After listening, my husband only said a faint sentence: you are not cut out to be a full-time mother.
Think about it, too. Stay-at-home mothers are not only open all year round, but also have great patience, love and physical vitality for their children. Skills and experience in family life are as important as professional confidence.
I must admit that I am really far behind in these aspects.
Therefore, I admire those housewives who are good at taking care of their families. They are all excellent managers, and I have never lacked such role models around me.
Today, I recommend this article to encourage my sisters: Whether you are a stay-at-home mother or not, it is necessary for us to constantly cultivate your baby, realize your self-growth, take care of your family and create a happy and harmonious family.
1
As a highly educated woman, after learning that many of my classmates have returned to their families and become full-time housewives, my parents unanimously expressed regret-
My mother said, "Ah! ? Isn't it a pity to finally get into such a good school? "
My dad calculated an account: nine-year compulsory education, three-year high school family spent at least 10,000 yuan, and then went to college. The tuition fee per semester was more than 6,000 yuan, and the state subsidized the meal every month/kloc-0.50, plus various fees and miscellaneous fees, at least/kloc-0.00 million-you said,/kloc-0.00 years ago, 654,380+.
If only from the economic point of view, housewives really have no real income, which is indeed a loss in ROI.
But after working for ten years, I am married and have children myself. Let's look at the status of my friends who are still working full-time at home. As for whether girls should be housewives after receiving higher education, I think the principles of economics are not applicable here.
I fully understand the worries of my parents' generation about housewives.
A generation ago, housewives were actually a helpless choice: unable to find a job, unable to find a job, forced to be laid off or having no choice at all. In our generation, most housewives are actually the result of free choice.
The previous generation felt very frustrated, because on the surface, higher education was completed by one person, but behind it, the manpower, material resources and resources of a family, a family and even society need to be poured. During these years, we should expect corresponding value returns.
But what is a valuable "educational investment return"?
It is a reward to earn money to support the family, have visible economic income and realize self-worth.
And if you choose to return to your family willingly, you will eventually create happiness and harmony in your family-shouldn't this reward be more precious? !
2
In the book Harvard Negotiation, there is a story:
The author himself is a negotiation lecturer at Harvard University and a professional adviser to the President of the United States. Her mother was a pioneer of women in her time.
In the era when women generally didn't work, her mother was often excluded by other housewives because she "went to work by herself and asked her husband to pick up the children".
Ironically, such a work-oriented pioneer of the times gave birth to a group of children with different personalities-the author's eldest sister was educated at Princeton and Cornell's top universities, but she was willing to become a housewife after getting married and having children.
This incident made my mother furious. She can't believe that "her daughter" chose to "stay at home and look after the children" after winning the Fulbright scholarship.
So whenever there is an opportunity, she criticizes her eldest daughter for "wasting social resources" and "losing the opportunity of development potential" ...
The author's eldest sister silently endured her mother's criticism, while continuing to do what she thought was right-to be a full-fledged housewife and bring happiness to her family.
With the spirit of studying in those days, she inspired her full potential as a mother and trained her five children into outstanding young people who dared to pursue their dreams.
The story is not long, but unforgettable.
It tells the story of how women in different times fought against mainstream values, snorkeling and finally won a place for their inner dreams.
three
The longer you work, the more people you meet, and you have seen various lifestyles and life concepts. I feel more and more that the ultimate core of the so-called "quality education" may not be to teach you how to succeed and how to climb to the top, but to teach you how to be loyal to your own interests and become a person who realizes your personal ideals and is valuable to others in this field.
If a person can bring happiness, hope and motivation to herself and many people with her words and deeds, then she has succeeded enough.
A friend of mine hesitated to return to the workplace after giving birth to a second child. On the one hand, she wants to stay at home and better accompany the first and second. And professional inertia drives her not to give up her position and qualifications easily.
Struggling, she tentatively asked her five-year-old son.
As a result, her son replied, "Mom, you can do whatever you like!" " If you are unhappy, we will have no good life! "
Adults struggle, but children can tell the truth-the happiness and well-being of mothers is the foundation of a modern family's stability and happiness.
But it is precisely because in modern society, when a woman is out of "active choice" rather than "laziness", it is extremely necessary for her to be a full-time mother.
No matter how boring it is to go to work, there is always a rest after work; Stay-at-home mothers work 24 hours a day.
You can get paid to go to work, dress appropriately and professionally, eat delicious restaurants and meet all kinds of people; Almost all stay-at-home mothers are alone, eating and wearing their own food, but the people who can socialize are very limited, and they have to ask for money from home.
Most people in this society don't think that stay-at-home mom is also a kind of job, which has its responsibility and value; They will feel that they are "resting" and taking care of their baby.
This is actually a narrow view.
four
Before giving birth to the baby, I always wondered whether I should return to the workplace after maternity leave.
The fact is, as soon as the maternity leave is over, no matter how reluctant I am to leave the baby, I still decided to go back to work on time-because it is really not that easy to be a full-time mother. Besides love and patience, family life skills and experience as well as professional self-confidence are equally important.
There is a neighbor's mother, and I always think she is super capable: she not only takes care of the baby all day, but also keeps the house in good order. Because the child's father has a stroke, he needs a lot of attention in his diet and daily life, and the housework operation is naturally more complicated and cumbersome.
As a result, after visiting her home one day, I found that what I had seen before was just the tip of the iceberg: she not only raised a baby, took care of a large family, but also planted vegetables and flowers on the balcony, and adopted a dog, a parrot and a jar of fish; There are pickles pickled in her hometown in her kitchen, and DIY yogurt popsicles are frozen in the refrigerator. ...
This incident gave me a great shock: from the outside world, she was just an ordinary housewife, and the children she brought out were also ordinary children, nothing special.
But for the child, the father in the family and herself, this is a happy life.
There are also some friends who have been "housewives" for many years. In the era of social media, they are constantly refreshing my knowledge: building a fitness community, organizing fitness punching, sharing experiences in feeding premature babies, and sharing classes on WeChat for free on a regular basis. ...
They constantly subvert the lonely and boring image of housewives, with keen thinking and broad vision, and always come up with new ideas and new ideas.
five
An elite girlfriend, retired from the workplace to be a full-time housewife, is also very successful. Because she used the tenacity, dedication, openness and flexibility she learned in the workplace at home.
Sometimes I even think that if I can steal 65,438+00% of her skills and coordinate the major events and minor events in my life, I should be able to advance and retreat freely between the workplace and my family and firmly control the pace of my life in my own hands.
Someone asked Peng Minghui, a professor in Tsinghua University, Taiwan Province Province: "For those stay-at-home mothers who once had ambitions and dreams in life, how should they face the role of no income and no professional performance?"
Professor Peng Minghui answered this question:
"There are two things worth pursuing in life: one is to deepen, broaden and thicken your understanding of the noble side of human nature; The second is to make the world better because of its existence.
From these two perspectives, choosing the role of stay-at-home mother is no different from choosing to go to work. Both people need to leave time to increase their wisdom and depth of mind in life, and also have the opportunity to benefit others.
The biggest challenge for stay-at-home mothers is that people must' learn to affirm themselves with their own understanding of themselves as soon as possible and affirm themselves with their own internal growth'. " ?
Therefore, to be a full-time mother, there is no need to always associate the words "sacrifice" and "dedication". Those women who stay at home full-time objectively fulfill their children and families, but subjectively, they should also "fulfill themselves" as much as possible.
six
One year, Harvard's graduation speech mentioned the role of universities, arguing that "universities provide a kind of humanistic education in addition to ordinary knowledge transfer."
The main purpose of humanistic education is to teach us to live consciously and give us the ability to discover and define the inner meaning of what we do. "
Study, settle down, communicate, think and settle down again-the more education we receive, the more we should be endowed with the ability to think about goals, carry out actions, discover the meaning of things, calmly grasp our own lives and make choices.
When I was in college, I once read a novel called The Professor's Daughter because of the recommendation of the professor. I can't remember the original sentence clearly, but I was deeply impressed: the family is the cell of a society. When we feel that the pursuit of social happiness is a grand proposition, we might as well turn to personal family happiness.
Because every cell of this organism is happy and happy, the whole society can be happy.
A housewife is an identity and a stage state. It is not a woman's fate and destination, and there is no need to regard this moment as a lifetime.
Some people call housewives housewives housewives and others call housewives full-time wives, but in my opinion, every housewife who is good at taking care of her family is an outstanding manager and a happy thinker.
There are as many kinds of happiness as there are in the world.
How not to give up self-realization and self-growth, and how not to pin yourself on others, is not only a full-time housewife, but also a lesson that everyone needs to practice all his life.
The author introduces:
Yan Wen (WeChat official account: wenyanhello)
WeChat official account Juanzi mother tells stories.