Honey, do you want to try? Come on, take a deep breath, calm down, relax again, and come with me to see the correct way to open children's sex education.
explore
First, this infatuation is also fascinating. Stay with me quietly and answer questions.
When a child is fascinated by a dragonfly on the roadside or an earthworm in the soil, what adults need to prepare is a curious heart, a silent mouth, a companion gesture and patient time. Children don't have to ask questions, give everything they have, answer questions, be curious about their curiosity, marvel at their amazement, stand back modestly and watch them dance with the world.
The same is true of sexual development. Children grow up slowly, curious about their own bodies, curious about other people's bodies, curious about the solidification of gender, curious about puberty sex and gender relations. Maybe they don't ask questions. They are just silently curious. It doesn't matter. Stay with them quietly. Prepare yourself, prepare picture books and books, or appropriate movies or videos to expose them to knowledge. Maybe children just want to explore quietly by themselves, because they can keenly capture that you are not ready to talk to them about this topic! If they ask questions, congratulate them and yourself. You have created a talking parent-child culture. In this discussion, it not only keeps the family privacy of sex education, but also meets the needs of children and adults to explore and grow together, and constructs a more spatial but actually closer parent-child connection. As parents, if they have knowledge of universal sex education, they will answer questions. If they can't answer, it may be more important to give their children inner words. I like your question, I will find the answer, you can trust me! ?
Therefore, this kind of infatuation is also charming, calm company, answering questions. Enough!
Dear, have you found that you can really start to relax a little in your children's sex education?
Second, children's sex education, who will be the teacher for children?
Sex education for children is best done by yourself. Because you don't teach yourself, someone will teach for you.
Children's sex education is not for experts, but for yourself, so please consider your own parenting philosophy and your own sexual values.
We grew up in an environment lacking sex education. The theme of sex has taboos and boundaries in the big cultural background. Relatively speaking, it is more related to shame, taboos and depression. At present, many experts, social workers and educators are actively engaged in the field of sex education for teenagers and children. Many parents and friends are beginning to realize the importance of sex education, but the question is:? This topic is very important and should be discussed with children, but how? Should children's sex education be taught by others or parents themselves?
As a psychological counselor for children and adolescents, my job is to accompany children and their families in an environment that ensures the safety and privacy of visitors. Sometimes we need to discuss the topic of sex, and sex is also a very important part of psychological counseling. My personal experience is that sex education is very important, but the first and most important class is at home, and the most precious teachers are parents, who not only teach by example. If a communication channel can be established between parents and children, children can better understand and cherish their bodies, interpersonal relationships, marriage and family, and life on the premise of preserving their privacy, so as to prepare them for entering a new stage of life.
Some parents are uneasy about the openness of sex education now, and such uneasiness is precious. Family boundaries and loyalty to the past have left such uneasiness, which is ourselves! In sex education, although this is a revolutionary generation, we need to move at any time and follow the trend, but we also need to be ourselves more.
? About nausea? Dialogue with a 10 year old boy
? I feel sick when I understand it, and I feel strange when I don't understand it. When I study knowledge, I don't feel sick, because before that, I will feel it is not good. I don't understand and I don't feel strange. Those knowledge can be understood at a glance, and those who don't understand it can be understood after thinking about it. Some students like to speak in English. That's disgusting! ?
Apply psychoanalytic theory: the more disgusting, the more attractive; The more you are afraid, the more you love! Seeing this, nausea and fear instantly decreased. Really? Feeling of shame? It is natural and precious. The elegant veil of sex education is indispensable for building a healthy personality of children!
When I was in junior high school, although it was 30 years later, it was still similar to the present situation. There will be sexual graffiti from the senior grade of primary school. After entering junior high school, boys began to do their hair styles, and girls began to collectively review the erotic plots in romantic novels after turning off the lights in the dormitory. There are also male students who will draw a strange cleavage on the neckline no matter what female images they draw in the draft book or what clothes they wear, or there will be a plot of relationship between men and women in their own martial arts novels. There was no such thing as sex education at that time. Few enlightened parents can discuss love novels with their children. Most of them can't talk to their parents, let alone adults other than their parents. Most young men and women began mysterious exploration and communication among their peers, and finally blossomed beautiful flowers in adulthood. Today's aftertaste, or feel the mysterious beauty, feel the youth fellow travelers!
During adolescence, children will enter a stage of growth accompanied by young companions.
Then, how can parents be teachers in children's sex education?
Two basic principles
1, respect your feelings
2. You always have a choice.
The ability to make choices is crucial. The child asked a question, did he answer or not? Just answer questions or share more? Parent-child relationship comes first, connection comes first, and parent-child connection is based on discussing everything. Parents and children have a bad relationship, and everything they do is a failure. If you must force her, then? Mom, are you bad and don't make me happy? I will love others more. The only thing you can do in this case is: 1, do not interfere with 2, find? Substitute parents? .
Therefore, in sex education, the framework of knowledge understanding combined with an attitude without fear and anxiety is to enhance parents' ability to conduct sex education for their children.
1, don't presuppose a position.
2. Keep a frameless heart
3. Always be alert to values.
Dear, have you found that what you really need in children's sex education is to be yourself?
Childhood lovers
Third, does the perfect answer matter?
Children's growth is the result of many influences. There are too many factors and mysterious forces in the universe that make our personality taste bad.
An uneducated mother wiped the sweat from her face with a calloused hand and jokingly said to her daughter, If you run away with any man, I won't break your leg! ? Another well-dressed mother looked at her daughter tenderly: You are a princess given to her by God, which is extremely precious. You have to be an adult to have sex with men. ? Maybe different education has essential differences, but sometimes it may not be as serious as imagined. Childhood has a far-reaching influence, but we always have the opportunity to develop ourselves better, although sometimes there are many difficulties. True perfection will not bring happiness, but humility and obedience can bring new opportunities under imperfection.
So is sex education. If you can't give a perfect answer once, then approach it again and again, each time full of exploration, discussion and discovery, full of deep love and growth between parents and children.
Preparation for answering children's questions:
1, cherish children's curiosity
2. Any questions raised by children are not used to judge children.
Step 3 grow up with children
Recommended ways to answer children's questions:
1, good question. You have grown up!
2. How did this question come from? How do you feel?
This is what I learned.
4. We can also discuss
Because I know that I am merciful! Some children will have problems and situations, including sexual problems, all of which are expressing unspeakable pain and seeking help. These problems are often accompanied by lack of ability and support. However, on issues related to sex, adults often react most strongly. For example, a fifth-grade boy always touches a girl's thigh, or a fifth-grade boy hits a girl's chest when she is in a strong mood. At this time, parents and teachers often add moral judgment first, because this kind of reaction conforms to the education they have received since childhood, and their inner parents will very much agree with their reaction on this issue.
When children have problems, such as children bringing sex toys, yellow videos or pictures to school.
Parents: Sorry, it's not your problem, it's ours. We have not done a good job in network restriction and management. How many electronic devices? Where did you put it? Who can use it? How to use it? Set it well and don't let the children control it themselves. You get more excitement from the adult world than you can bear. We can discuss it.
I especially want to give you a gentle reminder: if possible, try not to make jokes about sex or gender relations with children, no matter how young they are; If possible, we should try to approach the little people calmly, cherish them curiously, accompany them, and even more often, just be quiet!
First, childhood jokes:
1, swearing
2. Make fun of the child's body
3. Make fun of sexual relations, such as getting married and having sex.
First, the jokes of adolescence:
1, fall in love
2. Sex
3. Idol
In doing so, we may only satisfy the unsatisfied part of our childhood, or we may have been played like this when we were young. Now that we are parents, the child is coming, and he (she) is still so young. If we were ourselves at that time, it seems that we can satisfy a certain hole in our hearts in this way, or relive the vague feeling of childhood a long time ago. But if we do this, we will not provide the children with objective information and knowledge. The message they got was that parts related to his body and the opposite sex could be used for abuse. Obviously, this is not a wise and constructive way.
Key theory:
1, use the recommended game activities to develop suitable interactive forms of sex-related topics for children of all ages. The best way is to answer the question, figure out what to do and grasp it. Teaching machines? .
Parents should assume their children as long as they find that they have language behaviors or thoughts about sex? Not guilty? This means that the child is innocent. Because in the current social and cultural environment, information about sex, whether children take the initiative to listen to it or get it under the guidance of support, is too confusing and complicated, and parents need to give their initial words and deeds like teachers.
At any time, mother's intuition and inspiration are the most precious. Explore the best way for children. If you don't agree with the suggestions given, you can also educate your children in your own way according to the actual situation at home. There is no absolute right.