Nearly 60% of children in remarried families have depression. According to the statistics of Harbin First Specialized Hospital, from 2000 to 2006, the number of mental patients admitted to this hospital increased exponentially every year. Among these patients, 60% were forced to drop out of school, be laid off and retire because of mental illness, which changed their lives and destiny. The main reasons for their illness are family, social influence and psychological suggestion.

Children from remarried families have many psychological problems.

What effect will different family structures have on children's emotional state? Not long ago, a quantitative survey jointly conducted by relevant units conducted an in-depth study on this issue.

According to Zhang Yi, a psychologist in the First Specialized Hospital of Harbin, this study takes 19 12 students of grade five and six in nine primary schools in Harbin as the research objects, and designs 10 questionnaire items on emotional stability, emotional tension, fear, hostility and shyness by using the self-made EQ scale. At the same time, the students' parents' marital status and family structure were investigated by questionnaire, and the family structure was divided into four types: normal small family, normal big family, single-parent family and remarried family.

The survey shows that 40.5% children in remarried families are emotionally unstable. This is because the children of the first three types of families have been consistently educated by their parents and grandparents since childhood, and the care for their children is from the heart. However, children in remarried families are difficult to accept or accept completely because they have stepfathers or stepmothers, which will lead to psychological conflict. When I am with my biological parents, I show happy and free emotions and behaviors; Show indifference and formality in front of stepfather and stepmother.

Statistics show that 2 1.6% children in remarried families have serious emotional distress, 18.9% children are nervous, and 56.8% children have strong depression. These figures are higher than the percentage of similar indicators in other family types. This is because the status of children from remarried families in newly established families, communication with stepfathers or stepmothers, freedom in family life, and economic dominance all have a certain distance or difference from their biological parents' lives, which makes them feel worried, nervous, depressed, uneasy and other unhealthy emotions. Similarly, the number of children with serious emotional anxiety in single-parent families is as high as 2 1. 1%, which is related to the psychological stimulation they received when their parents divorced or lost their parents.

"The mental health of children in remarried families is an important issue that cannot be ignored. The parents' divorce or the loss of their parents made these children go through a difficult time, and their parents' remarriage made them face a more complicated living environment. In the long run, it is difficult for children's physical and mental development to be normal. Therefore, remarried families should strengthen communication with their children, create a relaxed study and living environment, satisfy their children mentally as much as possible, and guide them to reduce their psychological burden. We should not only give these children a complete family, but also give them complete fatherly love and maternal love. In addition, the consistency and consistency of family education is particularly important in remarried families. Compensatory love or laissez-faire can easily cause emotional abnormalities in children. " Zhang Yi said.

Don't care about other people's comments easily. Zhang Yi told reporters that many teenagers are very concerned about others' evaluation of themselves. You can't decide whether you are good or bad. The decision is left to others. There are many children who pay too much attention to their own image and are very critical of themselves, such as short stature, fat figure, small eyes and too short and thin hair. Some even blame themselves for being born in the countryside, complaining that their families are too poor and so on. They belittle themselves and fall into endless pain, trouble and loneliness. This is a typical emotional experience of not accepting yourself and your parents. In the long run, in the process of their growth, they will set up various obstacles for themselves, which will not only block their road to success, but also seriously harm their physical and mental health.

Many mental illnesses come from hints.

Maybe everyone has had this experience? Originally, I wore a dress that I thought was beautiful to work, but as a result, several colleagues said it didn't look good. When the first colleague said it, you might think it was just her personal opinion, but with more people talking about it, you gradually began to doubt your judgment and aesthetic vision. So when I came home from work, the first thing I did was change my clothes and decided not to wear them to work again.

"In fact, this is psychological suggestion at work. Hints often make others unconsciously act in a certain way, or accept certain opinions or beliefs uncritically. It can be seen that suggestion can make people's emotions and ideas be influenced by others' subconscious to varying degrees. " Zhang Yi said.

According to Zhang Yi, psychological research has found that people will unconsciously accept the influences and hints of people they like, worship, trust and worship. This enables people to accept the guidance of the wise, as a supplement to the imperfect "self", which implies the positive side.

Hints also have a negative side, that is, they are easily manipulated and controlled. The premise of psychological suggestion is the imperfection and defect of "self". If a person's "self" is very fragile and naive, then this person's "self" is easily occupied and ruled by others' "hints", and this person's personality itself has a serious tendency to rely on it. Everyone's psychological characteristics and nerve types are different, and their feelings and results of suggestion are also different. People can be divided into four temperament types: choleric, neurotic, sanguine and mucinous. Most people have several of these four temperament types at the same time. People with gallbladder fluid are the easiest to accept psychological hints, while people with mucus fluid are slower to respond to psychological hints. Most women are more receptive to psychological cues than men, and the elderly and children are more receptive to psychological cues than young people. Surprisingly, a person's intelligence level and education level have no decisive role in accepting psychological hints. Although psychological suggestion will have a positive or negative impact on our lives, don't blindly believe it and be completely influenced by it. Because external encouragement or criticism is a problem that everyone must face, if you always change yourself because of other people's attitudes, you will never mature. ——.com———

Appreciation of Eight Wisdom of Parents Educating Children: the Source of Knowledge and Progress

Appreciation is the strongest demand in human heart. For children, because of their young age and childish psychology, their deepest need and most essential desire is to be appreciated by others, especially their parents.

Dream: wings to create miracles

Childhood is the hometown of dreams, and dreams are the wings to fly tomorrow. Educational psychology shows that if a person has a dream in his heart, he will live in hope and constantly create miracles of life.

Knowledge: the lever of self-reliance and success

Knowledge changes fate, and learning makes the future.

Bacon once said, "Knowledge is power." Gorky once said: "The wider a person's knowledge, the more perfect he is."

Knowledge is a powerful lever for children to stand on their own feet. With it, children can pry up their own good life.

Personality: the cornerstone of vigorous growth

A child's mind is a blank sheet of paper. What you plant there, you will reap. On this piece of white paper, conduct is the cornerstone of a child's healthy growth and will affect the fate of a child's life.

Habit: a shortcut to the future.

Ye Shengtao, a famous educator in China, said: "Education is to cultivate habits. Habit is like walking. If people choose a path, they will follow it. Good habits are a shortcut for children to lead a bright future, which can make children grow up healthily without knowing it; Bad habits are like chains on the body, and every step hinders the development of children.

Psychology: a pillar based on society

If people's psychology, especially children's psychology is unhealthy and there are obstacles, it will not only affect their normal growth, but also cause other social problems. Family environment and parents' education will have great influence on children's mental health. However, many parents only pay attention to let their children exercise, but ignore their mental health.

Communication: A Bridge of Empathy

Harmonious parent-child communication is not only the basis of maintaining family ties between parents and children, but also the basis of mutual communication and understanding. A bridge to improve the effect of training and education. Harmonious parent-child communication can enhance each other's feelings, enhance children's self-confidence, make children feel love, appreciation and acceptance in good parent-child relationship, and then establish a positive self-image and healthy personality, and embark on the road of successful life.

Example: a subtle secret.

Family is a child's first class, and parents are a child's first teacher. Parents want to train their children to be adults, but the key to educating their children is to set an example first.

Emptiness is the devil in your heart. He said in confusion: "Look at other colleagues, the work is always full of enthusiasm; Have fun. I think everything is boring. Nothing is interesting. This kind of mood makes me bored, lazy and lonely all day, but I don't know how to get rid of it. How come others live so full and I am so empty? "

The questions raised by the clerk are like a dark cloud hanging over some young people's minds. This is what we usually call "emptiness". In the impression of many young people, the words "loneliness" and "loneliness" are often common, but in fact they are different. One of the most important points is that "loneliness" and "loneliness" are not always negative for people, and sometimes even mark a person's unique personality. But "emptiness" can only kill people's fighting spirit, erode people's souls and make people's lives worthless.

Emptiness is an inner experience. Whenever we hear some catchwords such as "Alas, it's boring" and "Alas, I see through the world", we say that he is a person with an empty heart. But in fact, the real feeling of emptiness can only be understood, but not expressed. Only an empty person can truly appreciate it, and it is difficult for others to deeply appreciate it. So it is difficult for people who feel empty to communicate with others. If they don't work hard, they will only be surrounded by emptiness.

Emptiness can happen at any time. Pay attention to the surrounding environment, some middle school students have just entered a new class group, and they will feel incomprehensible and helpless because they are not accepted in time; Some middle school students can't get trust and respect because of their poor study and discipline; Some middle school students are bound by the heavy burden of study, and they will feel that middle school life is not as poetic as expected ... at these times, emptiness may take advantage of it. If you happen to be a person with poor psychological endurance, you are more likely to be conquered by emptiness.

Psychologically speaking, emptiness is a negative emotion. This is one of its most important features. Without exception, those who are attacked by emptiness are those who lose confidence in their ideals and future and have no correct understanding of the meaning of life. They are either negative and disappointed and indifferent to life, or they have no vitality and shake their heads when they meet people. In order to get rid of emptiness, they either smoke and drink, or fight, or wander aimlessly and indulge in some kind of game, but then they are at a loss and spend a wonderful time needlessly. Emptiness brings only harm.

Facing emptiness, the most important thing is to have ideals. As the saying goes, "treat the disease first" because the sense of emptiness is mainly caused by the loss of ideals, beliefs and pursuits. Establishing lofty ideals and clear life goals has become the most powerful weapon to eliminate the sense of emptiness. Of course, this process can't be accomplished overnight, but when you work hard towards your life goals, emptiness will quietly leave you.

In the face of emptiness, we must cultivate enthusiasm for life. We often say that life is beautiful, depending on how you treat it. The same blue sky and white clouds, the same mountains and seas, you can take the initiative to feel the beauty of nature; Or seriously learn some skills, help others do some good things, but also be quite proud of their success and get pleasure from others' thanks. When you use meaningful things to cultivate your enthusiasm for life and fill the gaps in life, how can you have the mood and leisure to be empty?

Facing emptiness, we should actively improve our psychological quality. Sometimes, people live in the same environment, but because of their different psychological qualities, some people give up when they encounter a little setback and are easily troubled by emptiness, while others are always happy and full in the face of difficulties and never flinch. Therefore, consciously strengthening the training of self-psychological quality can eliminate emptiness in the bud in time and not give it a chance to attack further.

When you fight stubbornly against emptiness, please remember Pushkin's poem: "Life will not make me tired."

Teach children to resolve "grievances"

If parents are not careful and ignore their children's emotions, then this unfairness is likely to cause psychological trauma to their children and affect their healthy personality in the future. Therefore, parents need to listen to their children's grievances and guide them to express them. ——.com

In addition, parents should not use reason to suppress their children's emotions. In the process of communicating with children, it is easy for parents to make "reasoning" mistakes. In fact, those truths have a depressing effect on children's expression, and children will feel that they should have done that instead of doing that, so they feel even more wrong. In fact, if you put yourself in the other's shoes, adults will inevitably not handle such things well, and they may also make mistakes they shouldn't have made. It is reasonable that children should not do it even if they are still young. Parents should not apply the requirements of adults to their children, let alone say "you should have done that" or "you should have done that in the future".

When dealing with emotions, parents should especially guide their children to express their anger at this matter. Anger is the most easily repressed emotion, and suppressing anger is not good for children's growth. In order to prevent children from having opinions on school teachers and affecting teachers' attitude towards themselves in the future, parents often resolve or suppress children's anger towards teachers and discourage children from expressing anger. This is actually a misunderstanding. If you go into this misunderstanding, even if the children are obedient on the surface, they will tend to transfer their anger to the depths of their hearts, accumulate it, turn "the teacher is wrong" into "I am wrong", reduce self-evaluation, and lead to children's retreat and passive slackness, and not concentrate on their studies.

If the teacher really hurts the child objectively, the mother needs to stand on the side of the child and be a strong supporter of the child, instead of caring too much and avoiding contact with the school. Because parents looking for the school to explain the situation is a kind of protection for their children's dignity. However, parents don't have to take the way of "finding reasons", but should have a calm attitude, especially to let their children know the situation they have solved and eliminate the influence of misunderstanding between teachers and classmates on their hearts. Let children feel that they are not alone, let children learn to judge and think for themselves slowly in the process of resolving "grievances", and cultivate a calm and healthy mentality.

Psychological analysis of college students' graduation and its slow-release methods Except for a few students with clear goals and firm choices, most students are at a loss about their graduation choices. Strangely, gradually the students began to talk about these topics in the dormitory, just like avoiding the plague. Whenever someone casually talks about this topic, or involuntarily thinks about whether to stay after graduation, there will be tension, anxiety, depression and fear in their hearts.

This kind of psychology is called "graduation phobia"

First, fear of choice

Men's. Life is a life of choice. What kind of person do you want to be, how can you become that person and how can you realize the life you want. Where are you going? Is there any way to go? Everything depends on you. This choice is called freedom in philosophy. Judging from the actual social and psychological situation of human beings, most people are unwilling to choose new life and new things because of the influence of their habitual life. I have an instinctive wait-and-see attitude towards the life I have never tried. When I have to make a choice, I will have a kind of hesitation and fear. Social psychologist Freud called this phenomenon "free escape".

Secondly, fear is unknown.

Unknown is the other side of mystery. Fear of the unknown is a deeper social psychology of fear choice. Otto, a contemporary Swiss theologian, found that mystery has two characteristics: one is desirable, and the other is frightening. For optimists, desire is more than fear; For an alarmist, there is more fear than desire. Originally, for college students who are about to move towards a new life, the future is not only a desire and temptation, but also a fear and worry. But the current reality has tilted the normal psychology of fear and yearning.

Third, fear of society.

Chinese education is a kind of reading education, not life education. Since ancient times, there has been a saying that "the book has its own golden house, and the book has its own Yan Ruyu". This concept continues to this day. Since kindergarten, the school is like a high wall, separating it from society, students and adults. Parents and schools generally believe that the only thing to do in school is to study. As for how to make money, how to be an official, how to sell yourself, how to get along with others better, how to get happiness, how to face difficulties and how to solve psychological problems, these social knowledge and life knowledge are all self-knowledge. Until I graduated from college and entered the society. College students suddenly feel so "ignorant" about the world they are about to enter. On the other hand, near graduation, some information from all sides makes them more uneasy. Society is complicated, and what we learn in school is different from the reality of social life. Being a man is more important than the book knowledge we have mastered. There is an old saying in China that "books are used, but few people hate them". Now, for college graduates, what they feel most is that they have learned too little about being a man and doing things after entering the society.

Fourth, fear yourself.

Parents and schools have given their children a wrong message since childhood, telling them that everything will be easy as long as they are admitted to universities, especially famous universities. Up to now, there is still a classic motto of China, "You should wear leather shoes when you are admitted to a university, but you can't wear sandals when you are admitted to a university". This traditional view of elite education in universities makes parents and students regard being admitted to universities as a symbol of gaining social status, and makes them maintain high expectations for their life after graduation. But in the real world, graduates face many difficulties in finding jobs. The great contrast between expectation and reality, the general mismatch between majors and practical work, the lack of social knowledge and practice, and the mysterious fear of the unknown and society make many students begin to doubt their ability to work and adapt to society. They keep asking themselves: Can a person like me find a suitable job? Can you create a happy life in your future life? And before entering the society, no one can answer all this.

V. Slow-release method

Psychologically speaking, fear of choice, fear of the unknown, fear of society and fear of oneself are common social psychology, but when these psychology are superimposed together, it has formed unimaginable psychological pressure on college graduates who are not deeply involved in society. How to relieve and release this kind of psychology is a subject that pedagogy and psychology should explore. The existing methods are as follows:

(1) As far as the parties are concerned, it is a psychological growth process that most contemporary college graduates will experience to understand some psychological knowledge first and regard graduation fear as a normal psychology that everyone has. Secondly, we should use analogy with ourselves and tell ourselves in our hearts that it's nothing. Those who are successful and happy have to go through such a psychological process. Third, facing the unknown, facing the society and facing the challenge of new life, we should have positive psychological hints. Believe in your ability and strength. Finally, don't avoid talking about graduation. Students should imagine and look forward to the future from a beautiful perspective.

(2) Pay attention to the psychological changes of students during this period from the aspects of family and school. Give emotional understanding and care. Give psychological encouragement and encouragement, and convey more positive content from the information.

(3) From the social perspective, China's education should not only reflect on the lack of innovation, but also reflect on the separation of education from society, life and life. This is the fundamental prescription to cure college students' fear of graduation.

Causes and countermeasures of high incidence of social psychological problems

It takes a lot of manpower and material resources to prevent, calm and deal with incidents caused by psychological problems. More seriously, the spread of unhealthy psychology and abnormal psychology is easy to form social thoughts (such as hating officials and the rich), deconstructing authority and confusing values. The most direct consequence is the tearing of ethnic groups and social differentiation, which makes social integration difficult.

The reasons for the high incidence of social psychological problems,

First, the "anomie" caused by rapid social changes, the differentiation of values and the lag of institutional changes have made the "inadaptability" of social psychology rise, and the emergence of psychological problems is inevitable?

Second, the accelerated pace of life has increased psychological tension and pressure. Third, socially recognized inequalities have not been solved for a long time, such as farmers, education, medical care, housing, high income of monopoly enterprises, high consumption of power departments and so on. There is a strong sense of relative deprivation in society, and the trend of "equal wealth" is easy to resonate with the bottom society, thus forming psychological and emotional opposition. Fourth, the society lacks the institutional framework to relieve psychological tension, soothe mental loneliness and treat mental illness. Governments at all levels are very passive in dealing with social and psychological problems. Fifth, the function of social education system is lacking. No matter family, school, work unit or society, they don't pay enough attention to it, and they don't know how to carry out personality education and psychological counseling. The quick success of education makes educators pay too much attention to knowledge and skills education and ignore mental health and spiritual cultivation. ——

The author believes that solving social psychological problems can be carried out from the following aspects:

First, accelerate social construction focusing on improving people's livelihood. It is necessary to speed up the pace of reform, adjust the interest structure through institutional changes, and balance the goals and demands of all classes and groups. At present, the urgent affairs mainly include the adjustment of distribution system, the reform of welfare system and public service, the restriction and regulation of privileged profit-making groups, the social supply of the bottom class and so on.

Second, reform the educational objectives and contents. Compile a family education guide to help parents scientifically guide their children's psychological development and personality formation; Set up psychological popularization courses and psychological consultation rooms in schools; Conduct an annual psychological assessment of students. Schools and employers should establish psychological counseling institutions and extensively carry out psychological counseling activities.

Third, analyze and guide public opinion. Pay attention to the network dynamics, organize experts to often analyze the social thoughts and various bad psychological manifestations appearing on the network, and openly analyze and guide them to make the mainstream voice unimpeded.

Fourth, strengthen the guidance of the second generation of migrant workers. We should have regular dialogues with migrant workers, especially the second generation migrant workers, to help them design barrier-free goals for their personal development.

Fifth, improve the binding standards for social elites. Teaching academic fraud, personal ethics of corrupt officials, scandals of public figures ... it's time to make up your mind to clean up these unhealthy phenomena. If the demonstration problem of social elites is not solved, the distortion of social psychology will become more and more serious.

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