Children's "sex games" generally have four forms:
Self-entertaining "sex game"
During the nap, the teacher walked beside four-year-old Tingting and saw Tingting lying on her back, her face flushed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, her feet stretched straight and tightly clamped. When Tingting found the teacher moving her quilt, she immediately stopped moving and showed a nervous expression.
In art class, all the children are watching the teacher draw carefully. Only four-year-old Xiao Ming pulls his little brother out of the quilt hole and plays intently. He stopped when the teacher reminded him to "study hard".
The behavior of these two children belongs to the "sex game" of self-entertainment, that is, they get pleasure by playing with and rubbing their genitals. The occurrence of this kind of behavior often has a process from unconscious to conscious. Touching genitals at first is the same as touching other parts of the body, but the very comfortable feeling brought by touching makes children change from unconscious touching to intentional playing, thus forming a habit. Self-entertaining "sex game" is a natural way for children to explore their own sexual existence and get happiness from it, and it is a normal phenomenon in the process of growing up. However, many teachers and parents are often deeply disturbed by this kind of behavior and severely reprimand and punish their children in order to stop their behavior. This practice has also produced a certain effect, but it may be a greater relief-children are very worried, nervous and guilty about their behavior, forming the concept that their behavior is "dirty", carrying a heavy burden on their backs, and children are often in the conflict between masturbation pleasure and inner contradictions.
Of course, if children are keen on "sex games" that entertain themselves, they will inevitably weaken their interest in other things, affect their learning of new things, and are unhealthy. Therefore, to treat this behavior correctly, we should not only make it clear that this behavior of children has nothing to do with sexual consciousness, but also take the right way to deal with it. For example, if children are found playing this kind of games, they should divert their attention in time, enrich their life content, expand their spiritual life, cultivate their hobbies, and turn their attention to meaningful things such as painting, singing and sports activities. And also tell children the reason not to play with sex organs, mainly for health.
Friendly "sex game"
Four-year-old Jingjing and Dongdong are playing "dress up as the bride and groom" and "play house" happily in the role game in kindergarten. Jingjing put a scarf on her head, Dongdong hugged her and kissed her face. Jingjing also kissed Dongdong, and then the "groom" and the "bride" went to bed. Dongdong said, "Let's have a baby." Jingjing put the doll in the waistband, then took it out and said, "I will be a mother, your baby will nurse, you will be a father, and take the children to play ..."
Children's playing games such as "bride and groom", "playing house" and "having a baby" is an imitation behavior, and the behavior of "going to bed" in the game is just a pure game behavior. Parents and teachers should never treat children's hearts as adults, and there is no need to complicate such problems in early childhood. When children behave like adults in the game, we should guide them correctly, let them find out the content or topic that children are interested in and put their interests into it.
Aggressive "sex games"
Four-year-old Mingming was playing in the park when she saw a lovely little girl coming and impulsively ran to hug her and kissed her. The little girl ran angrily to her mother and shouted "hooligan". The girl's mother scolded Mingming angrily. Mingming's father beat Mingming very embarrassed, and Mingming cried very confused. He wanted to know why his father beat him, why his aunt scolded him, and why the little girl called him a rogue.
The obvious behavior of "kissing the face" fully conforms to the psychological and behavioral characteristics of children of this age. They have strong imitation ability, but their mental development is not advanced because of imitating the behavior of adults. They still intuitively express the joys and sorrows of the world around them with their own understanding. Mingming's behavior may be imitation after watching a similar movie, perhaps out of love for the little girl, perhaps because of being naughty, and there is no motivation to "play hooligans".
Faced with such a "sex game", adults' excessive behavior will often affect the healthy development of children's sexual psychology, because these excessive behaviors are tantamount to telling children that "being heterosexual" is a kind of "hooligan behavior". Parents or teachers should analyze the reasons, then educate and protect them according to the specific situation, and tell their children that it is disrespectful to kiss others forcibly. If you like others, you can express your love in other ways, such as giving her a toy to play with.
Exploring "Sex Games"
A five-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl are playing on the grass. Boys urinate everywhere, and girls run to the boys and look down at them. The boy refused to watch and turned to the other side. Who knows, the girl followed the boy and watched the boy urinate carefully ... After a while, the girl took off her pants and peed on her stomach. Of course, she didn't urinate, but her pants were wet. ...
In the bathroom of the kindergarten, the boys in the middle class lined up beside the urinal. "Who did we see urinating high?" Bing Bing suggested that his suggestion received a warm response from everyone. As a result, there was a fierce pee contest near the urinal. As a result, Xiao Qiang won the first prize. Just after the game, someone suggested that his penis was bigger than anyone else's, and "boys" watched each other carefully with their penises.
These children's sexual exploration activities are all driven by curiosity. They are eager to know sex through their own observation and understanding, and their curiosity and concern for themselves and others' bodies is an important manifestation of this feature. In order to achieve this goal, they often urinate openly or secretly, or hold such a urine contest, which is better than the "penis" contest. When their games are reprimanded by adults, they often play in other "safe ways", such as pretending to be a doctor to check. Psychological research shows that satisfying children's curiosity about the opposite sex in early childhood is beneficial to their future sexual psychological development. Therefore, for children's exploratory "sex games", it is necessary to protect the positive side of knowledge and stop the negative side. Parents or teachers can choose appropriate time, such as swimming to change clothes, taking a bath or going to the toilet, naturally let their children know about individual organs, and explain to their children that men and women have different bodies, and pay attention to their own and others' bodies, and they should not touch them casually or casually. When children are found watching each other naked or peeking at the opposite sex taking a bath, don't yell at them loudly, but tell them calmly and patiently why they can't do so.
Conclusion: At present, most teachers and parents know the importance of sex education for children from an early age, but they are not sure what to teach and how to teach them. Children's "sex games" are an excellent opportunity for adult education, avoiding the embarrassment that may be encountered in sex education for children. Parents and teachers should treat children's "sex games" with childlike innocence and normality, and point out the quality of children's behavior with language suitable for their age characteristics. Simple and rude or too meticulous will have a negative impact on children's growth. The former will make children feel that sex is dirty and ugly, while the latter will cause children to be overly curious about sex.
In addition, parents and teachers should pay attention to preventing sexual assault and tell their children to protect themselves and not let others touch any part of their bodies, especially their genitals. At an appropriate time, we should tell our children that individual old people are harmed by temptation, what will happen when they are tempted, and what to do when they are tempted. In order to protect your own safety, don't go to a sparsely populated alley or basement, don't accept things from strangers, and if you are disturbed, you should immediately flee to a crowded place and call for help.