"It's all customary. Just have a meal."

"At that time, which child dared to challenge his parents? Nowadays, children are getting more and more lawless. "

……

Yes, why are children so difficult to manage nowadays?

Respect one moment and understand another. What do they want?

Parents shouted that their children were incomprehensible, but the children also expressed grievances: Why don't parents understand me?

In fact, in order to "manage" a good child, the first thing parents need to do is to know your child.

What you must know is that today's children have already grown up with the pace of the times, but sadly, the parenting style of parents still stays in the concept of the older generation.

Since we want to understand children now, children will grow up to be what their parents don't understand. What is the difference between modern children and their predecessors?

How should parents "play tricks" with their children in the new era?

Modern children have a heavy emotional burden.

I am born in 1980s, and most of my generation are only children, although parents don't need to share their feelings with several brothers and sisters like the previous generation.

But at that time, material life was generally poor, and a family needed money to eat, drink and raise children.

Therefore, most of the children at that time grew up savagely, and all parents could give you was food, warm clothes and books to read.

As for whether you study well or not, your parents really don't have the ability and energy to manage it.

Although the material conditions were not very good, at that time, our sense of happiness was still relatively strong.

As long as you finish your homework and don't guarantee to play in the river, you can run all over the mountain, and your parents don't care at all.

The friends in the yard want to make phone calls, play until dark, go home, grab two meals and go to bed.

It is rare to hear that any child has psychological problems and wants to commit suicide or something.

But children today are not so happy.

School homework is just an appetizer, there are all kinds of cram schools to attend, and there are endless interest classes.

Parents' requirements for their children are that they have many interests and hobbies, study first, and they can be admitted to famous schools in the future.

However, there are so many famous schools. Who can guarantee that your child can pass the exam?

Many parents understand this truth, so all kinds of chickens and babies win at the starting line, which are arranged for children.

Children will inevitably have emotions, but parents can earnestly say: how much money we have spent for you and how many relationships we have found, don't let us down.

Under such a heavy emotional burden, it is impossible for children to grow up healthily.

Either you are weak, or you resist, run away from home or even commit suicide.

I often hear some parents say when reprimanding disobedient children: I'd rather not have you as a child.

But in fact, if children can choose, they may not be willing to be our children.

Modern children have a high demand for the right to speak.

When we were young, we often heard parents educate their children to say: Parents say you are doing it for your own good, and children should not interrupt when adults are talking.

In fact, sometimes, we also know that what parents say is not necessarily right, but the authority of parents lies there, and few children dare to "pout" with their parents.

But children are different now. What they want is equal dialogue with their parents.

What you said is wrong. Why should I listen to you?

Therefore, when parents have different understandings and opinions, children will speak and start to defend.

When we were young, we were asked to be "obedient", but now we have to face a "disobedient" child, and our parents are panicked.

In the final analysis, the equal right to speak demanded by children is challenging the authority of parents.

Parents who can't accept this concept begin to abuse, cry and brainwash their children.

Why do parents react so much?

However, it is precisely because the child has spoken of the parents' pain that the parents can do nothing but "persuade" the child in a more extreme and arbitrary way.

Most importantly, parents find that children educated in this way are often counterproductive.

Therefore, the more disobedient the child is, the more severe the parents are; The stricter the parents are, the more disobedient the children are.

In this way, an endless cycle between parents and children is formed, and both sides feel wronged.

Just like that sentence: parents have been waiting for their children to thank them when they grow up all their lives, but children are waiting for their parents to apologize.

Modern children have a wide range of knowledge, which conflicts with their parents' "backward" discipline.

When I was a child, the channel for learning knowledge was the teacher's classroom, that is to say, learning depended entirely on the teacher, and life outside of learning depended entirely on the parents.

But today's children have long been different.

Teachers give lectures on the platform, and students will discuss other ways to solve problems with teachers. They will also privately complain with their classmates that the teacher is not as good as a website.

Parents say this and that can't be touched, and children will argue with their parents and refute their wrong ideas.

This is not that today's children are "rebellious", but that they have a wide range of knowledge and know a lot.

Whether it's exercises or the truth of doing things, they can find the answer by searching online.

Parents will look for ways to discipline their children on the search platform, but in fact, children also "know" their ideal parents through the internet.

When you talk endlessly with your child, what the child thinks most is: You don't know anything, why should you care about me?

Therefore, when children start to resist your discipline, don't just punish them, but calm down and think about your own problems.

Being a parent is not having children, but raising children is success.

But to discover and explore with your heart, and then to learn and accept new things and ideas with an open mind.

Some people say that modern parents are strange. They don't like a style when they buy clothes and look at bags, but they want their children to be like others.

To ask what children dislike most nowadays, I think "other people's children" must occupy a large position.

Parents compare other people's children with their own children in order to set a positive goal for their children and make them work hard.

But often, children can't understand your good intentions. Doing so will not only increase their psychological pressure, but also arouse their resistance.

Go into the child's heart, talk with him at the same height, praise the child in time, and find out your own shortcomings.

Although you are not the perfect parent of your child, the real you are more likely to get the respect of your child.

Love children, not just talk about it, make his heart full and rich, this is the most important thing.

I hope you and I can "see" children, accept and respect them.

You know, a strong internal drive is the only way for children to grow up, and encourage them with their parents!