All the love in the world points to reunion, only the love of parents points to parting. What should I give my child before leaving?
We want our children to be brave, grateful, filial and positive.
Have a goal. So how to cultivate the good qualities that children should have in order to enter the society well in the future? This is the purpose of sharing this book today.
Everyone is a teacher, everything is a lesson plan, and there are schools everywhere.
Micro-education is everywhere, and a small change of parents can affect a child's life.
The word "micro" reminds us that even the smallest place is education!
The author hopes that when we read this book, we can feel the education, start to reflect on our own education, and are willing to improve it in a way that we agree with.
1. What is micro-education? Micro-education is like the microcirculation of the human body. It seems tiny, but it is everywhere. The subtlety is education!
At the dinner table, parents take the initiative to help their elders by setting an example. This is micro education.
Taking children out to play and letting them share food with their partners is micro-education.
Encourage children to take the initiative to solve problems instead of waiting for their parents to do it. This is micro education.
Sharing the outlook on life with children, "a scholar can be killed but not humiliated" or "humiliation is a kind of cultivation", which is micro-education.
Reading a book with children and discussing the ideas expressed in the book together is micro-education.
Watching a movie with children and discussing the shooting techniques of the movie is micro-education.
Looking back on our life, do we find that we still remember a compliment from our young teacher? In fact, this is micro-education, seemingly small, but it can affect people's life.
When we are aware of it, we will find that education is all the time, education is everywhere, education starts from bit by bit, and education is reflected in words and deeds!
2. Education is input and output. If you don't pour water into a container, how can you pour it out? If you pour milk or dirty water, it is naturally not clear water. What kind of input, what kind of output! A newborn child is like an empty jar. When we pour Tieguanyin into it, it will make the sound of iron wire. When we pour boiling water into it, it produces boiling water. We pour coffee into it, and coffee comes out; We pour poison into it, and poison comes out!
One day, a friend called me and was very angry. She said that her 4-year-old daughter threw something at her mother because of a little incident and asked me what to do. Many times, we all want to solve children's problems directly, but we ignore the causes of the problems. I asked her, "When my daughter was young, who in your family liked to lose her temper?" My friend was interrupted by this sentence, paused for a moment and said, "When my child was 0-3 years old, his work was very unsatisfactory, he often lost his temper, and sometimes he yelled at the child!" I told her that this is the root of the problem, because you "imported" the bad temper to the child, so the child "absorbed" the bad temper and finally "exported" it. As parents, educate children to pay attention to their words and deeds, because parents and children are typing their children every minute. Not only parents, but also children are exposed to everything, grandparents, TV media, dining table, playground and so on. Everything is "input" to children anytime and anywhere.
Therefore, in order for children to better "export" and become a sunny, positive, filial, grateful and kind person in the future, it is necessary to "import" well, and first of all, set an example.
Parents set an example everywhere.
Parents and children spend all their time together doing education. Parents' emotions and behaviors drive children's behaviors, and parents' thoughts guide children's thoughts.
I like to invite parents to attend classes. Some parents come every time, while others don't want to come. According to the survey, the reason why I don't want to come is that I know all the contents of the lecture. When we think we don't need to learn what we know, then we haven't figured out what wisdom is!
Parents' education of their children can't stay at the stage of "knowing", because what they know is useless, and only what they do can bring real benefits, and the first thing to do is to start with consciousness. The process of learning such as listening to lectures and reading books is a process of constant awareness!
The word "lead by example" must be familiar to everyone, almost everyone knows it, but when we realize our daily behavior, are we really setting an example? We often reason with our children, but we don't practice it ourselves.
When we tell children that learning is very important, children seldom see their parents studying.
When we tell our children to be polite to others, they find that their parents will yell at the waiter in the restaurant because they are slow to serve.
When we told our children to be modest, they found that their parents quarreled with others because of some trivial things.
When we hate children playing games, children find their parents clinging to their mobile phones.
I once saw one thing. When the father saw the child coming back, he said to the child, "Close the door and do your homework quickly. Learning is very important. " Looking back, my father and friends rubbed mahjong and said, "Guys, let's continue to play a game. We lost a bit miserably tonight. "
I once asked some children, "What is your wish?" The child replied, "Grow up!" Continue to ask: "Why do you want to grow rapidly?" "Because when I grow up, I will watch TV if I want, play games if I want, and don't study if I don't want!"
No matter how much parents say, it is better to show it to children, because children imitate behaviors far beyond their understanding of truth. In the public service advertisement, the child's mother poured water to wash the child's grandmother's feet. After the child saw it, he also ran to get a basin of water to wash his mother's feet. Mother is very touched! I once saw a wall in a nursing home, which read: Today for the elderly is our tomorrow. Therefore, education is a kind of inheritance, and parents need to influence their children's behavior with actions! Interestingly, some parents watched this public welfare film, instead of reflecting on what they need to improve, they turned to educate their children: "You see how sensible other children are!"
Parents' words and deeds are textbooks, which always affect their children!
A planted seed
The influence of family background is lingering in a person's life, and it is difficult for many people to let the bad mark of family background disappear completely after exhausting their lives. For the sake of children's happiness, planting more good seeds when he is still young will give him more happiness in this life.
There's a saying in China: A dragon gives birth to a dragon, a phoenix gives birth to a phoenix, and a mouse's son can make holes. The quality of children is directly related to their parents. We don't explain this problem genetically, we need to introduce a very important concept-lineage family.
There are two families in a person's life: one is the family where he was born and grew up, that is, his parents' family, called family of origin; The other is the family established after entering the married life, which is called the newborn family.
Being born in a family has a great influence on the growth of children, and many influences enter the subconscious level of children. Parents' relationship, family atmosphere and traditional habits in family of origin have great influence on the development of children and their newborn families!
Satya, a famous American family therapist, believes that a person is inextricably linked with his family background, which will inevitably affect his life.
Some very strong and painful experiences in childhood often make the parties unconsciously make important decisions that affect their lives.
Huang (pseudonym) is a very beautiful girl with excellent academic performance. When looking for a partner, she always finds a boy with much worse conditions than herself, gets along for a while, and breaks up because it is hard to accept. Why? It turned out that her parents divorced when she was 6 years old. My father was excellent, but he abandoned her mother. Mother raised her alone and had to do several jobs to support her family. One night, my mother was still at work. When she went home alone, she saw the dark room and opened the refrigerator. There is nothing to eat in it. At that moment, the feeling of loneliness and sadness is unforgettable. From then on, she made a decision-never to be abandoned. So when looking for an object, she dare not find a boy as good as herself, for fear of being abandoned!
These unconscious "invisible inner vows" often have a decisive impact on the results when the parties deal with the most important interpersonal relationships in life.
In family of origin, there are no children who live with their parents in childhood, and their sense of belonging is very weak. Some children in single-parent families don't know how to love each other because of lack of love. Girls brought up by women are particularly prone to this problem and don't know how to get along with the opposite sex. It turns out that the reason why I have suffered so much over the years, so much sorrow, has long been formed in my family of origin. It can be said that almost all our adult behaviors can be found in family of origin. As parents, our present family is the children's family of origin. If you want your children to live a good life, please come out from the negative influence of the family, adhere to practice, plant good seeds for your new family, and let this family have no quarrel and understand more; No complaints, only encouragement; No blame, some praise, no doting, some principles!
5. Who is the root of all the problems,
I am the root of all problems, and solving problems begins with realizing myself. All our attempts to change others in order to accommodate ourselves will only hurt others and ourselves. When it is in full bloom, the butterfly will come!
6. Deal with your feelings first, then deal with things.
Many times we don't handle our emotions well, so we handle things with emotions, which in turn leads to more troubles and even some irreparable tragedies!
7. Mood first, things second!
Impulse is the devil, and it is difficult for people to make correct judgments under irrational circumstances. When your temper is out of control, you should leave the scene to count, count from the beginning, imagine beautiful things in your mind, and then deal with things until your emotions calm down. Can do this, I believe that many bad things will not happen.
8. Don't compare, be unique,
There are no two identical leaves in this world, let alone two identical people. Everyone has their own different mission, so we should respect diversity, don't frame everyone with a standard, and don't always compare ourselves with others, thus losing our id.
9. Meditation can sober up education. Silence can attract wisdom, distinguish right from wrong, and nourish the soul. Education can only be clear if the heart is clear! Calm your heart, and wisdom will knock!
10.28 law and pyramid tip
What is the 28 law? That is, 20% of the people in society own 80% of the wealth in society. This seems unfair, but it is also a kind of fairness. There used to be a prediction that if the wealth in the world is evenly distributed now, it will still return to 20: 80 in 20 years. Why? Because wealth is only a result, the key lies in the reason. Successful people have mastered the secrets of wealth, and when they use these secrets, they can make money even if they have no money; And those who don't know the secret of making money, even if they have money, will eventually become penniless!
Parents must hope that their children can become 20% people and hope that their children can stand at the height of the pyramid. Then let's find the secret of becoming 20%. What's the difference between 20% and 80%?
20% people look for answers in questions, and 80% people look for questions in answers;
20% people focus on the long term, and 80% people only care about the present;
20% people do simple things, 80% people don't want to do simple things;
20% people often praise and encourage, and 80% people often abuse and criticize;
20% people dare to face difficulties, and 80% people escape from reality;
20% people will insist, and 80% people will often give up;
20% people plan the future, and 80% people wake up in the morning to think about what to do today;
20% people do things tomorrow today, and 80% people do things today tomorrow;
20% people think that the above 80% should be satisfied, and 80% people think that I have the above 20%.
The reasons are different, and the results are naturally different. Many people know these principles, but few people do them.
Therefore, if you know what to do, you must stick to it and change from quantitative to qualitative!
If you want a high standard of life, you must have a high standard. This standard is not harsh, but a kind of high-energy wisdom!
According to the "28 Law", only 20% of parents can cultivate 20% of outstanding talents and let them go to the top of the pyramid. I believe you must be one of them, as long as you can, know, do and persist!
1 1. How did you get the ability?
If we cry every day to improve our ability, but don't challenge the problem, our ability will not be improved; If we choose to escape in the face of pressure, our ability will not improve ... so the improvement of ability is accompanied by the breakthrough of pressure and the solution of problems.
It turns out that all our stress comes from lack of ability.
What should we do to deal with the pressure?
When we encounter things that bring us pressure, if we face difficulties, find solutions, consult others, take part in learning and break through ourselves ... When we finally solve this problem through a series of efforts, our ability will be improved, and our ability has matched such a problem!
It turns out that a person's ability is improved by solving one thing after another.
Only when children solve one thing after another can their ability be improved.
We expect children's ability to improve, let them accumulate from one thing to another, even if there is some pressure, let them face and bear it, because this is the only way to improve their ability! 12. Spiritual education begins with the cultivation of housework habits.
13. Don't worry, surpass yourself yesterday.
14. Don't be jealous and wish others a good life.
15. A sense of accomplishment is the driving force for continuous learning.
16. Helping others is an effective learning method.
Little things in life can cultivate a child's mind. When a simple thing is done repeatedly, the mind will be cultivated! Only military training and martial arts training. It all started with simple repetitive training, such as making the bed and squatting.
Look at the rise and fall of a family, look at three places:
First glance: see when children and grandchildren sleep. If they sleep until the sun has risen very high, it means that the family will slowly slack off;
The second look: see if children and grandchildren do housework, because the habit of hard work affects a person's life;
The third look: see if future generations are reading the classics of sages, "people don't learn, they don't know righteousness."
Keep the good habit of diligence, study and exercise!
Education is everywhere, and it is a subtle education. Let's practice micro-education in life, accumulate micro-capital, and let the flowers of happiness bloom in every corner of our lives!
Share this year's goals,
1. Don't use your mobile phone after 10 at night. Early to bed and early to rise are healthy! Read some books before going to bed. Reading can let us collide with various ideas, make contact with other people's lives, and enrich our own wisdom with other people's wisdom.
2. Keep practicing calligraphy and yoga.
3. Keep practicing Tai Chi tiger leaning against the mountain and standing on piles every day. Exercise is the best way to keep healthy. Sedentary people, the ecosystem in their bodies is like a stagnant pool, lifeless. For people who exercise regularly, the ecosystem in the body is more like a clear spring, clean and clear, without a trace of turbidity.
4. Appropriate inaction makes children succeed, family goals are clear, and everyone takes their own responsibilities.
5. Let children try more and make more mistakes, and be willing to use children.