Yesterday, as a member of the family education lecturer group, I attended the meeting jointly held by the Municipal Women's Federation, the Municipal Education Bureau and the Municipal Commission for Work Relations. The topic of discussion was how to better promote the effective implementation of family education in the local area.

In the sharing and communication session, a treasure dad raised a question: As a parent, I am very confused and hope to get help. My daughter-in-law is very worried about her children's grades. She is in a good mood every time the children do their homework.

In fact, my idea is that children's ideology and morality are more important than their grades, and I value how to cultivate children's character more. At this point, I don't know how to get along with my wife.

In fact, when I heard this question, I was a little touched: more and more parents began to wake up, and more and more parents began to think about family education and participate in it.

From my own professional point of view, what I continue to share today is: What if the husband and wife disagree on the education of their children?

Every time I see a doctor, I always hear all kinds of stories. Usually, when they finish their questions, I will stop.

Then let them think about a question: Has such a thing ever happened?

For example, someone came to me because his other half smoked and asked me if there was any way to get his other half to quit smoking.

As we continue to explore, we will eventually find that this is actually the interaction mode in their lives: she has been trying to transform each other, but she has never succeeded, so she is very depressed and powerless.

Therefore, many times, what we think of as symptoms is only a superficial problem, which needs further exploration.

Then, what is the deeper difference between Bao Da's educational concept and the other half?

In the face of different ideas, I want to adjust and solve them. In the final analysis, I don't agree with each other's ideas.

In other words, we think we are right and the other is wrong, but we don't know how to change each other.

The truth of the matter is that we really can't change it. The combination of husband and wife is often not only two individuals, but also includes the hidden family background and ideas, so it is inevitable that there will be differences.

I estimate that Bao Dad's own parents adopt a free-range mode, while her daughter-in-law's parents are strict, so it is normal that their educational concepts are different.

Does that mean that we can't solve the problem normally after we know this fact?

The facts are powerful.

When we see the fact itself, we will give up the fearless confrontation. In other words, we will choose to surrender. At this time, the so-called wisdom will have a chance to appear.

This wisdom lies in: what better solution do I have in the face of what has happened?

You see, at this time, we have jumped out of dealing with different ideas and shifted our focus to solving the problem itself. This is the power of submission.

Different ideas are not the problem itself, but the fact that you want to solve different ideas. There is no way to solve the fact itself.

Suppose, because the child sleeps too late when doing homework, the father wants the child to go to bed early and have a good sleep, and the mother wants the child to finish his homework and form the habit of doing things today.

The key to this problem is: everyone has completely forgotten the main body of this matter. Who is feeling it? The answer is children.

Therefore, to solve the problem, it is necessary to solve it from the perspective of the matter itself or the parties themselves, rather than solving the problem with the right and wrong concept of onlookers.

What parents need to do is to ask the opinions of the parties when they really encounter something that their children can't finish their homework. This is the only correct and effective method.

Sit down and say to the child: If you feel tired, you can have a rest, but you need to bear the consequences of being criticized by the teacher tomorrow. If you don't have enough rest time to finish your homework, you may feel sleepy in class tomorrow. What would you choose?

Give the initiative to the children, rather than subjectively judging what the children should do.

Getting yourself out of the problem is something that parents or couples can do with one voice.

In the face of education related to children, it is very normal for couples to have conceptual differences.

If you are unconscious, you will fall into it and want to solve the problem for your child. As a result, as soon as children's problems are discussed, the family will be full of gunpowder and immediately become a battlefield, and no one will let anyone.

Therefore, to solve the problem of different concepts, the most important core method is to see who is the ultimate responsible person, undertaker and executor of this matter and ask his opinion.

It doesn't matter whether two people think right or wrong, because it doesn't solve the problem.

It's like a person is hungry, and the people next to him are discussing what to eat and when to eat. These problems can't solve the problem from the root.

Isn't the most direct way to send each other something ready-made to eat now?

Each of us will unconsciously think: how can I solve this matter?

But have you ever asked what this "thing" or "person" really needs? In other words, the thing itself or talent is the most important part.

When you put yourself into something, integrate with the event itself and feel the same way, then you can really solve the problem.

In other words, in the face of children's problems, parents need children to participate and take children as the center, instead of becoming a war between husband and wife.

As parents, we need to pull ourselves out and ask ourselves "how to better serve and support our children". This is what parents should do, instead of being caught in the "right dispute" and "right dispute" between husband and wife.

As long as couples are willing to create common goals, such as how to better help their children grow up, many things will be solved naturally, and there is no need to change each other in order to accomplish this.

# Family education # # Things about children's homework # # Concept of husband and wife #