I heard someone tell me that a mother beat her daughter when she was very young, because the mother's educational concept since childhood was that beating her child was the most effective way to discipline her child. But in fact, the former mother is also a naive child. Because she was educated by her parents since she was a child, she finally became the person she hated the most, and passed on this stupid way of education to the next generation. This shows that the damage caused by this kind of education is irreversible.
Studies have shown that children aged 2-6 are beaten because they are naughty; Children after the age of 6 are beaten for not studying hard. The reason that parents often hear when beating their children is "children are disobedient", but parents ignore the self-exploration ability that children need in the process of growing up.
I believe that many children have done some stupid things in infancy: watering flowers with hot water in cups, stepping on mud with beautiful shoes, and throwing mobile phones into the water ... Every time parents see their children doing such "evil" behavior, their inner anger will be ignited. But parents forget that this stage is the stage for children to try themselves. These things that are "wrong" in the eyes of parents are not wrong or right in the hearts of children. They just want to have a try because they are full of curiosity.
After four or five months, children will have their own ideology. As they get older, their sense of "self" will gradually increase and they will have their own style of doing things. When this style is contrary to what parents expect, there will be an "argument" between them, which is what parents say: the bigger it is, the more difficult it is to manage. When this happens, parents will have the idea of "fighting violence with violence". If communication fails, there will be a phenomenon of "beating and scolding" children. Facts have proved that beating and scolding children can't solve the problem, but will make the problem more anxious.
Beating and scolding is an extremely undesirable way of education in this society, and positive teaching is the best medicine for children. Positive teaching is a way of discipline that neither punishes nor condones children. Only in a friendly atmosphere can children cultivate a sense of responsibility and self-confidence, achieve excellent results in school, learn various survival skills in life and get all-round development.
When children make mistakes, parents can calm their children's emotions first, instead of criticizing them in a hurry. If you are very excited, you can temporarily divert your attention, then calm down and think about how to deal with the mistakes made by your child and how to educate your child, so that you won't directly beat and scold your child.
Parents should be patient when communicating with their children. Children should be given time to explain their mistakes instead of directly denying their practices. Everything children do must have their own reasons, and they will not make mistakes for no reason. Therefore, parents should understand their children's thoughts, which will also help parents better understand their children. If their children do something wrong, it is not too late for parents to educate and criticize them.
The last point, which is easily overlooked by parents every day, is to give respect to children. Some parents may think that their children don't know anything, but they just judge by their own ideas, but in fact, their children are already thoughtful adults. Parents need to respect their children's ideas in daily communication, give them enough thinking space and let them have their own unique ideas, which is also of great benefit to their future development.
Parents, please remember that when you choose to beat and scold your child, you choose the fastest and most violent way to solve the problem. Although it will stop the child from making mistakes, it may also leave a shadow on the child, so you must think twice before beating and scolding the child!