1. Early intervention in children's peer conflict

Case 1:

After dinner in the afternoon, Mr. Wang of the middle class organized the children to play with toys and toy cars indoors. At this moment, the baby came over. He also wants to play with Xiao Zhao's toy car. The baby said to Xiao Zhao, "Xiao Zhao, do you want to borrow your toy car to play?" I want to play with toy cars, too. Xiao Zhao disagreed: "No, I still want to play." Go and play with your own toys! ""The baby was so angry that he reached for the toy car and played, almost pushing Xiao Zhao down. Teacher Wang, the head teacher, rushed over after seeing it, grabbed the toy car in the baby's hand and said sternly to the baby, "Who told you to rob others?" If Xiao Zhao won't play for you, why don't you push him? What if you hurt him? And learned to hit children? Apologize to Xiao Zhao! "After that, the teacher gently comforted Xiao Zhao and asked Xiao Zhao to forgive the baby and return the toy to him.

Teacher Wang, the head teacher, chose to intervene as soon as the conflict occurred, and did not give the baby a chance to solve the conflict alone. Although teachers can effectively prevent children from being hurt in conflicts, it undoubtedly deprives children of the opportunity to develop their own conflict resolution. It can be said that Mr. Wang didn't grasp the educational opportunity in this child conflict, and the child didn't learn anything from this conflict.

In the subsequent interview, Mr. Wang said frankly that this is mainly because children are afraid of violence in disputes, and conflicts between children will escalate, causing physical harm to children in conflict. Teacher Wang believes that kindergarten teachers should first protect children from harm and ensure their health. Peer conflicts among children are likely to develop into violent conflicts among children. Protecting children from harm is more important than educating and guiding children to form their own conflict resolution strategies in conflicts.

It is common for children to intervene when they are in conflict. Teacher Wang is not the only one who has done this. It can be seen from Mr. Wang's words that the reason why preschool teachers can't wait to get involved in the peer conflict of preschool children is out of consideration for the safety of preschool children. However, it deprives children of the opportunity to solve peer conflicts independently and weakens their ability to solve problems independently. Because they have not formed their own strategies to solve peer conflicts, children will rely more on teachers when peer conflicts occur.

2. It is too late to interfere with children's peer conflicts.

Case 2:

Today, in the middle class football class, Mr. Huang made the children stand in four rows. Grandpa's coach organized the children to practice playing football in groups, and the children who finished playing football were at the end of the team. After playing the ball, Xiao Wu ran walked to the middle of the team with the ball in his arms. The children in the middle of the team were unhappy and shouted, "Xiao Wu, you are standing wrong, you cut in line!" " Stand in the back! "Xiao Wu took the ball and refused to support either side. The children quarreled with Xiao Wu. Mr. Huang stood outside the football field and saw that the child had a dispute and did not intervene immediately. Xiao Wu refused to go to the back to choose the side station, so Yan Yan gave Xiao Wu an angry push. Xiao Wu had a ball in his hand, and one of them fell to the ground unsteadily. Xiao Wu cried in pain. Teacher Huang Ran helps Xiao Wu. When he saw it, Xiao Wu's legs were bruised.

Teacher Huang in this case did not intervene in time after discovering the child's peer conflict, which led to the physical conflict of the child in this case and hurt Xiao Wu. In the subsequent interview, teacher Huang, the class teacher, told me that she didn't intervene immediately after discovering that Xiao Wu had a peer conflict with other children, mainly because she wanted to give the children a chance to solve the conflict alone and form a solution strategy. The teacher said that in the whole process of the conflict, she was closely monitoring, just to help the children solve the conflict at the right time and help them solve the problem before the conflict escalated. But even though teachers pay close attention, there are still children injured in the conflict. Teacher Huang said: In the case of conflict, it is really difficult to educate children and protect them from harm.

In my opinion, it is not advisable to interfere with children's peer conflict too early, but it is also not advisable for teachers to interfere with children's peer conflict too late. Teacher Huang's original intention is to give children enough time and opportunities to form their own conflict resolution strategies and abilities. However, once a child is physically injured, it will not only do great harm to his health, but also make him afraid of his own conflict resolution, which is not conducive to the formation and development of his own conflict resolution strategies and abilities. And in this case, children will be more excited and excited when they have football lessons outdoors. Moreover, children have football that is easy to hurt others, which is likely to lead children to escalate language conflicts into physical conflicts, and the possibility of children being hurt increases, making it more difficult for teachers to monitor. Therefore, teachers should carry out educational activities at the time and place they can control to avoid adverse consequences.

(b) Problems in intervention methods

1. Interfere with children's peer conflicts in a simple and rude way.

Case 3:

Today, Qian Qian brought the car that his mother bought for him. He proudly said to Xiao Huang beside him, "Look, the new toy my mother bought me is really beautiful, and it can bark. Will you catch the big bad guy? " Xiao Huang also likes Qian Qian's small toy police car, so he reaches out to play with Qian Qian's car. Qian Qian was very angry. He snatched the toy car back and spat in Xiao Huang's face. The teacher just walked into the classroom and saw Qian Qian bullying the children. He was very angry. Teacher Zhang pulled: "Can you stand it, Qian Qian, and spit on the child?" Who taught you that? Are you happy that others spit on you? The teacher threatened Qian Qian: "There is nothing to do today." . Let the children in our class spit on you and let you feel it. "Qian Qian burst into tears. Crying and telling me never to, teacher, I dare not. I don't want people to spit on me. Never again. "

In this case, teacher Zhang adopted a simple and rude educational strategy when solving the contradiction between money and money. It is not correct for the teacher to threaten money to stop spitting on other children. Qian Qian was just scared by the teacher. In fact, he didn't really realize that it was wrong to spit on children. Intimidation will only temporarily stop the child's behavior, but it will not fundamentally solve the problem. Moreover, it will leave a certain psychological shadow on Qian Qian. After the teacher intervened in children's peer conflicts, Qian Qian did not have positive emotions, and his emotional experience was even fearful.

Doing so will also bring some bad effects to other children. Many children like to imitate others, especially their parents and teachers. For those in conflict, the conflict resolution strategy he learned from Mr. Zhang is: he spat at me and I spat at him. Teachers' behavior will make children use more strategies such as threats and complaints when dealing with peer conflicts in the future, which is not conducive to the development of children's good behavior.

In the daily kindergarten teaching process, it is very common to interfere with children's peer conflict in a simple and rude way. For example, children on both sides of peer conflict are educated by threats. Many teachers will use the words "You can't go home if you don't obey/the police will take you away/send you to other classes" to scare children so that they won't be naughty again. On the surface, the teacher successfully stopped the child's peer conflict, and the child did not dare to make the same mistake again for a period of time. But rough methods can't educate children. Children are just afraid of committing crimes under the authority of teachers. They don't know what they have done wrong and how to change it. The way of threatening will also leave a psychological shadow on children, which is not conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind.

2. Teachers command and control children when solving peer conflicts.

Case 4:

In the morning, in the outdoor activities of the big class, the teacher asked the children to play with cloth balls. Jun Jun ran and threw his cloth ball for fun. Inadvertently, Jun Jun lost the ball, and he hurried to find it. Jun Jun's cloth ball landed next to the small tree. Xiaoshu always wanted to play with Jun Jun's cloth ball. After he picked it up, he didn't return it to Jun Jun, but went to play by himself. Jun Jun looked around and found the little tree playing with his own ball. He went over to the little tree and said, "This is my cloth ball. Give it back to me. " With that, Jun Jun reached for the ball and knocked down the little book that was having a good time. Miss Lin was watching the children play games when she saw the little book fall and came over. After understanding the situation, the teacher said to Jun Jun, "Apologize to Xiaoshu quickly" and said to Xiaoshu, "Jun Jun didn't mean it, so forgive him".

In the case, Mr. Lin helped the child solve the peer conflict, which was fair and reasonable, but also avoided the child's safety problems. However, she took the method of forcing Jun Jun to apologize, without considering the children's autonomy or explaining the reasons for apologizing to them. Although Jun Jun apologized to Xiaoshu, he didn't understand why he apologized. After the teacher's intervention, Jun Jun had no positive emotional experience, and he didn't believe it. He doesn't understand that it's wrong to hit a child. Because of the negative emotional experience, the next time Jun Jun encounters the same problem, he may not necessarily adopt the solution strategy provided by the teacher. In this way, teachers' educational activities did not achieve the expected educational effect.

This kind of problem is also common in teachers' work. Teachers tend to make such mistakes when solving children's peer conflicts, and tend to look at the problem from their own perspective. According to their own observation, teachers let themselves think about the causes of conflicts and how to solve them, rather than children, and order children to solve problems in the right way, which deprives children of the opportunity to solve conflicts independently and hinders the formation of strategies for children to solve peer conflicts. In addition, it is subjective and arbitrary for teachers to evaluate children's behavior in peer conflicts from their own point of view, which may lead to unfair results and bring adverse effects on children's body and mind.

(3) the problem of intervention attitude

1. Do not interfere with conflicts between children, and face conflicts between children in a perfunctory manner.

Case 5:

At lunch, Tong Tong and Xiao Mu sit together to eat. Tong Tong's handkerchief fell to the ground, and Xiao Mu was absorbed in eating. He didn't see Tong Tong's handkerchief under his feet. He accidentally stepped on a few feet and stained Tong Tong's handkerchief. The students saw that their handkerchiefs were trampled by Xiao Mu and shouted to the teacher, "Teacher, Xiao Mu stepped on my handkerchiefs." Miss Zhou is too busy helping other children eat, so she has no time to reason with her. She said to her, "The teacher will take care of it for you after dinner. Now eat first. " After dinner, the classmates forgot about it, and the teacher didn't help her.

In this case, teachers took an indifferent intervention attitude in the face of the conflict between Tong Tong and Xiao Mu. In the interview afterwards, Mr. Zhou told me that the reason why I ignored the conflict between my classmates and me was because the children often clashed in such trivial matters as fighting for seats, you stepping on my handkerchief and I touching you. Such things often happen and have no educational value.

Through observation and interviews, I found that in the actual teaching process of kindergartens, there are very few situations that do not interfere with the conflicts between children. Teachers do not interfere in conflicts between children mainly because they believe that children have the ability to solve conflicts independently, or think that some conflicts often occur and lack educational value.

In fact, teachers may find it annoying and useless to repeatedly intervene in similar conflicts every day, but every little thing has its educational value and significance. Teachers should be more patient with children. At the same time, even if the child has certain conflict resolution ability, the teacher should pay attention to the ongoing conflict to prevent the child from having an accident.

2. I don't believe that children have their own ability to solve contradictions and control children authoritatively.

Case 6:

After the morning activities, Mr. Lin in the small class will take the children to outdoor activities. It's a little cold outside. The teacher arranged for the children to put on their coats in the dressing room. Haohao returned to the classroom with his coat. Seeing that Ningning had achieved her seat, she shouted loudly, "You are sitting in the wrong position, that's my seat." Ningning is withholding her seat, ignoring Haohao. Haohao was very angry, so he dragged Ningning with his hand and shouted, "This is my seat, please get out of the way." Ningning refused, Hao Hao pushed hard and accidentally pushed Ningning. Teacher Lin came over and pulled Hao Hao and said, "Isn't it just a seat? What about you? Apologize to Ningning. " After Hao Hao apologized, he said to Ningning, "It doesn't matter to tell the children, alas, that's right."

Teacher Lin's practice in the case is a typical authoritative control of young children. According to his own observation and understanding, Mr. Lin directly concluded the conflict between Ningning and Ningning, demanding an apology to Ningning and asking Ningning to forgive. In the process of resolving the conflict, Mr. Lin did not ask the opinions of both sides of the conflict, did not explain to them the reasons for doing so, and did not ask Hao Hao and Ning Ning whether they agreed with their own practices. In the whole process, Mr. Lin claimed to be an authority, asked himself to think about the causes and solutions of contradictions instead of children, and ordered children to solve problems in the way that teachers thought was right.

In the interview, Teacher Lin told me that she did this because both sides of the conflict were children in small classes. In teacher Lin's eyes, children in small classes are incompetent, and everything depends on the teacher. They can't solve the problem by themselves, and they don't understand much. That's why she adopts this attitude to help children solve conflicts. In kindergartens, many teachers take authoritative control to solve children's peer conflicts. These teachers don't believe that children have the ability to solve problems by themselves, and they are impatient to explain the truth to children carefully. In this way, conflict is not regarded as an opportunity for children to learn social interaction, and the result of conflict resolution and its influence on children are not taken into account, which is very unfavorable to children's social development.