Wrong method 1. The authority of parents was scared out.
In life, many parents use the authority of special professionals such as "police", "doctor" and "teacher" to "threaten" their children to eat, sleep and obey. Perhaps this method is effective for a while, but after a long time, children will not only be afraid of these occupations, but also have a strong sense of insecurity.
When children are disobedient, parents can't help showing the authority of adults, coercion, command and intimidation, which are not good communication methods. Why not explore some more sensible methods according to children's preferences? For example, by telling stories, reading books and other ways to tell children something, and communicating with children with more patience and childlike interest, children will be more receptive.
Wrong method 2. Make decisions for children blindly.
When children play with other children, there will be some disputes and problems. Parents often make decisions for their children without consulting their children, which will interfere with the independent communication between children and make them lose practical opportunities to communicate with their peers.
Smart parents always stand behind their children. When encountering the problem of communication between children and others, parents may wish to wait for a while, observe the child's own reaction and let him make up his mind independently. If there is inappropriate behavior, parents will join in at the right time to guide him to communicate correctly with his peers.
Wrong way three, think of the child as fragile.
If a group of children are playing and several older children suddenly join in, parents often worry that their children will suffer and take them away from the playground. This is to protect children's health with their own expectations, but it destroys the environment for children to learn and communicate.
It is human nature to worry that one's children will be bullied by older children, but children's interaction is very simple, and it is mostly harmless to express their emotions directly. Mom and dad can watch it secretly, so as not to destroy the happy atmosphere at the scene and constantly interfere with the normal communication of children.
Wrong way 4. Always look at the world for children.
If when taking the baby out to play, the father will let the baby watch this for a while, and the mother will let the baby watch that for a while ... Parents can't wait for the child to find out for themselves, so they can't wait to point out what they see. On the surface, this practice is imparting knowledge to the baby, but in fact it limits the overall observation ability of the child and deprives the child of the fun of free exploration.
The correct way is that parents can wait for their children to pay special attention to something before opening their mouths. It is best to say it in a guiding way, such as asking more questions and guiding their children to observe together.
Wrong method five, can't be rational to children.
Now, the children are very smart and a geek. When they use "cleverness" and "tricks" to deal with adults, many parents know it is wrong, but they can't help but praise their children's cleverness. Inconsistencies in parents' expressions, tone and actions often make children unable to distinguish correctly, leading to false imitation.
Children's initial sense of order and rules often comes from the family environment they are exposed to, so parents' responsibilities are particularly important. In the face of children's incorrect "intelligence", parents need more rationality, and the attitude of the whole family is the same.
The wrong way to educate children
1, children are given whatever they want from childhood. So when he grows up, he will take it for granted that everything is ready for me.
Never give him spiritual and moral education, let him mix into adulthood and let him decide everything by himself.
3, regardless of good or bad books and periodicals, let them read it by themselves, ignore them and don't interfere. However, the home is clean and the tableware has been thoroughly disinfected, but there is no amount of garbage in the child's head.
4. Give your child as much pocket money as he needs, don't let him work to earn money, and don't ask him to save. Why not let him suffer as much as his parents?
When he has a conflict with his neighbors, teachers or police, his parents will stand by and let them know that those people are unfair to you.
6. Clean up everything he threw away for him. Never let the child do it himself, lest he be tired. In this way, he will get into the habit of putting all the responsibilities on others whenever something happens.
7. When he swears, laugh at him. This will make his vocabulary more and more indecent, and his words will make his popularity half dead
8. Avoid telling your child that you made a mistake, lest your baby sometimes feel guilty. In this way, when he goes out to steal things or is caught committing crimes for other reasons, he will feel that the whole world is against him, but he has become a victim.
9, parents often quarrel, add up, and don't care about the existence of children. In this way, parents' feelings will break down, and children will not be surprised by divorce.
10, the child made a big disaster and said carefully, "Isn't this little thing a mountain out of a molehill?" .
1 1, always tolerate his unreasonable demands on diet and daily life, otherwise it would be terrible if he were angry and anxious.
The correct way to educate children
In daily life, people often say "a key opens a lock", so does educating children. Do you know your children? Children's habits and characteristics, you should constantly observe and analyze the advantages and disadvantages of children, encourage and support children to do it in terms of advantages, and guide and enlighten children in terms of disadvantages. Common types of children's performance and educational methods are as follows:
1, the first child performance:
Children who don't listen carefully in class. Such children are mainly active, fun and talkative in class, and even absent-minded when studying at home. Some parents said, "that's a school matter. I shouldn't take care of it, and I can't sit next to my children." In fact, to practice children's listening attentively, we should start from daily life, because living habits and study habits are closely related.
The main methods of education: First, parents should practice listening to their children once. Secondly, in daily life, parents can consciously practice their children's listening ability, such as arranging three or four things, what to do first, what to do later and what to do finally. Parents should observe whether their children are like this. Thirdly, parents should consciously practice their children's attention and make sure that they look at your face when talking to you. Fourth, parents should consciously practice their children's listening.
2, the second kind of children's performance:
Children who pursue money and material comforts. This kind of children are mainly characterized by "wearing famous brands and eating fine products", paying attention to food and clothing, and some have to go to school by motorcycle and tricycle.
The main methods of education: First, parents should set an example, be thrifty and simple, and tell their children their own life experiences and stories. Second, parents should tell their children about their family income and expenditure plans and seek their children's opinions appropriately. Third, effectively educate children to do a good job in money planning and educate children with typical examples.
3, the third kind of children's performance:
A child with excess energy. This kind of children are mainly playful, noisy and fighting, which is difficult to discipline, but they are smart, active, witty and receptive.
The main methods of education: First, we should establish good interpersonal relationships with children and let them know that they are not "disobedient children", so that they can easily receive psychological education and guidance. Secondly, we should let go and discipline appropriately. If the discipline is too strict and you don't agree with their personality, it will be counterproductive. Give him some freedom, some flowing time and space. Thirdly, patient teaching: patient education, dredge communication, and make children understand that some of their "opinions" are not so good and not so in line with social ethics, so as to give up their "opinions" on their own initiative, overcome their own problems and gradually move towards the road of growth.
4. The fourth kind of children's face:
Children with serious laziness. This kind of children are mainly manifested in passive learning, unfinished or plagiarized homework, leading to blank test papers or cheating in exams, and lax life. The main methods of education: First of all, we should practice from the usual housework, and don't let children eat with their mouths open and their clothes reach out. The second is to help children make plans and strengthen supervision and inspection. Third, parents should lead by example and lead by example in everything. Fourth, we should cultivate the habit of hard work from the little things that children can do, persevere and keep practicing.
5, the fifth kind of children's performance:
Children who don't care about their elders' education. Such children turn a deaf ear to the education of their parents and teachers. The main educational methods: First, let children understand the painstaking efforts of their parents and understand that any educational method of parents and teachers is for the healthy growth of children; Second, educate them in a harmonious atmosphere, eliminate their "hostility" and make them willing to obey the teaching; Third, give children the right to speak and let them give reasons, even if they are inaccurate or untrue. Fourth, be more tolerant. After education, we will still make mistakes. We should give the opportunity to correct it and wait patiently. Fifth, the tone of educating children should be firm, and parents should speak with the same caliber. Some parents laugh and curse, some are not enterprising, some are understated, and some are boastful, which is not conducive to education.
Therefore, it is most important for parents and families to educate their children. The education of children must be adhered to and carefully observed, and constantly enlightened and guided. Don't feel that you are all right just for the convenience of sending your child to school. This is not right. Family and parents are children's first teachers.
Children's education should also have correct methods. Here are some ways to educate children correctly.
1. Parents are the most important and irreplaceable educators in a child's life.
0-6 years old is the key period for children to form quality and good habits. The first two years of a child's life is a crucial period for establishing a strong emotional bond with his parents, and it is the basis for children's future psychological growth and building a relationship of trust and love with others.
All the knowledge about life, 50% is learned in the first year of life, and 25% is learned in the second year of life. The knowledge of life here mainly refers to the ability of love and the development of emotion.
2. If you want to change your child's behavior, parents must first change themselves.
Educating children is the process of educating yourself. Children's bad behavior is often directly inherited by the environment or parents. Education by example is the most reliable way to cultivate children's moral behavior.
Cultivating children's spiritual quality is far more important than intelligence.
The spirit of development is a tree, and the mind is a fruit; Spirit is a lamp, and thought is light. Human intelligence is a reflection of spiritual quality. If we only pay attention to the cultivation of skills (such as various early intellectual development interest classes) and ignore the cultivation of children's spiritual quality, we can only put the cart before the horse. When children grow up, their personality will be flawed and their moral development will be hindered.
4. Reasonable control
Disciplining children is to tell them the standard of behavior, that is, what can and can't be done. Control must have authority: when children may make mistakes, we must have authority when we want to control them. Let your children know that you are serious, and your request will be accompanied by punishment or reward. Restricting children beneficially can cultivate their discipline. Of course, the control of children must be responsible. And tell your child the reason for your request. Consistency with the child's father: Parents have the same control over the child, so that the child can establish a unified standard of behavior. Even if you don't agree with dad's control, you'd better discuss it with him when the child is not present in the future. Doing so can also establish the authority of both parents. Don't over-punish: don't abuse children physically and psychologically. The best way to manage a child is to reward him for his good behavior.
5. Encourage children to establish good self-values in a positive way.
Parents need to actively teach their children basic values and behaviors. Let children grow up in society. Of course, in this respect, example is better than words, and we can be good examples for children. It is very important to create a good family atmosphere. Therefore, we can't let our children do what we don't want to do, and we can't do one thing by ourselves and let our children do another. Only by setting an example and paying attention to the cultivation of children's values and etiquette can we educate the next generation with noble morality.
People with high self-worth have three "abilities": I have the ability; I can associate with people around me; I can contribute to the happiness of others anytime and anywhere. Believe that you have the potential to learn and grow, and cultivate qualities such as courage, faith, self-confidence and trust in life and others. On the contrary, low self-worth is a negative understanding of yourself, and destructive emotions such as self-blame, humiliation, anger and hatred will accompany you all your life.
6. Establish clear family rules and hold regular family meetings.
Children need to know where the boundaries are, what to do and what not to do. Without rules, children feel insecure. There are no more than five or six family rules. To meet the specific needs of families, they must be stated in affirmative sentences and posted. If you violate the family rules, you should make clear the corresponding punishment measures. Once established, we must resolutely implement it, and adjust and repair the family rules every once in a while. Hold regular family meetings to let the whole family share the process of life development, promote democracy, respect each other and enjoy the atmosphere of love.