From the Korean variety "Superman is Back" to the China variety "Mom is Superman", the family education of various stars is being shown to the audience. From "Song Triplets" to "Mm-hmm" and other cute babies, the audience is all moved by these cute babies, and parents can learn many good parenting methods from them.
For example, the parents of the Song triplets often play music and movies at home to encourage their children to listen and act more. Instead, put fewer toys and pets at home and encourage them to exercise more and socialize more; Dictate fairy tales to children at a fixed time every day to ensure parent-child reading and communication; Take time to take children to different places every week, such as gym, swimming pool, zoo and charity activities.
So, are parents "superman" of children?
In our impression, whenever a monster appears and human beings can't cope with it, Superman will appear to help human beings fight against the monster. This cartoon depicts such an omnipotent image as "Superman", but it shows that human beings are incompetent and can only rely on "Superman".
Back to family education itself, is it really good for children to have a "superman" parent? Whenever children encounter difficulties, parents will appear to solve them. Children feel that their parents are omnipotent, unwilling to find a way to solve the problem by themselves, and rely entirely on their parents' "super powers."
0 1 "super parents"
"Super-ability" parents mean that as long as a child has difficulties, he will find ways to help him solve them, so that the child feels that his parents can do everything and rely on nature.
"Mom, I'm so sleepy, but I haven't finished my math homework yet?" When children say this to you, most parents will subconsciously look at the clock and say, "Oh, it's already half past ten! Why haven't you finished your homework? Forget it, you go to sleep, and the rest of mom will help you write. "
So the "superman" mother appeared, taking care of the children and helping them finish the rest of their math homework after going to bed.
What are the consequences of this? With the first time, there will be a second time and a third time, "Mom, I can't finish my homework again. Please help me. " After several transgressions, the child learned well and asked his mother if he couldn't finish his homework.
In this way, the child's homework seems to be doing well, but by the final exam, his fantasy will be shattered and he will become the last in the class.
Therefore, parents should never be parents with "super powers". Your help again and again makes the child dependent, not only because of poor academic performance, but also because you help him everywhere in life, and gradually let him develop a character of retreating, giving up halfway and attaching to others.
02 "Coming Parents"
"Instant" parents mean: as long as the child needs it, he immediately appears in front of his eyes, making the child feel that everything is at his fingertips.
"Mom, the school food is not delicious. I want to eat ribs tomorrow! " Mingming has just entered high school for a month, and he has frantically called his mother for more than a dozen times. Either you want to help build mosquito nets or you want to eat snacks. You need a new magazine recently. For the daughter who has never stayed, Mingming's mother is also afraid of wronged her daughter, so as long as her daughter calls, she will be on call.
A few days later, Mingming's mother received a phone call from her daughter. Mingming cried on the phone and said, "Mom, I don't want to live on campus. Come and take me home. " Mingming's mother was anxious and asked her daughter what was going on. She didn't say anything and kept crying.
As a last resort, Mingming's mother called the class teacher. The head teacher said, "Your daughter is too delicate to do anything in the dormitory. Washing clothes, folding quilts, sweeping the floor and waiting for someone to help her. Other roommates are reluctant to live in a dormitory with Mingming again. "
After listening to the teacher in charge, Mingming blamed herself for being too dependent on her daughter since childhood, giving her whatever she wanted, and turning her daughter into a "little princess".
Therefore, parents should never be "immediate" parents. To put it bluntly, such parents have completely become "slaves" of their children. Moreover, parents are on call, making children accustomed to "ordering" others to do things, thus developing an arrogant and overbearing character.
Such children are easy to cause dissatisfaction when they get along with others, and finally they are isolated by the people around them.
03 "considerate" parents
"considerate" parents mean: everything is ready and planned for the children, as long as the children follow the route designed by their parents.
"This is the clothes you want to wear tomorrow. I put it on the chair for you. " Qiqi's mother folded her daughter's clothes and put them on the chair beside the bed. "Very good." Qiqi said, without looking up, still addicted to her mobile phone.
"There are still half a month before the next exam. Mom found you a remedial class. I/kloc-make up math on the evening of 0/3 and 35, and English on the 24 th. " Qiqi's mother thought: A new tutor this time will definitely improve her daughter's grades.
Qiqi still didn't look up and said without emotion, "Well, it's good that you decide."
"Also, it's time to put down the phone. It's time to practice the piano today! " Just after that, Kiki's mother grabbed her daughter's mobile phone and drove her to the piano room.
Qiqi watched her mobile phone be taken away by her mother, and the words "My mother is so annoying …" were still on the screen. Finally, she reluctantly walked to the piano room.
Therefore, parents should never be "immediate" parents. Getting everything ready and designing the route are really helping the children? In fact, it controls all the children's study and life, but this is not what the children want. Then the child will strongly want to get out of your control and deviate from the right track.
This is what many parents often say: "How did my child become so rebellious when he was so honest and obedient?" Wool comes from sheep, and most of the reasons for children's rebellion are from their parents.
Instead of being an all-round "superman" parent, it is better to show weakness to the child at an appropriate time, ask the child for help, and exercise his problem-solving ability. Parents should cultivate children who dare to think, do and be human, instead of "a dou who can't afford to help"