The picture on the left is from my daughter's kindergarten. Parents can't stand addition and subtraction within 20, and another kindergarten on the right has learned addition and subtraction within 50.
Whether this kind of education is too radical or not, it is foreseeable that the children in the two kindergartens have different starting points, and this gap will gradually increase with time, accompanied by the whole education stage of the children.
In this debate, I am concerned about the different attitudes of the two parents. Some parents are complaining that the teacher's homework is too difficult and think that the children are too young to finish it. And some parents also realized the gap with others and began to have a sense of catching up.
As a mother of two children, I deeply feel the importance of the starting line. The eldest daughter pursued happy education when she was a child, thinking that primary school would make her have fun and her grades would be discussed in junior high school, so she only participated in art training from kindergarten to junior high school. As a result, in junior high school, I obviously couldn't keep up with my work and didn't have enough time to study. The pressure is very high.
Looking back now, it is entirely because I am lazy and unwilling to work hard. I did not fully understand the meaning of "happy education", which delayed my children's studies and hit their self-confidence.
After my little daughter was born, I consciously cultivated her advanced learning ability in the form of play. Now she is five years old, and she already knows pinyin and arithmetic. The most important thing is that she has no difficulty in studying and enjoys it.
In fact, there is a kind of pain that makes parents think you are suffering. Parents are unwilling to face work beyond their own cognition or time, and forcibly pass on their fears and resistance to their children.
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My friend Mei Zi, a full-time housewife, has two sons. The eldest son is in Grade Three and is about to prepare for the senior high school entrance examination.
Yesterday, she came to me and complained, "I am so angry. I paid a lot of money to choose a good school for him. Results I got 2 or 30 points in the joint entrance examination. I couldn't help beating him again yesterday. In this way, I can only mix a vocational school and be a worker in the future! "
I suggested that she find a place to train her children. She was even more angry that she didn't play: "I signed him up for several training courses, but after two days of classes, I didn't go because I couldn't understand them." Unfortunately, I have thousands of dollars! "
I asked her if she communicated well with the children. She said, "What is communication? It doesn't make sense. Forget it. Let him go. You don't know. I haven't been to the parent-teacher conference since he entered junior high school. Too embarrassed! "
I remember that before that, I had heard her say that he was stupid and could not learn anything in front of the children, and I had seen the eyes of the timid boy who kept his head down forever.
In my opinion, her son is not stupid, even quite clever. It's a pity that being scolded by her, being beaten by her, and being abandoned by her have become her least favorite appearance.
Li Yueer, an expert in education, once said, "In the process of a child's growth, we need something with high nutrition to satisfy him and let him get sunshine. This sunshine is not material, it must be spiritual, so that his soul can be appreciated and excavated. "
A child whose soul is illuminated must have a bright life. Children whose souls are not nourished are like withered trees, either stunted or facing death.
Some parents desperately want to choose good schools, good teachers and good training, but forget to be themselves.
02
Xiaoyu is a strong woman, so busy that she can't find the north all day. Sometimes she has to reply to documents even when she eats. But for the sake of her daughter's studies, she insisted on doing it herself.
No matter how busy she is, she will take time out to attend every parent-teacher meeting of her daughter. If the teacher has any comments on her daughter at the meeting, she will communicate with the teacher after the meeting to find out the crux of the problem.
When a daughter has any problems, she always thinks of her mother for the first time, because she knows that no matter what happens, her mother will always be on her side.
Generally, children enjoy their holidays at home, but Xiaoyu enrolled her daughter in several training classes and never let her be idle for a moment. Even the daughter is required to make a holiday study plan, and she must have 1 hour of reading time every day.
"I don't ask her to learn anything. I hope she can feel the joy of learning. The most important thing is that when dealing with strangers, she can clearly express her views without stage fright. "
Compared with IQ, which is generally valued, this kind of social ability, which is ignored by many parents, is the fundamental ability for children to create their own successful life.
Xiaoyu's education method is very effective. In learning, my daughter has a strong thirst for knowledge. In the process of interacting with all kinds of people, I am calm and calm, never get stage fright, and even put forward my own requirements in a targeted manner, which makes people sit up and take notice. When interacting with my peers, I am also happy to share information and win everyone's appreciation.
Children need "natural growth" and "cooperative training". They are like a seedling, and the correct love of their parents is the nutrient they need for growth.
Different definitions of "true love" have opened the distance between parents and children.
03
In many people's minds, elite education is the patent of the rich, and families like Xiaoyu who have the ability to send their children to several training classes do not account for much. I often hear parents say, "If I want money, I can teach my children well!" "
In fact, for children, a parent who is willing to provide companionship is far more important than a parent who is willing to provide material things.
This is Archie's circle of friends that basked in last year, from which we can see a proud father.
In fact, Archie can only be regarded as an ordinary person living in the middle and lower classes. Since childhood, I have been introverted, unsociable and have no bright spots in my career. Three years ago, he divorced and his son was his. During the period just after his divorce, he was depressed, lying at home drinking every day, unwilling to face his failed life.
One day, he opened his eyes from drunkenness and saw 12-year-old son crying. After waking up, my son sobbed and said, "Dad, is it because I don't like studying?" He suddenly felt very sad. It is obviously his own failure, but it puts pressure on the children.
After that day, he decided to set an example for his son and never let him repeat his failed life again.
He bought a lot of books for himself and his son and said to his son, "Son, from today on, we will study together, and Dad and you will get better and better!" " Father and son get into the pile of books and read their own books every day. They express the dependence and support between father and son in this way.
Later, when I saw Archie again, he had a new relationship and a new development in his career. What is even more proud is that my son was admitted to his favorite art high school with excellent cultural and professional achievements.
Sometimes, education is as simple as that, without bitterness, coercion or inducement. As long as children see their parents' earnest efforts and feel their parents' companionship and trust, they will naturally make themselves better.
04
I read a report that in a private school in Shanghai, admission depends on the size of parents, but fat parents can't, because being fat means poor self-management ability. Like parents, like sons, children will certainly not be much better.
This shows that even if you are rich and your parents are not qualified, your children will lose the opportunity to enter school. Modern education has reached the age of fighting for parents.
It has been said that what China needs most is not children, but parents. This sentence is very heartfelt!
When the children were young, everything in family of origin was full of sacred significance. Hard-working parents bring simple labor concepts to their children; Far-sighted parents bring infinite possibilities to their children; Vanity-loving parents make their children material slaves; Short-sighted parents let their children care about small profits.
Psychologist Adler pointed out that family education laid the foundation for children's cognition of society. No matter how much knowledge children learn in the future, the education they receive at home will be a deep-rooted determinant of their cognition and judgment of the world.
Why is it that your children are stubborn and rebellious, and they don't like learning, which always makes you hold your head up at the parent-teacher meeting, while other children are obedient and sensible, with excellent grades, and are born with the aura of learning hegemony?
This huge gap has nothing to do with teachers, schools and society, but comes from you who are eager for success. The way you educate your children determines the future of you and your children.
Because this is an era of fighting for parents.
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