower and lighter, and be more calm when you encounter similar incidents in the future.
You can also bring your children to our walk. In addition to training their English, we also train them to learn actively in many aspects, and there are interactive links with them to make you feel the cuteness of your children.
Libu international children's education-not only English, but also children!
Why am I always angry with children? You have a bad temper …
Personality problems
This has nothing to do with kindness or not.
Character can gradually change to curse.
Every time I want to lose my temper, think about whether the child has made a serious mistake or lost a child. Anger can only make the problem worse.
Give yourself this hint every day and you will get better over time.
Don't worry, you should eat bite by bite.
Why am I always angry with children? (Transfer from required reading for parents) Author: Qiu Chen Before my son was born, I was the perfect father. The father of a 2-year-old child has an old saying: "After 10, the mother will become a witch." From getting up in the morning, I go to the toilet, eat, brush my teeth and play ... until night falls. After a hard day's work, I really hope the child can sleep well and give you a moment's peace. However, he is still losing his temper, throwing things around, or refusing to brush his teeth or wash his face ... I can't stand it. You are furious with him-but after the "war", self-blame makes you angry. Why can't I calm down? Nancy: It's natural-just like children are often angry with their parents. Because they are our closest relatives, we put our strongest feelings and ardent expectations on them, so we expect them to perform perfectly. Just when we don't care about someone, we will be more cautious. For example, if a neighbor or friend spills juice on your new sofa, you won't treat them like your own children. As the saying goes, "We always say the most unkind things to the people we care about most". In addition, if the people who make us angry are our bosses, customers, colleagues and other people who make you feel that you must be patient, we generally won't be angry with them directly, because the other party may "threaten" you. At this time, the safer and weaker children around us are likely to become the "export" of our anger. Nancy: Yes, I often ask parents to write "angry buttons" for their children to annoy them. They can easily say a long list, such as "My son is always shouting' Mom, Mom ...'" "In public, he can always embarrass me or lose my temper." "I'm exhausted after a busy day's work, but the children still don't want to sleep!" This is only a small part of the list. You might as well make a list for yourself. It would be better if you could share it with other parents. It will achieve a little catharsis. The reasons that make parents angry are usually very similar and trivial, and other parents will be angry about such a trivial matter as sesame and mung beans and be at a loss. In fact, as I said before, it is because I love children that I am angered by them in an instant. Crying and complaining, refusing to take a bath or sleep, and a messy room are typical triggers of parents' anger. It's trivial, but after these things accumulate, you will feel frustrated, guilty and out of control. Tip: the phenomenon of "broken biscuits" Nancy: think about it. We are born with a way to deal with anger. A mother once described her experience when shopping in a shopping mall. Her daughter kept screaming in front of the toy cupboard. Everyone looked at her and pointed at her ... she was so angry that she even wished she didn't want this daughter at that time! You see, "thinking" and "hoping" are not the same as "saying" and "doing". We should distinguish the bad or even sinful "feeling" aroused by anger from the real "behavior". Our goal is not to make the "feeling" brought by anger disappear. Actually, we can't do it either. What we should do is to admit the rationality of anger, but avoid taking irrational actions when we are angry. You need to find some ways to express yourself when you are angry, but it won't hurt, insult, belittle or irritate your child, nor will it trigger his revenge. Nancy: I'm against beating and scolding children, or any other behavior that hurts children. This will only teach children that when a giant is angry, he can hit a weaker side than himself. This is not good for children to learn to solve problems by non-violent means. What can really influence children and make them more friendly, responsible and moral is the intimate relationship between parents and him based on love and trust, not anger and pain. Most importantly, when you feel that you are losing control and hurting your child physically or verbally, let yourself "pause" and calm down. 1. Leave or wait. When you are angry, you must remember two important words "leave" and "wait". When our anger is about to get out of control, leaving or pausing can give us a chance to breathe, so that we will not get angry. American licensed psychotherapist, columnist of Parents magazine, The Dilemma of Love and Angry Parents Author Source: Parents Must Read No.4, 2009.
Why can't I always get angry with my children? I am a child, too. I think you should train him to do some housework and let him know something. Besides, there is something wrong with your communication. Being angry will only keep children away from you. Think about how to talk to children before you speak. Do you want to follow Mao's leadership? Many children have no ideals and motivation to pursue. You can say that you should try to make this family better, son.
There are two reasons why mothers are always angry with their children.
First, the mother has a bad temper, always thinking that the child's thoughts and behaviors are in line with his own wishes, but the result is not, so he is angry!
Second, mother has no position in the family, and always lives in her husband's family under the protection of others. She is too angry with her husband and mother-in-law and has nowhere to vent, so she is always angry with her children.
Why do you always want to get angry with children? In fact, when children are young, parents also spend a lot of time on their ideological education, especially when there is pressure in life, which may make them uncontrollable.
Why am I always angry? If you are angry, you can see Chinese medicine, hoping to help you.
Divert your attention and think about other things or interesting things. Try to restrain yourself, because it is yourself. No matter what others say, the only person who controls himself is himself. Try to adjust your mood, because the days will be long!
Why do I always lose my temper with my children? I understand your godson's anxiety. From the description, your baby is not big! You should know how to educate a smart, healthy and happy baby. First of all, it is definitely not possible to rely on violence, which is neither verbal violence nor behavioral violence. Even if you listen for a while, you will have more serious psychological problems in adolescence or adulthood. Second, you need to understand that children come according to certain laws of physical and mental development before the age of 6, including the development of children's self-awareness. If children are obedient and can't develop self-awareness, they may not be independent, passive and lack creativity when they grow up. Therefore, whether children's behavior is reasonable is not judged by adults' thinking, but by the law of human development. Third, loving children is not beating children or getting used to them, but an effective way of communication based on understanding.
For books about children's healthy development, you can see Sun Ruixue's Complete Love and Catching Children's Sensitive Period.
Besides, I'm a little worried about your relationship with the baby. If you learn the right parenting methods, you still can't control your behavior and emotions. Then it may be that the early communication mode between you and your parents is like this. This way of communication is unconscious in the subconscious, but it will appear when things happen. If this is the case, it needs to be adjusted through professional psychological counseling to avoid adverse effects on children's growth.
I wish you a happy New Year!
Psychological rain that will understand: huimingcz. /gtzx.asp？ CID=20