There is a saying: communication begins with the heart. To communicate and solve problems, we must first put words into each other's hearts. Only in this way will the other party trust you, and when you guide them, the other party will not resist. Unfortunately, many adults often forget this. When they open their mouths, they will arouse children's disgust. This kind of communication will not only solve the problem, but also create more problems, because the communication means of adults is a problem in itself.

For example, when parents hear that their children are late for class, they usually habitually ask: Why are you late? This way of asking questions doomed the next communication to be a failure.

1, this is a kind of query, the tone is inevitably emotional, and there are strong hints that the child is wrong, which will only cause the child's psychological confrontation, thus shielding the parents' teaching and causing the phenomenon of "one ear goes in and the other ear goes out";

2. This is a cause-and-effect problem, which obviously requires the children to explain the reasons. If there is no reason, it is equivalent to giving the child an excuse or opportunity to lie;

This approach focuses on the past. As a result, everyone is obsessed with who is right and who is wrong, but they forget the problem to be solved: how can we arrive early?

4. Let children learn to pass the buck and become a complainer. Why do you always do so badly in exams? Child: The teacher doesn't teach well; I sat in the back and couldn't see; There are always people making trouble in class; The homework is too deep.

The correct statement should be: How do you think we can arrive early? Or: What do you think can be done to prevent being late? Replacing "why" with "how" and "what" will shift the focus from the past to the future, instead of clinging to the past, focusing on solving problems, thus giving children a specific direction of efforts.

For more educational information, please pay attention to Xiaoya Education.