Appreciation education is the premise of building children's self-confidence and encouraging their success. My family has always used the method of appreciation and encouragement to educate and guide children, so that she can correctly understand her achievements and shortcomings, build up self-confidence, overcome difficulties and finally reach the other side of success. Our family has specially set up a "success box" for children to record their success stories, collect their medals and certificates, and encourage children to establish self-confidence and dare to succeed.
Second, cultivate children's good study habits.
Habit is a relatively fixed behavior and tendency formed by people engaging in certain activities for a long time. Once this kind of behavior and tendency is formed, people will naturally do it, otherwise they will feel uncomfortable. Therefore, it is very important to help children develop good study habits. In the process of educating children, we should first pay attention to learning attitude and style, and often check whether children concentrate on reading, finish homework on time, write neatly, and persist in learning despite difficulties; Second, grasp the homework to see if the children consciously do their homework when they come home from school, whether to review before doing their homework, whether to check after finishing their homework, whether the mistakes and typos pointed out by the teacher are corrected, and whether the homework book is neat; Third, grasp the ability to see if children have the ability to review, preview, remember, think, write and calculate; Fourth, grasp the skills and skills to see if the child's homework format is correct, whether it is written well and quickly, whether the learning method is correct, and how the learning effect is.
Of course, to cultivate good study habits, we should also pay attention to the following problems: starting with "compulsion", being strict, patiently explaining, carefully observing and correcting at any time; Specific guidance, correct bad habits in learning bit by bit, and give full play to the advantages of imitation; Take advantage of the situation and encourage children to study consciously when they find out, so as to consolidate and gradually form habits; Constantly put forward new requirements, and timely check, urge, encourage and put forward requirements; Create learning conditions, let children study at their desks and create a quiet learning environment for children.
Third, do a good job of cooperation with teachers.
I feel that there is nothing more selfless than a teacher in the world! They always want to teach their students all their knowledge and never consider asking for anything in return. Sometimes, students whisper in class and don't listen carefully. As teachers, starting from the premise of being responsible for students, they severely criticized this. At this time, parents can't take an indifferent attitude. They should seize the opportunity to cooperate with the teacher to educate their children, sit down and talk to them calmly, communicate with them, find out the facts, and understand what mistakes the children have made and what their attitude is. They couldn't say one thing at school, but when they got home, their parents said another. If they criticize the teacher, the children will be puzzled for a while. Parents should not "push them to drink water", they can put it off again and again.
Fourth, cultivate children's sense of responsibility.
The sense of responsibility is the emotional experience that people produce after self-judging the social value brought by their words and deeds. When a person has a certain ability, he should be responsible for the corresponding things. Children tend to pay more attention to the process of behavior and less attention to the results of behavior. Therefore, to cultivate children's sense of responsibility, it is necessary to develop the habit of being responsible for the results of their actions. Conclude a responsibility contract, so that children can understand what to do and how to do it, otherwise they will be punished. Let children be proud of their sense of responsibility. Learn to be responsible for your own affairs. When children are asked to remember to do something, instead of being often reminded by adults, it is better for them to write down what they want to do and let them gradually learn to be responsible for their actions. Only when children learn to be responsible for their own affairs can they gradually become responsible for their families, others, the collective and society. Let children try to remedy the bad consequences caused by some of their actions. If children damage other people's toys, they must buy them back and return them to others. Perhaps the other party will think that the damaged toys are not much money, or that it is common for children to damage toys, or they are embarrassed to accept compensation from children. But parents should insist that their children compensate each other, so as to know who is responsible for the bad consequences. Of course, parents should set a good example for their children at home, "what they say must be done, and what they do must be done", so that they can have the prestige to ask their children to be responsible and let them have imitators.
Fifth, praise children artistically.
It is true that a good boy is praised. If you really want to praise your children, you can get the art of children-oriented and boasting. Praise children with a positive attitude. Praising children is not to meet some psychological needs of adults, but to cultivate children's good thoughts and behaviors. Some parents are busy with work during the day and housework after work. When they are busy and tired, they show impatience when communicating with their children. They feel that they are wordy, just to get rid of entanglement and respond to what their children like. In this way, it is easy to affirm the wrong words and deeds and cause misleading; It may also be indifferent to good behaviors that should be fully affirmed, which affects the enthusiasm of children. Therefore, to praise children, we should carefully observe their performance, patiently listen to their stories, understand their thoughts and activities under any circumstances, and then fully praise what should be affirmed. At the same time, we should also give positive guidance and education to incorrect words and deeds.
Praise children in time and in advance, so that children can develop the good habit of putting forward their own goals and self-motivation before doing anything, and improve their ability to act independently; Exaggerate things, cultivate children's perseverance and the spirit of hard study; Praise afterwards, cultivate children's correct self-evaluation ability and improve their psychological quality of self-education.
Praise children moderately, so that the language is gentle and sincere. Pay attention to praise children of different ages and personalities with different language tones. Moderate voice, praise children for their enthusiasm. Especially for younger children, while verbally praising, we can use body language such as thumbs-up, touching head, patting shoulders, clapping hands and hugging to enhance the praise effect, praise children's enthusiasm and attitude, and encourage children to make continuous progress.
Combination of praise and reward. Through regular praise, children are encouraged in spirit, gradually understand right and wrong from the front, and distinguish truth, goodness, beauty, falsehood, evil and ugliness, which can play a very good role in cultivating sentiment and improving moral character. If praise and reward are combined, the educational effect will be better. Rewards are mainly spiritual rewards, but appropriate material rewards are also essential. Although the material rewards given to children are insignificant in quantity, it is a need, a satisfaction and even a positive force for children.
The combination of "bragging" and "other bragging". Most of today's children are only children, and most of them are "little emperors" and "little princesses" who are spoiled by adults at home. They can only let others say that they are good, but they don't listen to what others say, and they rarely look at the advantages of others. Therefore, interpersonal tension and not getting along well with peers are not good for children's healthy growth. If we combine "boast" with "other boast" and let children boast of their own strengths, we can enhance our self-confidence, let children boast of others' strengths, overcome jealousy and develop a good character of learning from others with an open mind. Often using this way of mutual praise and learning can harmonize the relationship between children and others, promote the improvement of social communication ability and be conducive to the development of children's healthy personality.
As long as you have a correct attitude and pay attention to praising children's art, good children will certainly be able to boast. People should be educated in three aspects in their life, namely, family education, school education and social education. As the earliest and most influential basic form of education in life, family education plays a very important role in the growth of the younger generation and is irreplaceable by school education.
With the advent of the era of knowledge economy, the fission effect of science and technology and the competition of market economy, the speed of knowledge renewal is accelerating, and our family education is facing great challenges. The vast majority of parents have no direct connection with education for professional and work reasons. The education of children is mostly based on feelings and experience, and the methods of educating children are improper. Children are generally grumpy, domineering, lack of independent opinions and weak willpower. How to solve this situation? The author thinks that the following methods should be taken to make children grow up healthily and happily:
First, eliminate the fear caused by parents to their children.
The junior high school stage is the stage when children "cross the hurdle". Due to various reasons, their academic performance has declined, and their parents are anxious and impetuous. There is opposition between children and parents. At this time, parents should calm down and learn to wait patiently for their children's growth. Some experts said: "Children have a stronger desire to avoid failure than to strive for success. In order to prevent the smallest possible failure, I would rather reduce my efforts. " This is one of the important reasons why parents' fear makes their children lose their initiative. I hope parents don't "try" or even suffer when they see their children's poor grades, so as not to lose confidence in their children. Parents should ask their children about their learning from the process, which is more scientific and effective than asking the results.
Second, build children's self-confidence
The inventor Edison had a strong thirst for knowledge when he was a child, and he liked to trace back to the source. He asked the teacher why "2+2 equals 4", so he caused a big disaster. He has only been in school for three months and was ordered to drop out. His mother was very sad and determined to educate her son personally, build up self-confidence, teach him liberal arts and chemistry, and cultivate his habit of loving learning and science. Edison's thirst for knowledge was further stimulated. The germ of "genius" grew unconsciously and eventually became a world-famous inventor. It can be seen that success comes from self-confidence, the establishment of self-confidence and the common sense of people around you. Fathers don't appreciate their children. Where does the child's self-confidence come from? Edison's mother didn't appreciate her son, so there wouldn't be today's inventor Edison. Parents should use a magnifying glass to discover their children's bright spots and help them build confidence in overcoming difficulties. When children need help, parents should master a certain degree of help, never go beyond it, and leave room. For example, if a child asks how to write a word, some parents will report it casually, which is the most labor-saving, but it is unacceptable. When children ask how to write a word, it is better to encourage them to "can't you look it up in the dictionary?" Check it first, and then tell your father (mother). With such guidance, children will be happy to look up the dictionary. This not only saves parents a lot of time, but also cultivates children's ability to acquire knowledge by themselves. And this ability is very important in a person's life. Only by letting children jump and succeed through their own efforts can children feel the joy of success and build their self-confidence.
Third, grow up with your children and be their bosom friends.
With the progress of society and the rapid development of science and technology, people have to learn more and more new things. As parents, we should always embody the spirit of seeking knowledge and making progress and set an example for our children. "Mom and Dad are also learning and making progress!" Let children understand that learning new knowledge and continuous progress are accompanied by life. Secondly, through communication with children, we should try our best to shorten the distance from their hearts, listen to their unintentional words, truly understand our children and educate them to grow up healthily.
When educating children, don't use insulting language such as "worthless" and "stupid", and don't sneer at children in an ironic tone, which will obliterate their self-confidence, cause great psychological pressure on them and hinder their growth and progress.
"Let children have a bright future" is the eternal demand of parents. There are many ways to educate children. Children's personal situation, family environment and parents' quality are all important factors. Family education should effectively cooperate with school education to achieve the goal of educating students together and let children grow up happily and healthily.
In the process of children's growth, the factor of love is very important. However, when love loses its rationality or limit, love for children becomes extreme love, which often leads to obstacles in children's physical and mental development and distortion of mind, which has a negative impact on children's future life development. ..
The extreme performance of loving children is:
1, think that as long as children's material needs are met infinitely, they love children. In fact, this is an ignorant love. Children's need for love is not only material, but more importantly spiritual. In life, some parents only pay attention to supplementing their children with various nutrients, but ignore the cultivation of their good moral behavior habits and social adaptability. Some parents buy many books or computers for their children, but they don't correctly guide their children to read or use computers. They don't understand that spiritual encouragement, praise, affirmation and necessary psychological support for their children are all love. However, this kind of spiritual love is more important for their growth.
2. Parents overprotect their children and do a lot of things for their children, which virtually deprives them of the opportunity to develop their own abilities and reduces their self-reliance and self-confidence. This kind of love limits children's self-development and has a negative impact on their independent social life in the future.
3, the requirements for children are too harsh, often criticized, and even corporal punishment of children. Some parents really love their children, but they mistakenly think that "a dutiful son is born under the stick" and "a soldier who defeats others without fighting". Whenever the child's performance is different from the parents' imagination, the problem is solved by beating and cursing, which often causes irreparable trauma to the child's physical and mental development. This kind of love does not bring joy to children, but pain. This kind of ambitious love often forms opposite emotions or emotions-hate, hate for parents, others, society and even oneself. Parents should fully affirm their children's advantages and cultivate their self-confidence, instead of criticizing, accusing or punishing them when they find problems, so that their children can get better development.
I remember a foreign scientist said, "Parents are children's first school". Indeed, parents' education is accompanied by children's growth, and whether education is proper or not will directly affect children's future. Therefore, family education is particularly important and an indispensable topic. "Looking forward to your child's success" is the common wish of parents. Every parent wants to train his child into a useful talent for the country and society in the future, which requires our parents to make efforts in this regard.
About "How to educate children well?" It has always been a topic of discussion among parents. On the one hand, it is the concern of society and schools, and there are various ways to educate children. The educational methods for each child are not uniform and should vary from person to person. Among them, there is a lot of knowledge. Educating children should adopt corresponding methods according to their personality characteristics, hobbies and behavior habits, so as to receive good results.
To educate children, we should start from five aspects: morality, intelligence, physique, beauty and goodness, which is quality education. First, parents should educate their children to be good children with good moral character from an early age. They can give some examples or guide their children to tell themselves to be like characters in life by watching TV and cartoons.
Second, parents should pay more attention to their children's academic performance at ordinary times, so that he can feel that adults care about his study, so that he will feel bored in his study. In addition, parents and children