There are multiple plots. Choose what you want.

(student) A, (yogurt seller) B, (medicine seller) C, (knife buyer) D, (vest seller) E, (security guard) F.

B comes to the stage, and the students sit on the desk and do their homework.

A: Ah!

B: Ah (sighs), this school is really heavily guarded. (Looking around and walking towards the students) Classmate, is your teacher (looking and asking) there?

No. What can I do for you?

B: Oh! That's great! Classmate, do you know what milk is?

How could I not know! I

B: You don't know! Cows and milk are two different things, so don't mix them together. Cows are not milk, milk is not a cow, cows can't replace milk, and milk can't replace cows.

If you don't know what cow is and what milk is, just ask me what cow is and what milk is! I know what a cow is and what milk is, and I can tell you what a cow is and what milk is.

Don't treat milk as cow, treat cow as milk.

If you want cows and milk, buy cows and milk, so you have cows and milk.

Observe cows and milk carefully, and you will know what cows and milk are. ...

A: Stop! what the hell do you want？

Let me ask you another question. Do you know what the upgraded version of milk is?

A: Of course I know! I

B: You don't know! I'm telling you-this is yogurt!

Let me ask you another question. Do you know what the famous brand company of yogurt is?

A: I don't know!

This is Danny Neo Yogurt! As long as you use this product "Mengniu Yogurt", you can be admitted to Tsinghua Peking University.

Take a breath today, take a breath tomorrow, and take a sip of yogurt. Deep breathing is healthier. This product is made of milk residue from Mengniu, Yili, Guangming, Sanyuan, Sanlu and Nestle, and is rich in nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium and other elements, which is nutritious and healthy. After drinking, my waist and legs stopped hurting. Hey, your heart stopped beating.

So ... Is it still drinkable?

B: Gee ... Of course, my family has a kitten named Doraemon. It tastes lovely.

Make sure that you will feel dizzy, chest tightness and palpitation after drinking ... your vision will decline and your intelligence will decline.

Hey ... what did you say?

B: Hey! I mean, all these symptoms are gone ... Come on! Come on! Come on! Just try it.

A: (picks up the bottle) Ah! What are the loopholes?

B: Ah! This milk has a natural connection. I can't wait to remember you as soon as I see you.

A: (surprised) My God! What's the matter? ..... How did the floor rot? (Watching the milk fall to the ground)

B: So ... Oh! That's concentrated sulfuric acid, I tell you! Now many companies only pay attention to the safety of consumers' lives, but saying "yogurt" is not sour at all! Our ... this company cares nothing but its reputation. If you can't drink it, I have salt yogurt, nitrate yogurt, alkali yogurt, hydrogen yogurt, phosphate yogurt, lead yogurt, radium yogurt, amino acid milk and zinc gluconate oral yogurt. ...

A: Yes! You are disgusting, forget it, forget it, I don't want it (pushing the salesman away). I don't want you to affect my study. Let's go! Let's go Let's go

Hey ... don't worry, cats like to drink. Don't you like drinking? Come on! Come on! Come on! Come and buy a bottle and try it.

Is this delicious?

B: Certainly.

A: How much is it?

B: That's the point. Only need 3. 146538+0538 yuan. 56638.68666866667

Three yuan is enough. Here's five dollars. Give me two yuan in change.

B: Here is your one-yuan change. (One yuan, one yogurt)

(B walks down, A takes a sip and vomits)

C on the stage

Who are you looking for?

C: Classmate, you look like loess, and you look very weak. You must have been bitten by a hidden red bug, and your life will soon be over.

A: (touching the wound) No way. The school doctor said it would be fine to apply ointment.

Captain: He's trying to comfort you. Cryptochrome virus is highly toxic. After being bitten, the whole body meridians will reverse, and the game will be over in seven weeks.

A: Impossible.

C: I heard that Sam next door was bitten and disappeared for several days.

I also heard that people recently discovered the Sam in Jiulong River, but it has been ...

Who did you find?

C: Sam!

A: What! I'm Sam!

C: Oh, I remember, eh!

Ah, the second one is my brother!

C: That-that-whatever, it's over anyway.

A: Impossible. It's rare that I was good-looking and died at the hands of cryptochrome virus. It's bad luck, brother. Help me.

Actually, it's not that serious. If you have been there before, (take out a small bottle) but now you only need to take nitroglycerin produced by our factory for a course of treatment, to ensure that you ...

(a grabs it and drinks it)

A: Wait, do you have a license to buy medicine? Does this medicine have any side effects?

(a cough and vomiting)

C: Of course, I have a driver's license. Of course, I have side effects, such as backache and hand cramps.

A: What!

C: Ah! This is a mistake. Let me show you our licenses (pocket, take out a piece of paper). United Nations concentrated nitric acid plant. Sorry, this is wrong. (In his pocket, he takes out a piece of paper) Yes, look.

A: What the hell! Go on, go on, don't disturb my study.

C: Wait, take my medicine and give me the money.

Oh, here you are. This is a dime. Here you are.

C: that's outrageous.

Go, or I'll call the police.

resign

D on the stage

D: "why is there no one?" (walks up to the classmates) Students, don't be afraid ... I kill cows, but I don't kill people, students! How about a kitchen knife?

I am a poor student. Why did buy buy buy a kitchen knife?

Oh, you are wrong. This knife of mine is not an ordinary knife for killing cattle. Experts say it's high-tech, and the weapon spectrum is the first! (turning to the audience) Actually, I made it up!

A: which one ranks first?

D: wait a minute. (reaches into his pocket and takes out a piece of paper) Eight secrets of killing cattle? Wrong understanding.

(Reaching out and taking out a piece of paper from his pocket) Gamma knife-ah, this is called gamma knife! In the past, cows and pigs always liked to be alive and kicking. Since the gamma knife, even cows are tame!

Since the gamma knife, he has been good to me! What's the matter, brother? How about a hand? The last one, sold out, I went home.

A: I don't buy knives.

This knife of mine is not an ordinary knife. It was imported from new york, the capital of England.

A: What, I'm not good at geography, and neither are you, but you are fooling me like this.

Oh, it's new york, the capital of Japan.

A: Yes, but I still don't buy a knife.

Why do you say that, brother? This does not contain any preservatives! Moreover, it has many uses. It can sharpen pencils, test papers, manicure, cut double eyelids, perform martial arts and keep fit! At that time, Li, the first manager, became a hero of Jet Li with our knives! Good knife! Good knife! Hey, how are your classmates? Can I help you?

A: How much is it?

D: One hundred pounds.

A: Huh?

D (lifting the tool holder): Huh?

A: Can you make it cheaper?

D: ouch! It is very troublesome for you students to do business. Ok, I'll give you a discount, 200 yuan! Ok, ok, take a kitchen knife, and the next generation of Jet Li will be you.

Well, that's not right! Why is it getting more and more expensive!

D: what's the matter Look, 200 yuan, isn't the discount 200 yuan?

Oh, right, right, right, right.

(Ding stepped down and chased)

Well, that's not right!

E: (pulls A aside and says mysteriously) Hey hey, classmate, you are rich!

Oh, yes, I feel dizzy!

E: (slowly pulls out a small vest from his bag) Come on, let me show you something good!

A: Hey, isn't it just a vest?

E: No! Don't! Don't! It's a vest when you look far away, but it's also a vest when you look close. It's actually a vest.

A: A waste of time!

However, it is not an ordinary vest. This is a series of bulletproof vests produced by Pan Pan Food Co., Ltd., a world-famous brand.

A: So exaggerated! But what's the use of a poor student buying bulletproof vests?

E: classmate, the world is not peaceful now! Maybe at any time, a chicken bomb will fly to you, close to-boom! -The whole world is clean!

Wow, that's terrible! You make me tremble!

E: This classmate, seeing how smart you are, brother, I have completely lost blood. I'll give you the original price of 380 and the bargain price of 250!

A: What, 250, you grab it, don't buy it!

E: Classmate, this is the most advanced bulletproof vest in the world. Only 1 0,000 pieces were sold in the world, such as bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Putin and Bush. Tell you the truth, the original price is 380, and you can give it to 180!

That's too expensive, and it's autumn. I can't wear this vest!

E: classmate, you don't understand this. I remember a foreign aunt said well: "Autumn has come, can summer be far behind?" Tell you what, classmate, how about you buy this vest and I give you a high-grade slipper for free?

A: Oh, my God! What do I need slippers for!

E: This is my destiny.

Hey-hey, what's wrong with you?

E: This classmate, to tell you the truth, I am old and young, and a large group of children at home are waiting for me to eat this meal with their mouths open-wow-who can be worse than me! Classmate, please have pity on me! Well, the cost price 150! A: Brother, don't be too sad. I want this vest! !

Einstein: (laughs) Yes! It's done.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing? I can go by myself! " B, c, d and e are pushed onto the stage by F.

F: "You four boys! When the safety of our school is air. "

end

E: There are many such bad salesmen in our life, so we must be on guard against being cheated.

(Bow, step down, the policeman pushes the salesman)

E: Let's go.