It is said that tiger poison does not eat children, but violent parents' emotions are like a scourge, which is bound to be a disaster that children cannot escape. Our culture pays attention to filial piety, and there are no bad parents in the world. Many injuries to children occur in broad daylight, in full view, and the audience either turns a blind eye or is unable to let the injuries happen before their eyes.
Xiao Wu, a group friend who often goes to Huixuan Yaju to study, asked a question in the group: "Should we remind or stop seeing very incorrect education methods outside?" That day, in our reading club, there was an unprecedented heated discussion.
Xiao Wu's narrative goes like this: One night, she was sitting idly on the east coast. A little boy (4-6 years old) next door may have naughtily pinched a woman's leg (it should be his mother), and the woman slapped her in the direction from chin to cheek ... The boy stayed for a while and kept touching his face, but several family members around him didn't seem to notice this scene (or maybe they were used to it). The woman saw me looking at her and gave me several glances. Because she has many family members, I'm afraid it will be difficult for a woman to go down the stairs, but I really want to hug the little boy ... Faced with such a stranger, I'm entangled in the future. What should I do with it?
Teacher Zhao Xia first noticed this message. She suggested that she could walk over and ask the other person, "Who are you?"
Teacher Zhao Xia thinks: if the answer is not parents, then such beating is a very rude violence, and then we can contact parents to avoid further harm; If you are a parent, such rude behavior is even more inappropriate. Perhaps it is the mother's habitual behavior (subconscious) and she doesn't realize it. Perhaps there is long-term violence, and young children have no ability to protect themselves. Our inspection behavior is like pressing a pause button for her mother. It is pointed out that we should do something really excessive, of course, under the condition that it is safe for us to exercise this behavior.
Teacher Zhao Xia hopes to remind each other by checking their identities.
Teacher Lu said, "If it were me, I would greet this mother with a smile and then care about the children. Will it hurt if my mother hits me? " . Then, let go of judgment and find a common goal with the mother ~ I hope the child will no longer get attention in this way of harassing and hurting others ~ to start a dialogue.
Before communication, gain trust and establish contact, and then let the other party receive my full affection and calm down the other party's emotions before dealing with it. In addition, the premise of communication is ~ I am good, hello in the world, and there is no need to change this mother. We just talk about finding the root of the problem together ~ children need attention and high-quality companionship, and then find ways to meet this demand together, that's all. You don't need to change "
Teacher Lu expects to give her a correct demonstration of parent-child communication when helping her achieve her goal in other ways.
Teacher Meixin put forward that "doctors don't knock on the door, the Tao doesn't send divination, teachers don't drop by, and it's easy to get the Tao, the law doesn't spread in the air, and life doesn't change!" Pointing out that we don't need to change others and act rashly may bring shame to ourselves. This problem should be a point that many people are worried about. Many of us don't speak silently, and we are afraid that the other party will make trouble without reason. A group of friends even said that they were almost thrown soup by their parents. There are also a group of friends who stop mothers from hitting their children. Mother got angry and hit harder, which embarrassed the well-meaning group friends.
Miss Cao Qing is the mother of two little beauties. She has her own way. She said, "I'll take out a candy and tell the woman, Oh, it seems to hurt a little. Give a candy to eat, give a candy to eat, and then mix it with mud for her to give to the children. " Maybe parents are not so ashamed and children are not so miserable. At least a slap, at least a candy. "Teacher Cao Qing hopes to use a candy and the kindness of strangers to soothe the child's injured heart and soften his mother.
As for beating children, group friend Afen told us a case that happened to his own children. Afen, who lives in Xinxi, said: "People like us who live in rural areas are actually used to this kind of beating children, and even think that beating children is strict with them and good for them. When a child is naughty and disobedient, relatives and friends will think that not severely beating and cursing is connivance and will spoil the child.
Some time ago, the old man died at home. In rural areas, there will be a complex set of etiquette that must be completed when the old man dies. Children at home 10 years old. When I experience this kind of thing for the first time, I sometimes get impatient and uncooperative. An uncle of the elder should be a little dissatisfied when he sees it.
After the incident, everyone sat together to drink tea, and the children sat next to them playing mobile phones. It seems that children playing with mobile phones is also a very sensitive topic, and everyone is talking about playing with mobile phones. It's not good to talk too much, as if a child who loves to play mobile phones is a disabled child. The uncle said that his son is good at taking care of children and his grandson is obedient.
Then the uncle suddenly turned to the child and shouted at him. The child's face turned red at once, and he answered a few words with tears. In that case, I don't think it's good to protect the children, so I didn't make any noise. Later, the child came to me, and I pushed him away angrily. My mood at that time was very complicated. My child's performance that day was really poor. Before I went, I told him: this is a very serious occasion. The only thing you have to do is listen. It wasn't him.
As an elder, uncle's unreasonable growl really hurts children. I have to embarrass my uncle. But I feel very guilty and regretful for not protecting my children.
The father of the child at home also thinks that educating the child is always beating and scolding the child. As a mother, I often cannot stand up and feel helpless. "
Parent Xiaomi said that she can't stand being beaten by others, and she can't stand the behavior of parents who don't respect their children. She can't stand it.
She shared what she saw with her own eyes last Sunday: two children riding small bicycles, about four or three years old. The young one rode very fast and kept running after the wheel of the older one, and it hit him. The older child resisted and kept turning around and screaming at the younger child. The mother of the younger child kept laughing with the fan. The boss's mother chats with others and says loudly to her children from time to time: "Stop yelling at me, it's so noisy! .................................................................................................................................................................................. In the case that the two mothers completely ignored the children's emotions, the situation of the two children lasted for about 2 minutes, and the older one continued to scream. Then his mother couldn't help but stop the child, and the younger child took the opportunity to directly hit the older child's car. The older child was furious and got off the bus and overturned the child's car. His mother hit him at this time. He was so angry that he overturned his car.
Xiaomi asked him next to him: "Your little brother chased you and hit your wheel. Are you angry? " You don't want your little brother to follow you on your wheels, do you? "He paused and nodded. His mother quickly explained, "Don't worry about him, they make so much noise every day that my head will explode because of his noise!" "..." Barabara. The big boy clenched his fist and stomped away ... His mother stood there and shouted, "Come back!" " ! You can't come back! Don't come back and see what I can do to you! ………
Xiaomi said to his mother: "The child is a little wronged, hurry up!" His mother listened and followed the children. Then the mother of the younger child added, "It's no use bluffing all the time, and it complicates things! ……"
Xiaomi met two mothers who ignored their children's feelings. They didn't study psychology and pedagogy. They don't know that their child is hurt. They only care about the face of both sides. If they don't get it, it's actually a bullying.
At that time, she felt that it was not good to meddle, and it might be bad for herself if she didn't manage it well. At that time, she couldn't think of any good way, but there was no way. She feels that the child is too helpless and knows that the child's feelings need to be seen. She hopes that her export help will make her children feel supported and cared for.
Lingling, a group friend, also said that she met a father and son in the community. Because the child wants to eat watermelon, the father does not allow it, the communication between the two sides is not smooth, and the child cries endlessly. Lingling especially wanted to go over to appease the children, but she was afraid that others would say that she was meddling, and she also had a lot of entanglements and sadness in her heart.
Teacher Lu later summed up the following points from everyone's conversation:
1 When you encounter the wrong parenting style in society, you should first ensure your own safety and take good care of your emotional feelings.
2? When you are full of energy and it is time to make a move, you are actually learning how to communicate.
3? Help the child to tell her/his current feelings, and the child will feel much better. We also educated our parents through demonstration.
4? Parents feel kind and easy to accept the opportunity to talk by approaching children with snacks and toys such as candy.
5? When we have enough energy and courage, we encourage more efforts. The people we have studied have an impact on society if they want to contribute value. Although candlelight is insignificant, 1 1 10,000 candlelight can illuminate a corner of Chaoshan area.
I hope the whole society will care about the healthy growth of teenagers.