Training is teaching and admonishing, in this case, it means dissatisfaction, accusation and abuse. In the old society, there were many feudal patriarchal systems in which parents were above themselves, parents and children were the key link, and wives were the key link. It is common that fathers train their children and husbands train their wives.
However, it is necessary for the teacher to teach at different times and places, and pay attention to the methods. You can't teach people to swear at will, otherwise it will be counterproductive and counterproductive. Training children before meals destroys the atmosphere, affects appetite, and both father and son are in a bad mood. Therefore, even if the child does something wrong, the father should not reprimand or beat and scold before meals, but should find another occasion. However, some people have no education law, and many people train their children before meals. This practice will not have the desired effect, but will also suffer.
Husband and wife share the same bed and help each other. They stress unity, harmony and harmony. People talk about feelings and mutual love. Before going to bed, they lectured their wives, played masculinity, and repeatedly reprimanded them for something. Who can stand it? Is the friendly atmosphere between husband and wife gone, and can husband and wife be happy when they make love? So smart people don't train their children before meals and their wives before going to bed. It is too late to please them.
"Don't train your son before meals, train your wife before going to bed." Although this statement is a bit vulgar, it still makes sense. Before the meal, the family prepares a happy meal, which is a warm atmosphere to visit their godson without making the whole family lose their appetite; Going to bed is a warm and dormant time for husband and wife after a day's work. Isn't it boring to criticize their wives?
First of all, from a biological point of view. It's easy to understand not to scold the children before eating. If analyzed from a physiological point of view, we think it is reasonable. Usually, children develop rapidly and consume a lot of physical energy. Some children feel hungry just after eating, so they are often hungry before the next meal is ready. In this case, as a parent, no matter what the child said or did wrong, he should let it go first and let the child eat well first. This can ease the child's nervousness and give him a space to find out the reason. Secondly, it will not have a direct impact on children's health. This is the wisest thing to do. Similarly, from a physiological point of view, it is understandable not to train your wife before going to bed. Imagine, after a hard day, just lying down, my husband's reprimand arrived. No matter whether the wife is wrong or not, it will not have a good effect. On the contrary, it will make the wife rebellious. In the light, husband and husband will quarrel and even fight, which will eventually make both sides unable to sleep. A wise husband had better not scold his wife before going to bed. It's not good.
Second, from a psychological point of view. Some people think that the ancients said that it was feudal to not train children before meals and wives before going to bed. I think this understanding is one-sided. We have analyzed it from a physical point of view, so let's analyze it from a psychological point of view. No matter how big and strong a child is, he is still a weak person in front of his parents, and his endurance, especially his psychological reaction, is relatively fragile. At the dinner table, the child felt guilty for doing something wrong. I was severely reprimanded by my parents before I picked up chopsticks. Can children bear this situation? Can you recognize the way you deal with this problem? My understanding is definitely not. Because we grew up with our children ourselves, it is obvious that it is best not to train our children before meals. In addition, train your wife before going to bed. Now the pace of life is accelerating and the pressure is getting bigger and bigger. As a wife, she is worried about being angry for her family and children. Maybe her wife noticed something wrong and hoped to find a suitable time and way to explain it to her husband. Her greatest wish is to whisper in her husband's arms instead of listening to his complaints and lessons. If she does this, she will definitely lose more than she gains.
Third, the road is not in vain. Some things, such as educating children and communicating with wives, are actually not important in content, but in form. In the aspect of educating children, I think it is better to analyze the reasons with children from the perspective of guidance and find a solution to the problem, instead of playing down the prestige of parents, which can only be counterproductive. The wife is the same, communication is the first. For example, when the wife is happy, when she goes out for a walk and so on. I think this is an effective way to solve the problem, ask a little question, or ask a euphemistic question, and then help find a solution to the problem.
As a husband, the word "Xun" was arbitrary to both his son and wife in feudal society. Because in the past, women were bound by feudal ethics such as "three obedience and four virtues, men are superior to women"; There are many moral commandments, such as "not small, not small, not big"; Let them be more obedient to their husbands and educate them to do whatever they want at any time, regardless of the occasion; Because she is a man's private property. However, in general, you may not train your wife before going to bed, because men always have more lecherous people, so as not to be wishful thinking at last and unhappy at night. Isn't there a saying that a good man doesn't beat his wife?
All virtues put filial piety first, and China attached great importance to his children's example of "loyalty and filial piety". As early as thousands of years ago, he had thirteen pictures of filial piety, the purpose of which was nothing more than to simulate and show his children's filial piety. Therefore, children are obedient to their elders, especially their parents; In China, it is more common to train children before meals. However, there are indeed many abnormal places in today's society, just as someone joked: "The present times are very strange. When building a house, the window is bigger than the door, the son is bigger than Laozi, and the daughter-in-law is bigger than the in-laws! " So now I haven't said that I dare to train my wife before going to bed, and some have to help my wife undress before going to bed! I also said Xunzi at dinner, fearing that my son would scold me for not dying!
Modern people's psychological growth and development is slower than that of ancient people, so there will be some deviations in considering problems. Like ancient 20-year-old men and modern 20-year-old men, if they have more social experience, they must be much better than ancient men. Many answers can be found from different war histories. The ancestors have the responsibility, cultivate one's morality and govern the country, and level the world. It is not unreasonable. Farming people take grain as the foundation of the world, and food and food are the most important. When educating children at the dinner table, children should think, not just finish eating. This is called eating people's food and doing personnel. Just as important. Father and son love each other, son is not filial to his father, and being a father is not good either. Educating your wife at night is a family matter, and it's best not to expose your dirty laundry. It's best not to know your own children. Being a parent is an example!
First of all, the sentence "No training before meals, no training before bed for my wife" gives a bad first impression. I think this is a feudal legacy that has been passed down to this day. Men look at their children and wives from the perspective of a condescending master. Children and wives are his personal private property, or are his accessories. This kind of feudal parents thought that they were always higher than other family members, including children and wives, and unconditionally had the power of life and death to seize power for everyone. All the truth is in my own hands, and all the right and wrong are my own decisions. Because of this, he will take it for granted that he has the right to "discipline his son" and "discipline his wife".
Actually? It's almost 1 10 years since the Revolution of 1911. If there are still men with such decadent feudal ideas, it will be a disaster for this family. With the rapid development of science and technology and economy, under such social reality, if you don't keep pace with the times, you are still addicted to being the so-called "head of the family", have no democratic concept, and don't know how to respect other family members from personality, you will inevitably be rejected and opposed by your wife and children. Such a family relationship is bound to be incompatible, which will easily lead to divorce between husband and wife, deviation of children, and eventually you will be "alone". Therefore, men who are addicted to being the so-called "head of the family" are advised to recognize the situation clearly, abandon this feudal legacy, treat their children and wives with sincerity and love, respect and understand their families, and change "training their children" and "training their wives" into equal exchanges and communication with their children and wives to create a harmonious family atmosphere.
Secondly, the sentence "No training before meals, no training before bed for my wife" contains some reasonable factors. If a man who is in charge of the family can abandon the backward concept of feudal parents and communicate with his children and wife equally, he should seize the appropriate opportunities for communication and exchange, just like this saying. When communicating with children, don't say anything too serious or heavy before or during meals, especially for young children, because children need a relaxed dining atmosphere to eat well and have fun. If you always scold your child when eating, it will be a disaster for your child, and even the delicious food is hard to swallow. In the long run, it will seriously affect their physical health and mental health. At the same time, don't communicate with your wife before going to bed. A burst of drowsiness hit, but the husband scolded his wife with a straight face, and no one could stand it. If the husband always treats his wife like this before going to bed, such a couple will divorce sooner or later.
Since it is a common saying, let's interpret it in the most popular way-
Inequality among subjects
First, let's see if this sentence is applicable today. "Don't train your son before meals and your wife before going to bed." This proverb is obviously from the perspective of male heads of households. The word "training" is a question. I don't know if you feel a condescending sense of inequality like me when you read this sentence.
In fact, in ancient times, men's status was higher than women's, but now they advocate equality between men and women, so this old saying is bound to make us feel some disobedience.
However, do we completely deny the meaning of this sentence because we choked to death? I don't think so. Proverbs, as the crystallization of ancient wisdom, must have their reasonable side.
In practical sense, "no training before meals"
Nowadays, young couples basically go to work during the day, pick up their children at night and then go home for dinner. After dinner, they do their homework at home or go out for interest classes.
The children's time is arranged in an orderly way, so the general family communication is concentrated on dinner time.
When I was a child, my parents also liked to ask me about my school or how many points I got in the exam at dinner. Following the rules, I naturally confessed honestly.
But sometimes it is inevitable that you will be naughty and do something wrong, so you will cry and eat after being criticized.
In fact, the result of educating children before meals or during precious meal time is very poor.
When I was a child, I was worried that my parents would force me to study while eating, which had a certain negative impact on my children's mental health and dietary intake.
So I think, at the dinner table, it is better to express more sentences that are conducive to creating a warm atmosphere and share some interesting things we have encountered. After all, a relaxed and happy family atmosphere is not only conducive to children's meals, but also allows young couples who have worked all day to relax their tense nerves.
For children's mistakes, parents should not take the form of lessons, but should cultivate children's ability to distinguish right from wrong through scientific guidance and example, and reduce the frequency of his mistakes.
The practical significance of "not training your wife before going to bed"
A good family environment plays a vital role in the healthy growth of children.
Although two people live together, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements and minor quarrels, but "quarreling at the end of the bed" must not quarrel before going to bed and fall asleep with anger and resentment.
The excitement after a quarrel will not only affect the quality of sleep, but also affect the quality of your marriage and family.
And it may not be reflected once or twice. Over time, it will also affect the personality of two people and even seriously affect the feelings between husband and wife.
So I think there should be more tolerance and tolerance between husband and wife. If there is any contradiction, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Maybe you can be cheerful and understand your lover's mind at once.
"Let's share our heads affectionately and wish the moon without turning back." Let's have less reprimands and complaints and more intimate interactions. Maybe we can love you more every day.
Proverbs always have their meaning. So, let's take the initiative to create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere, spend more time with our children and our lovers. After all, there is a talented family and everything goes well!
Training children before meals is taboo, and children are young and weak. Training children before meals will do harm to their minds and play a very bad role in their digestion during and after meals. Children's emotions and thoughts during meals will fall into sadness and anger. Lack of concentration. It has a great influence on gastrointestinal nerves, leading to digestive and absorption disorders, which was often unknown in the past.
It is a big mistake to train your wife before going to bed. A wife who has worked hard all day will have a good sleep at night, relieve fatigue and be happy physically and mentally. But what a mood it is to meet my husband's shameless uniform reprimand! Empathy shows that it affects the body and mind. If anything happens, the couple can find a suitable time to enlighten them calmly. There is no need to reason between husband and wife, otherwise, marriage is painful and sad.
No training for children before meals, no training for wives before going to bed.
This proverb is so reasonable! The former hurts the stomach; The latter hurts feelings; Before sorrow, after joy! [Cover your face] [Pray]
"Don't train your son before meals and your wife before going to bed" makes sense.
Examples around you are readily available. Let's talk about not training children before meals. Go to my brother's house for dinner at noon today. Before dinner, I casually asked my little nephew how he was studying in grade three recently. I didn't expect my casual question to cause an awkward atmosphere. As soon as I finished asking, my brother said that he did badly in the last exam, falling from the top 50 in the previous grade to 100. I said it doesn't matter if you don't do well in the exam occasionally, you should find out the reason and try to do well in the next exam. My younger brother went on to say that he (my nephew) has no consciousness in learning, and adults don't stare and don't want to learn. In addition, he recently played basketball with a group of classmates every day, neglecting his study. After that, my brother looked at his nephew who was watching TV and said loudly, "Turn off the TV and read a book. Aren't you embarrassed to take the exam yourself? " I had hoped to enter a key high school, so I had to go to a vocational high school. "The nephew took a white look at his brother, reluctantly turned off the TV, ran into his room and slammed the door. My brother wanted to get angry when he saw him like this, but I stopped him. My nephew was unhappy at noon, which embarrassed me. The whole lunch atmosphere was very embarrassing. This is a real case of not training children before meals. The child is in a rebellious period. If parents don't pay attention to educational methods, rude reprimand will often lead to children's rebellious confrontation, which is really counterproductive. In this case, we should pay attention to ways and means, communicate with children more, help children find out the reasons, give more encouragement and relief, and never get angry at will, which will easily hurt children's self-esteem.
Let's talk about not training my wife before going to bed. As the saying goes, "Don't drink Shi Mao, don't scold your wife". The unified time is 5-7 pm. At this time, if you scold your wife, it would be good if she resigned to her fate. If not, then you must have no food. If she gets angry and has a big fight with you, do you think she will still cook for you? You want to be beautiful! Not only do you have no food, but you probably have to sleep with a pillow at night. I have experienced such a thing. One night shortly after we got married, my wife and I had an argument over some trivial matters. Not only did she not cook dinner, but she also ran to the countryside more than ten miles away to find my mother in a rage (oh, my God! She walked to my mother's house and came back with her. It's not midnight, but it's only around ten o'clock in the evening. To tell you the truth, I feel sorry for my mother running so far. My mother pretended to call me when she saw that I had picked up a sole. She said: "You are all so old and married, and you are still so worried, which worries us." Look at my mother angry, what can I say! I finally slept on the sofa that night, you know. Since then, we have never had a big fight, not because we are afraid of our wives, but because we don't want to worry our parents.
The old sayings are all the experience accumulated by the ancients in long-term production and life, and they all have some truth. We should inherit and abide by good experiences and old sayings, so that we can take fewer detours or go the wrong way.