I was basically at home until my son was one year old. I take care of him during the day and my grandmother takes care of him at night, so that my mother won't be very tired. I weaned my son when he was nine months old, and then my wife went to look for a job. When my son was one year old, I also went to look for a job, leaving my grandmother to take care of the children at home. My father usually goes out to work. It is best to take care of the children by yourself, but it is unrealistic. I told me my experience of raising children for one year. I'll think about it again. It is because of the great pressure of life that I have to give my children to the elderly. It is hard to express how hard it is for my mother to take care of him alone. I hope my wife's stepmother can help, but this hope is extravagant. She has a daughter of her own. Who can she expect to take care of the children except my mother?
The biggest problem for the elderly to take care of their children is that they are easy to spoil their children. My mother is very strict with me. When I was a child, I couldn't make any mistakes. But when I take care of my son, I always say that I am too young, and I will be naughty when I am older. The child is very leathery, but I didn't have to bring diapers when I was two years old. When you are two and a half years old, you can go to the toilet by yourself without wetting the bed. I will wake up when I have to pee, and then wear slippers to the bathroom. these
Young people should have a grateful heart, whether grandma brought it or not. They have no obligation.
The real relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law begins with the birth of a child.
After giving birth to a child, the small family will officially enter a busy state. At this time, no matter grandma or grandma, no matter who can help, they will give great support to this new family. However, there are still some differences between grandma and her mother-in-law. The difference lies in the concept of parenting.
Reason:
1. After the mother gives birth to the child, hormonal relationship or family division of labor will put more energy into parenting. It can be said that parenting mothers care more.
Grandma brought up a novice mother. From this perspective, it is easy for new mothers and grandmothers to reach an agreement on educational concepts, but it may not be as easy as grandma and mother-in-law.
3. It is easy to have bad feelings if you have differences with your mother-in-law in parenting.
Who to kiss.
Naturally, who brings who kisses, but we can't deny the role of blood relationship in our bones.
So they all kissed. All things considered, it is more convenient to take care of children.
It's good for anyone. The key lies in who has good conditions and who is better. Grandparents will always be grandparents, and grandparents can only be grandparents forever.
Why not stand aside?
My granddaughter was brought up by my mother and in-laws. Later, when I was too busy, I was asked to come to Guangzhou to help. Two families take care of two children. You were too busy to call me, so I told my mother, and I came to help. Living in the same building, living in a suite, eating their favorite food, does not affect each other's lives. We all had a good time.
After many friends around me have children, they have another worry, that is, should the children be given to grandma or grandma? Let me talk about my personal understanding.
It is more reasonable for a mother-in-law to take care of her children.
It can be seen from your introduction that your parents and in-laws are very kind old people, but from my point of view, I prefer my mother-in-law to take care of the children, which is more reasonable. I think so, too. Children are more naughty now. In case of bumps, colds and fever, how can the family explain to their mother-in-law? What's more, it's not easy for parents to raise themselves, and they can't let their mothers help them with their children. Besides, they are married.
Communicate in time if there are differences.
According to the topic, the author says that her husband has differences on who will take care of the children. I think if there are differences, I will make it clear and then weigh the pros and cons. You should let your husband know that you want to give your children a better living environment, not despise your in-laws. If the husband's attitude is tough, I don't think my mother-in-law should take a look at it for the time being, and don't hurt the feelings of husband and wife.
Stress urges us to change.
Our generation is under too much pressure, and the economy and society make us have no right to rest. Even if we have a baby, it is difficult to be a full-time wife at home. After all, it is too hard to support the family by my husband alone. If the elderly can help with the children, we will be much more relaxed. No matter whether you choose grandma or her in the end, I believe you are a good mother and you are thinking of your daughter!
This is my personal opinion and understanding. Please understand where the mistake is, and hope that everyone's family will be harmonious! !
If the child must take grandma or grandma's house, it is best to take grandma's house. Because children are smart and sensible, good is the seed of mother-in-law. If they are naughty, it's because grandma didn't teach them well. Good things are always inherited from the father's family, and bad things will be said to be grandma's fault. Anyone who has experienced it personally dares to say so. Don't spray if you don't like it.
I am the kind of picky daughter-in-law. I don't want to bring my children to my mother. They are also very tired and have no time! I don't want to bring it to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law lives by playing cards. My father-in-law used to do odd jobs near the village and often played cards! Wedding money, husband's, decoration money, husband's! In the first year of marriage, I had a miscarriage. I had a fight with my husband. My mother-in-law quarreled with me when he didn't talk. In the hospital, she is my mother's face! In the third year, when the child was born, the father didn't feel pain, saying that the girl humiliated him, and the boys in the village always carried the child out. What is there to show off? The old man doesn't love it, girl! The child cried when he was hospitalized for the first time, but he had to take medicine. I urged her mother-in-law to do it quickly, but she did it slowly. I was in a hurry and said that you didn't hurt my daughter at all! My mother-in-law scolded me like a street in the hospital, saying that she wanted my mother to take care of her! Since then, I have taken care of my children alone, not only because I think they have not taken good care of them, but also because I don't want to cause trouble to my children and my husband's family in the future. It's boring, and I don't like the way my in-laws take care of their children, and I don't like the children my in-laws bring out.
I think it is the same for anyone to take care of children. Children are the apple of their eye and the treasure of their next generation.
But from the perspective of unity, it is better for grandma to take care of her, because grandma and daughter can reach an agreement on the education of their children. Grandma can say "daughter" or even scold her if her daughter has different opinions on educating her children.
Grandma disagrees with her daughter-in-law on the education of her children, and she can't argue with her daughter-in-law. If the relationship is not handled well, the son will suffer, and the son will be caught between his mother and his daughter-in-law.
To sum up, I think it is my personal opinion to let grandma take care of the children when they are three years old and wait until the children are older. Let's discuss it.
You should bring your own children. The older generation often dotes on children and will hurt them. Parents bring their children with full mental development.
In fact, taking care of children now, whether grandma or grandma, is not necessarily scientific parenting. Choosing to let grandma take care of the children will inevitably lead to some problems in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to different living habits and parenting concepts. Mainly because the elderly rely on old experience, mothers think that scientific parenting is more important, such as how old they go to school after breastfeeding, which may become the fuse of problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The reality is also cruel. If there is no help from the elderly at home, you will either resign and take care of the baby full-time, or you will have to hire a nanny. But judging from some events exposed on the Internet, I am very worried. Coupled with my own financial pressure, mortgage and some daily expenses, how many families can really do it?
If there are elderly people with children at home, then we can't give up our work, and we should be considerate of the elderly. Whether grandma takes care of them or looks after them, they take pains to help them. What we should do most is to be grateful!
In fact, whether it is grandma watching or grandma taking care of the children, some irritability, pressure, warmth and love brought by this kind of taking care of the children should be borne by parents. Only parents are the first responsibility of children, and the elderly at home can help you at most. This is a blessing, not an obligation, and we should be grateful.
Family parenting thinking, share a series of parenting videos with you every day. I hope everyone can communicate and become friends, and I hope my answer can help you.
Seeing Ma Bao's predicament, she may not be able to take care of her children, and then she wants to choose between grandma and grandma. In fact, this is a difficult problem. From the perspective of grandma and grandma, whether you are willing to bring it is the key. After all, they also want to live their own lives, and it is not their obligation and responsibility to help with the children. Like my family, my grandmother didn't like the climate here, and her waist and legs hurt, so she took it for a month and went to my father-in-law's house. My grandmother has two grandchildren at home, so she can't help me. So I gave birth to it myself and took it with me.
If grandma and grandma are willing to take it, you have to consider other aspects, such as who do you think is more careful and has a better temper. If you care about the friction with your mother-in-law, most of them will choose grandma to take it. After all, she is her own mother and won't mind so much. In our community, there are also grandmothers who change their belts. The child is over three years old. Grandma said that her grandson can't get used to grandma's cooking, and the children may not adapt and always change people.