Four personalities and four ways of urging.
1, phenotype-boasting and urging
Characteristics of phenotypic children:
Cheerful, enthusiastic, confident, optimistic, brave, expressive, energetic, curious and enthusiastic for three minutes.
Phenotypic children have very exposed personality characteristics.
At this time, parents should establish rules.
Praise and reward the child when he completes the task. If he can't finish, he will be punished. Even if the child cries, he can't violate the rules set before. But any method will lose its effect if it is used for a long time. At this time, you can try to change your strategy.
For example, occasionally say an irony: I don't think you can finish this task. Or lower their posture and let their pride be satisfied. "I can't do it, can you do it?" After that, you can see the energetic and full-powered "rocket" child.
2, think one by one, don't worry.
Characteristics of thinking children:
Introverted, reserved, rigorous, delicate, good at thinking, calm, logic-oriented, obeying rules, rational and sensitive.
Behind the slowness is their cautious and sensitive heart.
Thinking children usually love to say three words:
"Don't worry/wait/I'll think about it ..."
If you think they are procrastinating, coercion, intimidation and threats are not only ineffective, but counterproductive.
Instead of worrying, listen patiently and ask them a few more questions: "What do you think?" Can you tell me your reasons? After they express their ideas, express your opinions and feelings and guide them to put their ideas into action step by step.
3. Leaders should be patient.
Characteristics of leading children:
Brave, strong, strong, firm, like to win, have a sense of responsibility and justice, clear goals, refuse to compromise easily, like to make rules, love face, and be willing to resist.
In fact, the leading children are very bureaucratic, and such children especially hate being "managed".
A mother shared her own method to deal with children's homework procrastination: refrain from urging and not accompanying, complete the task within the specified time, and adults will not correct it without help. From adults urging to children making their own plans, from passive to active. Sure enough, the child's problem of muddling along immediately improved a lot.
Usually in life, you can often consciously provide children with opportunities to participate in some family decisions.
Lead the child, not drag him away, let go.
4. Kindness and gentle reminder
Child-friendly characteristics:
Shy, cautious, gentle, kind and popular, but I don't know how to refuse. He is a slow-tempered, quiet and humble man, willing to listen to other people's opinions and likes to keep everything in his heart.
They have a strong ability to feel emotions.
When you say, "Can you hurry?" What they think is: "Mom is angry. The more anxious you are, the more nervous and scared they are.
You ask questions, they feel emotions.
There is a saying in Sears' Intimate Parenting: "Close contact between parents is the secret for timid children to open their hearts.
When communicating with close children, try to use some body language. For example: squat down and keep your eyes straight; When talking, hold their hands, speak slowly, speak slowly, and don't listen to your hug.
Education is "goodwill cooperation"
Effective education—
Don't worry, don't lose your temper, and slow guidance is the best way to deal with this kind of procrastination.
Education is a friendly cooperation between parents and children.
There is no good or bad personality, and each personality has its own advantages and disadvantages.
No accusations, no labels, more patience, equal communication,
Help children develop good behavior habits from personality characteristics.
Is the correct way to improve children's behavior problems.