It is common that in the process of cultivating children's empathy, parents often just tell their children to stand in the position of others. However, the so-called "standing in the position of others" is a very abstract concept for young children. If parents can help their children and learn to observe other people's expressions and actions, such as looking around and stamping their feet, they may be anxious or nervous. Naturally, children can also learn to empathize with other people's feelings by guiding them to mark various emotions and feelings.
Mark emotions. Similarly, when others see other children crying in their daily lives, they sometimes find children giving comfort and patting each other. Psychologist Wang pointed out that for young children, because of their limited language ability, they feel each other's emotional ups and downs, but they take the initiative to care or appease. This is the performance of empathy. Generally speaking, children around the age of 2-3 will gradually develop empathy. At this stage, parents are advised to help their children mark their feelings as much as possible. For example, when a child cries because he can't find his parents, he can say to the child, "Are you crying because you didn't see your mother feel' scared'?" Helping children to mark the feeling of fear and share all kinds of feelings and emotions with children from life experiences is helpful to cultivate children's empathy.
In fact, each child shows different degrees of empathy due to natural temperament differences. Parents should respect and understand children's temperament differences and give the most appropriate help according to their individual needs. Basically, innate temperament can be divided into nine aspects, and the following explanations are related to empathy:
Further reading: Hold the baby correctly and safely, prevent hand injuries, and avoid "dad's hand", so it is more correct to hold the baby!
? Attention: Children who pay attention can observe the emotional behavior of others more carefully.
? Emotional essence: the essence of positive emotions means that children are stable and easy to feel the emotions of others; On the contrary, innate emotions are negative in nature, and it is difficult to pay attention to other people's emotions.
? Reaction threshold: refers to children's reaction performance when they are exposed to the outside world. For example, children with autism have a high response threshold, and they must have a large * * to respond, so they often cannot detect other people's emotions or behaviors.
? Regularity: Children with higher life patterns contribute to emotional stability.
? Reaction intensity: Some children are not good at expressing emotions, and their reaction intensity is low, so their emotions and needs are not easy to be detected.
? Avoidance: refers to children's attitude towards new people, things, things or situations. If children are full of curiosity and like to get along with others, it will help children practice their ability to read words and observe colors, and then cultivate their empathy ability; Children with poor avoidance are alienated and indifferent in interpersonal relationships, and relatively speaking, it is difficult to understand the feelings of others.
? Adaptability: children's adaptability to new things, and their adaptability will also affect their interaction with others.
Congenital temperament does affect the performance of children's empathy. If the child is emotionally stable, he has good concentration, avoidance and adaptability. They will have the ability to read words and observe emotions, and the development of empathy will mature earlier.
However, although the innate temperament affects the performance of empathy, the acquired family education is also an indispensable key element. Wang's psychologist stressed that if there is an understood experience in the child's growth process, it will help the development of empathy ability in the future. For example, when children cry because they can't eat ice cream, the most common reactions of parents are "I'll buy it for you next time" or "eating ice is not good for their health". Comfort the child in a reasonable way, but ignore the child's current feelings. If parents can stand in their children's shoes, such as "I know you are sad that you can't eat ice cream, but we will buy it tomorrow, ok?" It is also an invisible way to show empathy to children by trying to express their inner feelings for them and making them feel understood.
As the saying goes, "parents are the mirror of children, and children are the epitome of parents." Through the demonstration and encouragement of parents, children can best be promoted to practice awareness and empathy. However, when parents help their children describe their emotions, they always misunderstand their feelings, which easily leads to their dissatisfaction and tension in parent-child relationship. Parents should carefully observe their emotional performance.
Generally speaking, the more empathetic children are, the more they know how to help others. In addition, the cultivation of empathy can also make children have better social adaptability and interpersonal relationships, which is helpful for their future life development. How to cultivate children's empathy?
1. Discuss your emotions and feelings with your children. When children see their parents holding their young brothers or sisters, they will have jealous emotions and behaviors. At this time, if parents don't properly handle and appease them, they will always interpret them as children are angry, which may lead to children's confusion about the difference between jealousy and anger, leading to misuse of others' emotions in the future.
It is suggested that parents can discuss and communicate with their children from life to help them mark their emotions and feelings. The performance process of empathy should first have the ability to observe words and feelings, then interpret the emotions of the other party, and finally produce empathy behavior. Therefore, if parents often communicate with their children and express their emotions, naturally, children will also know how to identify various feelings and then understand other people's emotional behaviors.
2. Parents lead by example and become role models for their children. As the saying goes, "example is better than words." No matter how much truth is said, it is not as effective as parents' demonstration. Nowadays, many parents have become "low-headed people", spending most of their time playing mobile phones, ignoring the intimate interaction time between parents and children. When children need their parents' care, they are ignored, which will cause emotional ups and downs and anxiety to some extent. How to empathize with others when children are in an unstable state?
3. Interact from the game and learn from others. Some children have a strong sense of self-centeredness It is suggested that parents may wish to let their children learn to think from the standpoint of others through role-playing games. Psychologist Wang explained that role-playing games really help to cultivate empathy. For example, children and dolls play role-playing imaginary games, giving children the opportunity to change roles and practice expressing their feelings from the standpoint of others through dialogue between different roles.
In addition to imaginary games, parents can also use picture books to help their children mark their feelings. Suggest that they can choose the content of interpersonal communication, such as describing the anxiety of leaving home or the feeling of being separated from their parents. By telling stories, they can help children mark their feelings and cultivate empathy.
4. Let the children contact the crowd. Parents should let their children get in touch with the crowd and accumulate similar experiences from daily life, such as taking their children to the park to play. When children observe that other children are sad because they can't play with amusement facilities, parents can help them describe their feelings, such as "I think that child must feel very sad because he can't play with amusement facilities", so as to guide children to empathize with others' emotions through daily experience, so that children can encounter similar situations in the future. However, parents should help their children describe their feelings from an early age. After all, if the habit of sharing feelings with each other is not established as soon as possible, it will be more difficult to draw closer the relationship between parents and children when children grow up.
Cultivating empathy, three wrong practices empathy is not innate, originally formed through the interaction between parents and children and through continuous learning, so family education deeply affects the development of children's personality. What mistakes parents may make in educating their children?
1. Psychologists who take rewards as incentives emphasize that if parents often take material rewards as incentives, such as snacks and toys, it is easy for children to be short-sighted and only willing to do things that can benefit them, which is very unfavorable to their growth in the long run.
In fact, rewards are not all material satisfaction, but also words of affirmation, praise or encouragement. For children, the affirmation of behavior helps to strengthen the repetition of this behavior. Parents must give rewards in stages. At the beginning, they can give material rewards, gradually reduce each material reward and change it to praise and affirmation. Children can also gain a sense of participation and inner satisfaction in the process of helping others, thus truly empathizing with others from the heart.
(1) How to get the certificate of continuing education for the second-level constructor?
You only need t