Children's initial understanding of the world originated from their parents, and the influence of family education is unforgettable. Ignorance of educational responsibility and bias of educational ideas naturally lead to mistakes in family education.
Most of our parents have no special training. No matter when we were young or when we grew up, we fell in love and got married. No matter at school or in society, few people told us how to be parents. Even if someone has said it, it may be the concept that "the dutiful son is beaten out of a stick" and "the enemy is defeated without fighting". Whether these concepts are right or not requires us to reflect.
As we all know, if you want to drive a vehicle, you need to study in a driving school for three months and pass a rigorous exam before you can get a driver's license. Parents may be able to "sail" on the family boat in less than three months. What's more, modern people who don't even bother to do premarital examination can't even go to professional training for three months, so they become parents in a muddle, and seem to completely ignore what brand their language, behavior and education will leave on their children.
Many parents often neglect their educational responsibilities. Because the focus of social attention is school education, parents pay more attention to school education, ignoring that they are the real educational foundation and the key to determining the fate of their children. As the saying goes: look at the old at three. Children's initial understanding of the world originated from their parents, and the influence of family education is unforgettable. Ignorance of educational responsibility and bias of educational ideas naturally lead to mistakes in family education.
Parents want their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed, which easily leads to the deviation of family education. Parents transfer their unfinished and unfulfilled things to their children. Parents' excessive care and care deprived children of room to grow up.
Excessive restrictions and interference will also hinder the release of children's potential. We often treat our children condescendingly, pretending to be "parents": "You were born to me, and I asked you to listen, but you didn't listen, so find a beating!" Such family education lacks "personality equality" (which is the fundamental spirit stipulated in the United Nations Charter for Children). How can children grow up healthily?
Miss two times to study together
It is said that parents are role models for children. Usually, the shadow of a warm and harmonious family can always be found behind the growth of excellent children into outstanding talents. Similarly, when a person forms an imperfect personality, factors full of conflicts and contradictions can also be found in the family.
When parents send their children to primary and secondary schools, they always like to say, "Teacher, this child is yours, please!" The subtext is "nothing to do with me". In fact, this is definitely not the case.
The hand that pushes the earth is the hand that pushes the cradle. A good family is often accompanied by the common growth of parents and children; Bad families often have a negative impact on children. Teaching by example is far greater than teaching by words. How much time parents have to study at home and how many books they have at home are all different. Without scholarly family, how can there be a scholarly campus and a scholarly society? How can parents expect their children to become Jackie Chan and Phoenix if they don't make progress?
In a learning family, parents and children grow up together and even influence each other. They often have some successful influence ways, such as parent-child reading, parent-child communication, telling growth stories and so on. The growth of parents, like the growth of children, is an endless process. The continuous progress and study of parents have an intangible and profound influence on children.
The third is the lack of moral education.
Life destroys people silently, just like a drop of water wears away a stone; Similarly, life makes people silent. Only by paying attention to the details and progress of life and becoming the master of life can we be achieved by life.
The most important task of family education is to build the Great Wall of Personality. But in life, judging people is often a handsome man who covers up all ugliness. High score, good grades, a good boy. In fact, among the factors that affect lifelong development, scores are not the most important. It is morality, personality, happiness, popularity and respect, not knowledge.
Little by little, it will lay a solid foundation for the sound development of personality. Many parents care too much about their studies. As long as they get good grades, they promise everything and are satisfied with everything. Low moral character is not taken seriously. Some children lie, take things from home or others, and are self-centered without considering other people's feelings. Such educational ideas and methods are worrying.
Children take things from home when they are young, but we let him know that the punishment for making such mistakes is far better than the failure of exams and studies, and let him know that parents don't pay much attention to grades, but they pay great attention to morality, which makes him a modest person. Therefore, parents should pay full attention to the cultivation of moral habits.
Life destroys people silently, just like a drop of water wears away a stone; Similarly, life makes people silent. Only by paying attention to the details and progress of life and becoming the master of life can we be achieved by life. There is a slogan in the new educational experiment: "The state is greater than the method, and the method is greater than the effort." The reality is just the opposite, that is, "effort is greater than method, and method is greater than state." In fact, the biggest gap between people is the state. With the state, there is a method. If you are in a state and you want to do something, you may succeed.
A scholar said that the gap between philosophers and ordinary workers is much smaller than that between wild dogs and domestic dogs. The gap between philosophers and workers is caused by the division of labor. The gap between people of the same type of work in a unit is caused by the state. Some people are very clever, but if he does nothing but complain, he will accomplish nothing. Therefore, the most important thing is the realm, not the mental method. Anything that helps to cultivate mental state should be done; Anyone who is helpless should do less or not.
Missed four years of childhood.
People often think that children nowadays have no childhood and no happiness. As long as you enter school, you will have no good life. Before entering kindergarten, parents had many dreams to let their children play the piano, draw pictures, sing and dance ... As soon as they entered the school and entered the examination circle, many parents quit the previous games. Of course, learning is not to give children happiness, but to place a lot of illusions. Gradually, the reality shattered their dreams, and by junior high school, those beautiful fantasy hobbies were cut off. The rest is "bitter". As the children say, "I got up the earliest, went to bed the latest, suffered the most, and was the most tired. I, I am still me."
Happiness is an experience, and enjoying the happiness of education is a realm of education. Ask the child if he is happy. The answer is no, but the first article of Confucius' Analects of Confucius says: learning from time to time is fun! Learning should be interesting. Why can't children learn in games, activities and play? Why is learning locked in the study? Our parents should pay attention to their children's psychological happiness index!
Lack of five kinds of recognition and trust
Appreciation leads to success, and complaining leads to failure. Let's start with boys and girls.
The toys we give girls are dolls and the like, while the toys for boys are often of various models and can be moved. It contains the meaning that we want girls to be gentle and quiet and boys to be brave and lively. The result of girls fighting will be a training: what if I am so crazy now? The result of boys fighting is appreciation: naughty children are smart. When children grow up, people say: girls can't go to middle school, but boys can.
You know, a lie becomes truth after being repeated a thousand times. Girls are hinted at "no" and boys are hinted at "yes", which makes them have different States. "Say you can do it, you can do it, or you can't; Say you can't, you can't, you can't. If you want your child to do it, you must cherish every opportunity for the child to grow up, appreciate the child's growth and appreciate the child's words and deeds; If you can't have children, complain and blame them
The potential of children is always greater than everything that has been achieved. Modern scientific research has long proved that human potential is enormous. Won't a disabled ship become a great conductor? Zhou Ting, a deaf-mute girl, grew up to be the high flyers of a famous American university, which is a masterpiece of her father Hong Chau's appreciation education. Let us believe in the potential of children's development infinitely!
Lost six things that belong to children.
The happiest thing for a person is to let himself like one thing, even if it is to grow flowers and raise small animals, so that his spare time and energy can be entrusted.
Parents must not neglect the cultivation of non-intelligence when cultivating their children's intelligence. They want the younger generation to have lofty goals, broad interests, warm feelings, strong will and independent personality.
The happiest thing for a person is to let himself like one thing, even if it is to grow flowers and raise small animals, so that his spare time and energy can be entrusted. Every child should have a hobby at home and at school. What is the best? Features. Now the score is the best, and everyone else is a loser.
In fact, children study too hard, and some knowledge will never be used. What is the value? Education should give children what they like, so that they can live a healthy and happy life even if they can't get into college or famous brands. Different children have different values. What is the value of graduate students who commit suicide in Fudan?
Many excellent talents, who have not received formal university education. But in the process of growing up, the kindness and diligence they learned far exceeded the harvest of the university.
Every child can have a different growth path, so that he likes the same things, which will affect the quality of life of children. Whether a person's spiritual life is happy or not is very important.
Lack of seven reading lifestyles
A person who studies may not be rich in life, but he may be rich in spirit. Spiritual pleasure is often more important than material things.
Reading is a very important way for children to purify their souls and sublimate their personality. For children's growth, the main task is reading. But nowadays students seldom read books except textbooks. Generally speaking, children who read a lot will have a broad vision, full spirit, lofty aspirations and persistent pursuit. A person's spiritual development history is the person's reading history.
Reading is the most important for people's growth. Those energetic nations in the world, such as Jews, must love reading. The three greatest figures in modern history all came from the Jewish nation: Marx changed people's view of society with materialist dialectics, Einstein established a brand-new view of the universe with relativity, and Freud used psychoanalysis to make people know themselves more accurately. Among the rich people in the world, 40% are Jews; Among the Nobel Prize winners, the largest number are Jews.
Their attitude towards reading is almost religious: as soon as a child is born, he paints the book with honey and lets the child lick it, which means that reading can be sweet. They are never allowed to step on books. Each of them reads 60 books a year, while the average level in China is only 5. A person who doesn't study can't go far. Whether he studies or not has nothing to do with whether he graduated from college. Books are real universities and paradise for spiritual growth.
Quiet can go further. A person who studies may not be rich in life, but he may be rich in spirit. Spiritual pleasure is often more important than material things.
The habit of missing eight diaries
Keeping a diary is a good habit.
By keeping a diary, children can summarize and deepen their thinking about their study and life; They can be trained to observe life, master language and improve their writing level. Can let children talk about their feelings and adjust their emotions; It can cultivate his independent personality and ability to handle things independently, exercise his will, broaden his mind and purify his mind. Not only children, teachers and parents can write, and there are many successful examples in this respect. Some even completely changed the state of a child, a parent and a school. Because if you want to write brilliantly, you must live brilliantly and do brilliantly.
It is a common fact that parents especially expect their children to be geniuses because they feel that they are not geniuses. A proposition must be right. As long as parents and children grow up together, although we are not geniuses, we can also become gifted parents.