Examples of parents educating their children
Case 1: forced communication
When my daughter Tong Tong was 2 years old, I realized that she should make more friends by reading, so I always say hello to the children with great enthusiasm. But Tong Tong just doesn't like talking, so if she gets impatient, I will speak for her. If she doesn't want to play games, I will take part in it for her, and Tong Tong always follows silently. Later, I found out that when Tong Tong was alone, she didn't know what she was playing. She was particularly concerned about whether others regarded her as a friend. After going to kindergarten, she often said that she didn't want to go to kindergarten because she had no good friends. I began to realize that I forced my child to associate, which brought her deep anxiety and anxiety.
I won't force Tong Tong any more. I'll take her out and slowly guide her to play by herself. My transformation has also brought about the transformation of my children. She has become more and more confident, and it is natural to say hello to children, and her friends have gradually increased. This incident made me deeply feel that every child has his unique personality, he needs to grow up at his own pace, and his parents only need to take care of him properly, instead of interfering or even arranging his life.
Expert comments:
Children are different, there is no uniform standard for education, and it is even more impossible to find a method suitable for each child from books. Parents should not worry about books, but kneel down and listen to their children's voices. Only by respecting children can children gain a sense of security and self-confidence and naturally learn to communicate.
Case 2: Why not give it to grandparents?
My nephew is always willing to share good things with me, and my father is also very concerned. Quite complaining? :? Everything should be given to my aunt, and my grandparents don't want to taste it. The child lived in vain. ? In fact, my nephew used to be very generous, and he was willing to share anything delicious with his grandparents. But grandparents often tease him: give them something delicious, too! ? The child's hand was handed over at once, and they quickly said: Grandparents don't eat, eat by themselves! ? After several times, the child stopped taking it seriously. When my nephew shares it with me, I will thank him and share it with him sincerely. I also praised his delicious dishes, and my nephew was happy to share them with me. Dad even blamed me for saying: why do adults still eat children's food! ?
Expert comments:
The child's heart is pure and beautiful, and he will take every requirement of the adult world seriously. As an adult, the most important thing is to respect the simplicity and beauty of children, not to tease them for fun or intimacy. Many unintentional actions in life that seem funny to children are behind deep disrespect for children. If you love your child, please treat him equally.
Case 3:? "Seedlings encourage growth"? Can our children be happy?
It is important for children who are about to enter primary school to develop good study habits, but many parents attach too much importance to knowledge and skills. ? Teacher, did you learn the decomposition of 7 today? Why are there only two kinds of children coming back? My friend's child learned the decomposition of 13. Is she too stupid? What if primary school can't keep up? Today, I taught her to know clocks. I have taught her many times, but she doesn't know them. I also made a video. Why do you think her performance is like this? ! ? In the video, the child is crying hard on the table. Reminiscent of normal times, the little girl flinched at the first little difficulty in class: teacher, this is too difficult. I don't want to be involved. ? I finally understand, living in such an urgent, anxious and negative environment, can children be confident?
Expert comments:
Being ahead is not necessarily the best, nor should it be the yardstick for children to grow up sooner or later. No matter how urgent parents are, don't let each other's comparison and blindly follow the trend blind their hearts, otherwise they will eventually hurt their children's hearts. Giving children enough time and space, smiling and waiting for him to bloom, is the best love for children!
Parents' suggestions on educating their children
Do not take drastic measures.
Some parents think? Jade can't be cut into tools? ,? It's not easy for a child not to beat and scold. . Therefore, whenever a child makes a mistake, it is not a calm reason, but a slap in the face. Treating children rudely like this will not only make them realize their mistakes, but also leave a shadow in their hearts, and their personality will easily become extreme.
Set an example.
Children can see what parents say and do. Their imitation ability is very strong, and empty preaching is far less influential than actual action. Isn't there such a public service advertisement? The mother washed his grandmother's feet, and the younger son saw it and learned to wash his mother's feet. The same,? Fish start to stink on their heads? If parents don't behave well, it's hard to say that an educated child is not a copy of failure. It can be seen that the words and deeds of adults are really important.
Attach importance to the role of emotions
Different emotions have different effects on people's psychology. Positive emotions make people happy, confident and comfortable; Negative emotions make people depressed, lack self-confidence and depressed. Similarly, different emotions have different effects on parents' psychology and behavior. Positive emotions can inspire parents to take the initiative to understand their children in a loving way, care about their growth, and educate and cultivate their children in a democratic and scientific way, thus making the parent-child relationship closely coordinated and the family atmosphere harmonious and warm. Parents should attach importance to the role of their emotions in family education, strive to cultivate and maintain positive emotions, and overcome and eliminate negative emotions.
Adults should agree.
Sometimes parents need to communicate, agree on the same thing and have a unified attitude. You are forbidden to gossip. You play the white face and I play the red face. Don't scold each other in front of the children. Otherwise, children often can't agree and don't know who to listen to. Over time, the status and prestige of adults in children's minds will disappear, and it will be more difficult to discipline children.
Parents' skills in educating their children
1. Parents are the most important and irreplaceable educators in a child's life.
0-6 years old is the key period for children to form quality and good habits. The first two years of a child's life is a crucial period for establishing a strong emotional bond with his parents, and it is the basis for children's future psychological growth and building a relationship of trust and love with others.
All the knowledge about life, 50% is learned in the first year of life, and 25% is learned in the second year of life. The knowledge of life here mainly refers to the ability of love and the development of emotion.
2. If you want to change your child's behavior, parents must first change themselves.
Educating children is the process of educating yourself. Children's bad behavior is often directly inherited by the environment or parents. Education by example is the most reliable way to cultivate children's moral behavior.
Cultivating children's spiritual quality is far more important than intellectual development.
Spirit is a tree, mind is a fruit; Spirit is a lamp, and thought is light. Human intelligence is a reflection of spiritual quality. If we only pay attention to the cultivation of skills (such as various early intellectual development interest classes) and ignore the cultivation of children's spiritual quality, we can only put the cart before the horse. When children grow up, their personality will be flawed and their moral development will be hindered.
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