situation
A middle school in Beijing severely picketed the problem of "puppy love". The head teacher asked each student to anonymously report the "relevant personnel" in the class and then vote on the spot. Two or three people wrote the names of a girl and a boy, and the teacher believed them and said, "It's okay to be young, but you learned to fall in love without studying homework!" "
There was laughter in the class, and everyone cast a contemptuous look at the unfortunate girl and boy. The boy clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. The girl ran out crying. ...
Later, before the boy transferred to another school, he wrote a letter to the girl and made it public. He said in the letter: "The teacher asked parents to hand in their papers, but neither you nor I wrote them. Because we all know that this is really pure friendship! The most exasperating thing is that our parents don't understand us either.
My parents scolded me severely. My mother was invited by the teacher. She never scolded me loudly at ordinary times, but she said that about me that day. Why don't teachers and parents understand our friendship? Do boys and girls have to fall in love if they are close?
My parents said that at that time, boys and girls seldom spoke; It is also said that one of the secrets of a famous teacher's success is not to let boys talk to girls. Why are they so feudal? Is this normal? "
Analysis of Puppy Love Psychology of Students and Its Causes
1. Due to the gradual maturity of body and mind,
Now that students' minds and bodies are mature, they naturally have a desire for the opposite sex, for the attention of the opposite sex, and for making friends with the opposite sex.
2. Affected by the external environment
Compared with the boring classroom teaching now, students are more willing to accept the freshness and excitement brought by various media. Middle school students, in particular, have strong imitation ability and are easy to accept the concept of love in film and television works, which leads to puppy love among middle school students.
3. Lack of sex education.
The lack of sex education and love education in current school education. Someone once commented on the current situation of sex education: "Parents dare not talk, teachers choose to talk, and students steal to watch." We can't deny that sex education is a blind spot in quite a few schools.
In today's information age, middle school students can learn about sexual knowledge through various channels. If the normal channels are not smooth, they will be forced to learn through abnormal channels, which will bring them a stronger yearning, and the wrong things and even yellow things will take advantage of it.
4. Students' own vulnerability.
Nowadays, students have weak resistance to setbacks and often can't stand setbacks in life and study. When they are depressed, they are more likely to find the opposite sex to talk to and comfort. With the continuous development and deepening of communication, puppy love often occurs between students of the opposite sex.
Case:
Zhang Li and Wang Qiang left a good impression on each other in their studies and activities. At first, Zhang and Wang's academic performance has been excellent. With their increasing contact, their performance has declined a lot. ...
I found out and had a heart-to-heart talk with them. First of all, I understood their relationship, and then I told them that we must deal with the contradiction between friends of the opposite sex and study, and distinguish what is important and what is secondary.
At the same time, through the side analysis of interests and collective discussion, let the whole class speak freely, inspire and guide them to draw a correct conclusion, and tell the students not to make a fuss, and not to blindly regard it as "puppy love", but as a normal communication between the students. ...
This not only gave them the space for free communication, but also limited their unlimited development space, and handled the relationship between learning and communication well ... Since then, Zhang Hewang's academic performance has climbed all the way and embarked on a normal study and life track.
How to deal with students' puppy love?
Proceed from the reality of students' special age, respect them and understand them. As long as we find the "breakthrough point", "suit the remedy to the case", care and educate them with love, and be their "intimate friends" and "mentors", the real education will be implemented.
1. Find out the details and treat them differently.
Puppy love is more complicated. Some have long-term cooperation and mutual love, and both fall in love; Some seem to be close, have close contacts and like love, but in fact they are just ordinary friends; Some are madly in love, which belongs to unrequited love;
Yes, there is little surface contact, and the relationship is average. In fact, they have been in love for a long time and have been engaged in underground activities. Some people even lack self-control and have cheated, which no one knows yet.
This requires teachers to observe more in their daily work, master accurate information, find out the details of students, and be aware of problems when dealing with them. So as not to rock the boat and add unnecessary trouble.
2. Don't be rude
The interference of so-called puppy love makes many students feel nervous and afraid, as if boys and girls can't make friends normally. As long as boys and girls have more contact, it will be abnormal, and they will "walk into the misunderstanding of puppy love." This understanding of teachers and parents is actually pushing ignorant children to that "misunderstanding".
Adults realize that "puppy love" is extremely harmful, which will distract teenagers' attention and reduce their studies. In fact, the invisible pressure of puppy love is more harmful to teenagers.
3. Face up to the problem of communication between men and women
If communication with the opposite sex is a natural phenomenon without pressure, then students can better learn to communicate with others, including the opposite sex; You can turn your affection for the opposite sex into a driving force for learning and maximize your self-expression; We can learn from each other and learn from each other. Such children are easy to better adapt to modern society.
4. Guide the correct direction of communication
Adults should not look at and criticize them from an adult's point of view, because most of children's friends are not adults' relationships. It is better to teach them some necessary knowledge of physiology and sex science in adolescence, so that children can communicate with the opposite sex generously on the one hand, and increase their rational consciousness on the other hand, and learn to adjust and control their feelings.
The sexual consciousness of middle school students has sprouted, which is generally manifested as a unique emotional experience-yearning for the opposite sex, and some of them have developed to a deeper level and are universal.
As a teacher, you should realize that you should help students with a lifelong and responsible attitude, so that they can feel that you are not only a good teacher, but also a trustworthy and confided friend, and firmly establish a harmonious relationship of mutual trust between teachers and students, thus continuously promoting the healthy growth of students.
To solve the problem of puppy love among middle school students, our teachers should actively guide and not forcibly stop it by rough means, especially keep it secret and don't make public.