In the educational environment of the previous generation in China, too many parents pursued the repressive education of "modesty makes people progress and pride makes people fall behind", deliberately ignoring their children's efforts and progress, but occasionally mentioning their shortcomings.

China's parents, more precisely, should be the parents of our generation. Most of them are sharp. Perhaps you rarely get praise from your parents, and even when you make achievements, you are suppressed. They look disgusted and roll their eyes, telling you not to be too proud. But they usually don't succeed.

Many children have also experienced shock education. Criticizing and educating children's behavior may make them remember for a long time. However, the impact education itself is a double-edged sword. The advantage is to let children know their own shortcomings, not be proud when they win, not discouraged when they fail, and always maintain a modest and low-key attitude.

However, the disadvantage is that the confidence that children have just established will be defeated in an instant. For children, sometimes some encouragement is needed, especially for some hobbies of children, parents should give moderate encouragement. At this time, the impact of education is not effective.

Neither our parents nor their predecessors are bad people. They are also victims of the previous generation's educational background. What they can't give us is often what they will never get. Some parents can't appreciate their children's self-appreciation. They are used to throwing cold water on them: stop dressing up, it's no use dressing up ugly!

Maybe when they were narcissistic as children, your grandparents treated them the same way, so they couldn't give them what they lacked.

Because they are new parents and have no experience, they can only set an example by imitating the previous generation or people around them, forming a vicious circle.

China's parents regard themselves as their children's elders rather than friends. Many parents let their children make up some regrets. Those criticisms of children are often full of unacceptable parts for children. At the same time, they can't find the integrity from their marriage partners and the sense of identity from the society. These parents are just victims of the previous generation's education.

In the process of children's growth, different parents show different ways of education. I have seen some fathers take a hard-hitting education on their children, always saying that children are always not good, and the relationship between father and son is not good at the child's growth stage. Some parents adopt encouraging education and grow up with their children in the relationship of friends.

Which of these two different educational methods is more conducive to children's growth? First of all, the first so-called "strike education" is completely wrong. Both views and contents are wrong. The second kind of "encouraging" education has a good purpose, but after reading your content, I feel a little one-sided.

The following is my personal view on education.

The first point: clear purpose. When talking about education, many parents often ignore the purpose, or outline the purpose in general. For example, I am the child's biological parents, how can I harm him? To put forward the purpose exactly, what kind of person do you want your child to be (here refers to the moral aspect, not the future achievement). Just because you don't hurt children doesn't mean you can help them grow up, so it's important to have a clear purpose.

The second point: understand the child's situation. Many times, children's eyes can often see through the hypocrisy of some adult worlds, which will produce strong resistance. Some parents are not educating at all, but performing. Sometimes I think such parents think they are more exaggerated than reality TV actors. For example, he always cares about his children actively. In fact, he may not even remember the child's birthday, or he may not even know which class the child goes to. At a deeper level, only by knowing your own children can you carry out some targeted education. Examples speak louder than words.

The third point: the child is a living body, and he has his own ability to perceive and judge the outside world. What you have to do is to guide, instead of always thinking that you are right and criticizing your children with yourself as a benchmark. To tell the truth, you may not be very smart in life, and it is a foolish way to criticize yourself as a benchmark.

The fourth point: learn to communicate, such as the friend communication mentioned in the question, or other communication methods. Effective communication is so important that you don't even know if your child is in a good mood in the end. Only by communicating normally can we talk about further education topics, and many parents can't even communicate normally. The way of communication needs to be explored, not solidified to a certain extent. There is no shortcut to this, and it varies from person to person. In this process, the education as a friend is not completely correct, because for a friend, you may not be able to stop him from being black, but for a child, you must stop him from becoming a villain.

Fifth, build respect. Every era has its troubles. Many parents don't understand their children's troubles. They are either laughing at the seemingly blow, or they are self-righteous to establish so-called rules and force children to follow them.

Although the child was born to you, he has no obligation to complete your unfinished dream. Many parents impose their dreams on their children, such as being admitted to a school and learning a certain artistic specialty. There are successes and failures, so I won't elaborate on the specific operation, but I think I can understand the result with normal thinking.

If you love children, praise them! Instead of hitting children!

As long as they have a bright spot, as long as they make progress, they should praise them in a timely and generous manner.