For example, some parents will only blame their children blindly, but they don't know how to fight back, or severely criticize their children and say some ugly words, such as "Don't you have hands?" "If you don't fight back, you deserve to be beaten!" ...... Do you think about it, is it more painful for children to hear such words? I think it's all my own fault. So if you encounter the same situation in the future, will you still bear the humiliation and dare not make any noise?
Some parents are different. When they find their children being bullied, the first thing they will do is to comfort their children and prevent their hearts from being hurt. "Mom knows that you have been wronged. Don't be sad. Mom will work it out with you. Mom will protect you! " Do you think children will feel more secure and dare to tell their parents and teachers when they encounter similar things in the future?
Some parents may say, Ah, Bian Xiao, are you too old? It's really not. As a mother, I used to think that it is better to have more than one thing. When the child has conflicts, I always educate him, "The child didn't mean it. Can we forgive him? " So the son nodded with tears in his eyes every time.
But I soon found out that it was wrong, because the child who bullied his son became more presumptuous when he found that his behavior did not need to pay any price. Even once, I saw him push his son down and take his candy. The son sat on the ground crying, but he didn't know to stand up and get back what originally belonged to him. At that time, I was really angry, anxious and distressed, but I blamed myself more because I didn't teach my children to resist! But the world is cruel, isn't it? If you give in blindly, how can you gain a foothold in society in the future?
Every parent has the responsibility to teach their children how to fight.
It was also from that time that I began to teach my son to "fight". Slowly, I even found that children can not only "defend themselves", but also learn a lot from fighting. For example, how to reduce your pain in a fight, how to adjust your overly excited mood, how to avoid provoking each other, how to forgive each other for shaking hands and so on.
Later, I learned the professional knowledge of sensory integration, which further confirmed the correctness of teaching children to fight, because some children are timid, crying, clingy and emotionally unstable, all because of their tactile sensitivity, and fighting with others at close range is also very helpful to reduce their tactile sensitivity. Besides, as the saying goes, "No discord, no concord", many intimate feelings are "played". When a child really learns to "blend in" with the children around him, you don't need to worry about his interpersonal obstacles.
Of course, teaching a child to learn to fight is not to make him indiscriminate, but to let him gradually master the ability to analyze the situation and formulate enemy skills. Only when a child has the ability to protect himself and does not cause unnecessary harm to others can he really grow up.
Having said that, how should parents teach their children to learn to fight? At the end of the article, Bian Xiao will give you some suggestions according to his own practice, hoping to help you.
Parents how to teach their children to "fight", three suggestions:
First of all, parents should adjust their children's mentality, don't let him have the psychology of "being bullied is useless", and tell him that this is a normal phenomenon that everyone will encounter. Especially when the child cries to you, you must immediately stop what you are doing, kneel down, open your eyes with the child, hug him gently, tell him that you know his grievances and sadness, and then wait for his mood.