Due to the excessive protection of parents, children's poor adaptability not only limits their thinking ability, independent thinking ability, self-study ability and learning ability, but also is very unfavorable to their personality development and mental health.
2. Excessive "interference" in family education.
Due to parents' excessive restrictions on their children, they always can't do this or that, leaving children at a loss. It causes children to become cautious, follow others' advice and lack independent thinking ability, which limits the development of children's divergent thinking, critical thinking and innovative consciousness, and the result will inevitably affect their academic performance. Excessive "intervention" parenting style will also make children's adaptability worse, lack of opinions, and hesitate to do anything.
3. Strict "punitive" family education methods
Severe punishment by parents often leads to bad behaviors such as timidity, retreat and inferiority. Parents' severe punitive upbringing often makes children form bad characters such as rudeness, barbarism, hostility, insolence and lying, which seriously affects their mental health.
Second, the misunderstanding of bad family education methods
There are many problems and misunderstandings in family education due to poor methods.
1. The misunderstanding of autonomous learning.
China's traditional culture makes many parents think that educating their children is their own business, and they don't need other people's help, because generations have come this way. Being born with a son and being self-taught without a teacher is a major feature of China tradition.
2. The misunderstanding of valuing IQ over moral education
It is beyond reproach that parents attach importance to children's intellectual education. However, many parents neglect the education of their children's moral character and personality development, which cannot be said to be a mistake in parental education and should be highly valued by parents.
3. The misunderstanding of attaching importance to children's physical health and ignoring mental health
With the continuous improvement of our living standards, parents pay more and more attention to their children's health. But at present, parents' mental health education for their children is obviously insufficient.
4. The misunderstanding of attaching importance to teaching rather than teaching by example
Teaching by example is more important than teaching by words, and it produces good family education effect through psychological wit such as imitation and infection. Otherwise, it will go into the misunderstanding of family education. Of course, there are still many misunderstandings in family education. For example, the misunderstanding of "obedient" education, the misunderstanding of score education, the misunderstanding of emphasizing cognition over practical education, and so on.
Third, the countermeasures to improve the way of bad family education
1. Parents should learn some knowledge of psychology and pedagogy.
Parents should learn some knowledge, theories and methods of psychology and pedagogy, establish a correct educational viewpoint and master scientific educational methods. Guide practice with correct knowledge, theory and methods, and learn scientific family education methods.
Parents should pay attention to their children's life education.
Paying attention to children's life education has always been a traditional family education in China. Educate children to be an upright person, and children will get corresponding rewards through the right path, through their own efforts and through their own creative work. No matter what means are used to gain money status, if children are raised in this way, they are likely to become criminals in society in the future.
Parents should straighten out the status and relationship between intellectual education and life education. Only by cultivating children into kind, upright and selfless people can we give full play to their intellectual effects. When educating their children about truth, goodness and beauty, parents should take measures according to their age and specific mentality to help them analyze, judge and choose truth, goodness, beauty, falsehood, evil and ugliness in real life.
3. Parents should pay attention to the cultivation of children's psychological quality.
It is an important task for parents to improve children's mental health education, cultivate children's sentiment and prevent and reduce children's psychosomatic diseases. Parents should establish new concepts in dealing with the relationship between mental health and physical health. Bad psychological factors are no less harmful to health than diseases, and good psychological factors are better than health care products.
4. Parents should do what they can.
Parents' words and deeds will be transmitted to children through imitation and infected psychological wit, and may become children's habits. In the process of children's psychological development, the younger they are, the stronger their imitation ability is. Parents' actions, expressions and language habits will have a great influence on children. Parents set an example and let their good language, behavior and habits become the objects of children's imitation. Parents should attach importance to cultivating their children's good habits as much as their children's academic performance.
Parents should use their good habits to influence their children's education, so that children can form the habit of loving labor, stressing hygiene, being honest and trustworthy, and being polite. Efforts should be made to educate children to overcome bad habits such as eating snacks, not paying attention to hygiene, carelessness, lying and swearing.
In short, if we can master scientific parenting methods, the educational effect will get twice the result with half the effort, and it will certainly improve children's psychological quality, mental health level and innovative consciousness and ability.