Positive discipline refers to no arrogance, no punishment, no rashness, kindness and firmness, so we divide the parenting style into four quadrants according to kindness and firmness.
If we can be kind and firm, then we can cultivate the insight and skills that our children need to achieve these successes.
But because in our generation, most parents, teachers or even adults we face rarely get along with us in a kind and firm way, that is to say, this kind and firm parenting style can't be learned from us naturally.
So for our generation, kindness and firmness require us to study and practice hard.
The author used a lot of space to tell the story of 3-year-old Johnny having breakfast in three different families, and vividly and interestingly explained the difference between the three ways. I found my own shadow clearly in the process of reading. I am a strict mother, a spoiled mother, and occasionally a "positive discipline" mother. Because this method is not skilled enough, it often goes astray. It is easy to be too firm when you are angry, and then you become too kind and can't make up for your excessive firmness.
When parents have unpleasant communication with their children or one of them is emotional, they should "pause" and talk to their children after the emotions have calmed down, so as to deal with the "emotions" first and then deal with things.