Many people came to the supermarket that day, because not only salespeople, but even customers like me were almost surrounded by "three floors inside and three floors outside", and the children came with their mothers. After the child broke the plate, the mother first reprimanded the child, and quickly asked the child to apologize to the salesman who heard the sound, and then began to tell the child a lot of truth.
Under the "public eyes", the little boy looked very scared, very scared. After a while, the little boy cried in the supermarket. But the little boy's mother remained firm until the little boy cried and admitted his mistake.
"I'm sorry ..." The little boy sobbed and apologized to the shop assistant intermittently.
I didn't stay much because I had something to do that day. After I choose what I need, I go to the cashier to check out. And until I left the supermarket, the voice of the mother "educating" her children was still ringing in my ears.
In retrospect, I found that the little boy's mother was a "mother with low emotional intelligence"! The mother thinks that her education method is right, and let the children know that they will bear the consequences if they do something wrong. But she doesn't know that the result of her doing this will only make the child more vulnerable! More sensitive!
Rousseau, a thinker, put forward a view that reasoning, losing temper and deliberately moving are the three most useless educational methods in the world. And this mother just accounts for two-thirds!
Mothers with low emotional intelligence don't care about their children's feelings. They will only take it for granted and do what they want, and will not consider whether doing so will hurt their children's psychology. It is unrealistic to blindly reason with children and expect them to feel ashamed and wrong in language. This practice often only puts children in a dilemma, and it is impossible to teach them!
The more reasonable parents are, the more disobedient their children are! I read a sentence in Zhihu: Our parents often only pay attention to how they make sense, but never think about how unreasonable they are!
People don't like being persuaded, which is a common problem for everyone, and children are no exception. When you talk to your child endlessly, in most cases, the child doesn't listen at all! They hate being persuaded! So do we! No one likes to be persuaded, and no one wants to be persuaded!
"Reasoning" is a means that many parents especially like to educate their children, and it has always been recommended by parents. However, people have also discovered the fact that the more they like reasonable parents, the less obedient their children will be!
In Zhihu, a mother was troubled by her daughter. Mother said that her daughter was too disobedient and insisted on doing what she was not allowed to do! Everything is against you, and I often let myself fly into a rage. She also knows that it's not good to be angry with having a baby! However, if she doesn't beat and scold the child, the child will always be disobedient. To this end, she also gave an example in Zhihu!
She said that her family lives on the fifth floor of an old apartment building, and there is no elevator, so she can only take the elevator up and down the stairs. But recently, my daughter suddenly likes a "new" way to go downstairs: put one arm on the handrail of the stairs and use it hard! Told me not to slide hard. The armrest is covered with dust, and the mother doesn't allow the child to do so. Every time the child's cuffs are dirty! But every time the mother finished, the child apparently agreed! As a result, every time I went downstairs, I went my own way and never thought about my mother's advice.
Say it again, say it again! The mother finally lost patience and gave her daughter a hard lesson. The child was beaten and never worked in front of her mother again, but she always looked for opportunities to sneak downstairs. The child's sleeves are often dirty.
Finally, my mother deliberately said this sentence: My children are not as sensible as other children. I actually respect her. I don't know how many times I told her the truth, but she didn't seem to listen to a word.
In fact, when we, as parents, find that it is useless to talk about some things, we should understand that reasoning is useless! At this time, since it is useless to reason, you should immediately stop this "reasonable" move!
Doing is better than saying! Take the above as an example. In fact, there is not much problem with the child's behavior. It's just a way for children to play! In fact, the mother mentioned above can go back and find two rags and clean the handrail stairs with the children! This not only beautifies the corridor hygiene, but also solves the problem perfectly.
It's time for us parents to persistently convince our children! It is better not to think about how to solve the problem! Mom is angry! It is precisely because the handrails are covered with dust that children will get dirty every time they go on like this. Then let's clean the handrails! In this case, will the child's clothes not be dirty?
We must solve the problem, not dwell on who is right and who is wrong! For a long time, many of our parents have paid attention to the truth of what they say, but have never thought about how unreasonable they are! In this case, the child just wants to go up a fancy staircase, but the mother doesn't even allow the child to do this little thing! If we can't accept children's simple attempts, then our so-called "freedom" for children will become even more nonsense!
Someone once said: No child is ignorant. If children want to be sensible, then parents have to be reasonable first! All talk and no action is false. Parents bent down to do a practical thing, far more useful than saying 10 thousand words!