It is important for parents to continue to work hard correctly. A child's comprehensive competitiveness lies not in how much knowledge he has, but in his enthusiasm for life and future, his positive and sunny attitude, the perfect development of IQ, EQ and adversity quotient, the cultivation of good habits and the cultivation of critical thinking ability. It is obviously difficult to cultivate these qualities only by school education and social education, so family education is very important. Parents should think about "giving their children lifelong competitiveness". Education needs to teach children common sense, knowledge and experience, as well as correct values and attitudes towards life, while schools can only undertake the part about knowledge transmission, while others need families to bear corresponding responsibilities. With regard to the poor critical thinking ability and independent ability in the process of children's growth, many parents have destroyed their offspring to a certain extent with a diligent attitude, and they have no knowledge of it.

Second, stimulate children's "super hobbies"

Parents must cultivate their children's super hobbies and desire for something. As long as this hobby is positive, parents should not interfere, even if this hobby affects his studies. Parents start family education by buying 500 books for their children. The key is that parents really have to study, so that their children can learn. A key problem is that parents don't have much time to spend with their children because of their busy work. Parents, especially fathers, should spend enough time with their children, and even spend some time alone with their children every year. This will cultivate children's sense of dependence on their fathers, and children can learn to be independent from their fathers.

Third, cultivate the habit of public reasoning.

The human brain is a blank writing board. From the fourth grade of American elementary school, students should learn basic writing skills, such as description, narration, comparison, causality, and thinking training such as debate, argument and persuasion. According to the reading and language arts (teaching) syllabus of California public schools from kindergarten to 12, the first grade of primary school "restates the main points in simple reasoning and narrative paragraphs", the second grade "restates the facts and reasons in text differences and clarifies the opinions that the organization wants to say", the third grade "distinguishes the main points and the details supporting these points in reasoning" and the fourth grade "distinguishes the reasons and the reasons in reasoning texts". "The sixth grade public reasoning is divided into two parts: discriminating logical fallacies and preventing propaganda. These two items require students to discuss and deepen through perceptual and concrete examples in actual reading. " As for what are "logical fallacies" and "beware of propaganda", the outline explains in detail: "There are five kinds of logical fallacies to be discriminated: oversimplification, floating theory, circular argument, false dichotomy and unfounded reasoning. There are ten kinds of propaganda skills that need to be vigilant: conformity, abuse, prejudice, snobbery, people's words, boasting,' scientific' basis, testimony, intimidation tactics, and involvement. " The focus of public reasoning in grade six is to distinguish between "facts" and "opinions". It also emphasizes that any "viewpoint" is not automatically correct and must be proved, that is, provide reasons. The four common reasons are facts, examples, data and expert opinions. To our surprise, the sixth-grade students receive such strict thinking training that we feel that every phenomenon mentioned in it can be seen everywhere in our public life, especially in some media articles. Views and opinions are not automatically correct, but must be proved and supported by facts, examples, data or expert opinions in order to be convincing. Unfortunately, in some articles, we often don't see enough "proof" and "support", but only strong emotional expression and personal judgment. The "Reading and Language Arts (Teaching) Syllabus for Kindergarten to 12 in California Public Schools" further requires seventh-grade students' reasoning assessment ability: "Assess whether the arguments used by the author in supporting conclusions and positions are appropriate, accurate and relevant, and pay attention to biased and biased examples". Among them, "prejudice" and "prejudice" are related to social justice, not just logic. Why should public reasoning abide by these principles? The value of rational discourse is the relationship of equality, respect and reason with others, and on this basis, it does not humiliate, deceive, discriminate or hurt others, and does not use any violence (including verbal violence) to treat others. This is also the value of a civilized society. In fact, reasoning ability, that is, civic literacy, is linked with people's cultural and moral qualities, and inherits the common civilization and values of freedom, equality and rationality of human beings, rather than simply imparting skills. The habit of public reasoning should be cultivated from an early age, and the earlier the better. This is also the basis for the United States to learn public reasoning from the first grade of primary school. On the other hand, reading and writing teaching in primary and secondary schools in China is basically narrative reading and writing. Of course, this training is not unnecessary, but it should not be the whole of reading and composition training.

Fourth, mood education is more important than knowledge education.

Are children born good or bad? Are children born smart or not? Why do many good children start out excellent, but then fall behind? The most important ability to cultivate a child is emotion, mind and temperament. It is necessary to cultivate a child with a broad mind and mind, and gradually acquire the ability of self-emotional education. At present, the present situation of mood education in China is not optimistic. Many schools are limited by various restrictions and have no courage and ability to carry out mood education freely. Some schools are very worried about organizing students to have a spring outing for fear of accidents. Therefore, emotional education in schools can't be carried out because of choking on food. There is an obvious gap between foreign mood education and China. Foreign schools will organize students to participate in challenging projects, such as walking in the wild for 20 days without any modern equipment to exercise their basic survival ability in the wild.

Five, parent-child communication "general rules do not hurt"

Netizens voted for "eight sentences that hurt my mother the most", and many people said that these words could not be said again, such as "Don't ask", "Leave me alone" and "Really wordy". Many parents are also worried about how to communicate with their children. Whether it is the child's regret or the parents' distress, there is a problem in parent-child communication. General rules are painless, parent-child communication channels are smooth, children will not have heart-wrenching regrets, and parents will have a lot of "incomprehensible" boredom. The art of parent-child communication cannot be "wishful thinking" for parents at first. Educating children, the depth of love, the cutting of responsibility, attitude and tone are easy to be too hasty, and as a result, children become more and more rebellious. Good words have to be said well. As parents, the highest goal is that children can listen. Create an atmosphere of equality and peace, give children the opportunity to defend themselves, and don't make it "centralized"; For unclear questions, don't take guesses and inferences as facts, so that children feel that they are always suspected and questioned; Be good at thinking from the standpoint of children and realize that the differences between the two sides may only be different angles of thinking; Don't kill a child with a stick, let alone "label" and turn over old accounts, so that the child can't turn over. The art of parent-child communication, for children, can not be "closed to the outside world" at first. With the growth of age, people who are eager for independence are eager to try. From shaking off their parents' hands, to making their own ideas and choices, and then to "parents' things are out of date", many children resist their parents without even a specific reason, just "getting tired of listening to nagging" Parents used to be young, and their children now have problems. When you rebel against your parents, you can think: if it's not for their own good, how could their parents do it? Is there any truth in what parents said? Is there an acceptable part? Blame parents for not knowing themselves, because they didn't open their hearts to their parents? Reminders may be cumbersome, but who else in this world but parents can worry so much about themselves. Parents and children are connected by blood, so why not make communication smoother?

Six, pay more attention to learning literacy, learning intelligence and physical function.

It is more important to cultivate basic literacy than to learn knowledge first. 70% of parents said they would teach Pinyin before their children enter school, and 47% of parents would enroll their children in various pre-school cram schools or interest classes. However, parents' mentality is actually very contradictory. When answering the question "What skills do parents want their children to master before entering school", the three items such as "communication with people", "physical labor" and "music painting" far exceed "literacy and numeracy". 20 13 Shanghai "zero starting point" survey data shows that after two years of follow-up research on more than 2,000 children, it is found that the literacy that has a direct impact on the learning level of Chinese, mathematics and English in the first and second grades of primary school is comprehension, logic, expression and fine movements, while knowledge-based calculation, counting and memorizing words are behind. The influence of learning basic literacy on learning increases with the increase of grade, and the influence of knowledge content learned first is getting smaller and smaller. In the relationship between children and young children, paying attention to learning basic literacy is more conducive to children's future academic development than being eager to master subject knowledge. A child who has never learned a foreign language before elementary school is only 50 new words and 20 dialogues away from those who have learned it. All these can be solved within 15 ~ 18 class hours after entering primary school. As long as you enter the formal learning stage, you can quickly narrow these gaps through certain teaching or games. Attention should be paid to a series of learning disabilities caused by the increase in the proportion of sensory integration disorder. This is also the main reason why many children have difficulties in writing, calculating and reading. For example, when children read aloud, they miss words, add words, mispronounce words, replace words, or write the wrong order and position of numbers in calculation. When copying, they should look at it stroke by stroke and write it stroke by stroke. These are all learning disabilities caused by sensory disorders. The best intervention time for sensory disturbance is preschool, and it should not exceed 12 years old at the latest. However, if a large number of students scramble to learn, they will lose the best opportunity to learn intelligence and improve their physical function.

Seven, something to deal with.

"Teacher Sun, your son fought with his classmates and cried. Go and have a look! " Teacher Sun smiled. "Children fight, he loses, he takes advantage. Let him handle it himself! " ! I don't care about him. "This seems indifferent, but it actually contains wisdom. It's normal to be beaten. Let children think more about why in this process. When this happened today, my parents and teachers ignored me. What should I do? How to solve this problem in the future? Children have encountered and dealt with such things. Will they still blindly think and rely on their parents and teachers? In this environment, will children who grow up day by day become more and more calm, rational and independent when things happen? Will their ability to resist setbacks become stronger and stronger? With more exercise like this, will children mature faster? If a child stumbles on a stool at home, in the west, parents will ignore it and let him handle it himself. In our country, adults think their children are terrible. This difference leads to great differences between East and West children in self-care, independence and inquiry. When we complain that children's ability in this respect is too low, should we consider giving them enough exercise opportunities? If our parents and teachers are more "indifferent" in life, let the children handle their daily affairs by themselves, and then pack up the dirty clothes and send them back to their parents for washing when they go to college-this phenomenon will be reduced. If we still "love" children too much, even if we still "love" children abnormally, in the future more intense international competition environment, we will probably gain more than just hearing the assertion that "your next generation is not our opponent" again. This will not be alarmist.

Eight, carefully cultivate the spirit of exploration and independent personality.

In daily family education, we should pay attention to and cultivate children's awareness and spirit of independent exploration. Practicing roller skating and learning to ride a bicycle are things that children will never learn skillfully in constant independent exploration. In the cultivation of children's exploration consciousness, willingness and spirit, parents' "companionship" and "no arrangement" are important driving forces to stimulate children's courage and self-confidence. Tell your child about your life experience, it is better to accompany him to experience it. The cultivation of children's independent personality should start from the details and pay attention to it as soon as possible. As children grow up, we find that children have their own ideas and ideas when they do many things, and they are unwilling to succumb to the opinions of adults. This is the "bud" of a child's independent personality. How to "guide" and "not forcibly interfere" the cultivation and cultivation of children's independent thoughts and personality should be a matter of great concern to parents. In particular, you can't simply apply the so-called experience of your childhood growth. After all, times have changed, and children and the environment in which they grew up are brand-new and full of challenges, which are incomparable to our childhood growth conditions and environment. We are all parents for the first time, without any training and professional certification, and we are basically raising a child. The responsibility of raising children is as heavy as Mount Tai, just like doing experiments in the laboratory. How to ensure the success of the experiment once? I'm afraid we should be very careful and make full preparations. Parents should treat their children like other people's children and treat them as unique ordinary members. Cultivate children with ordinary people and normal minds, pay attention to cultivating children's morality, mental emotion and independent personality, and put the cultivation of emotional intelligence in the same or even more important position as IQ.