Some time ago, at a high school reunion, I saw Xiao Yan, whom I haven't seen for a long time. He sat alone in the corner drinking and looked very decadent. After a while, Xiaojie, the organizer of the reunion, sat next to me and chatted with me about the recent situation.
After chatting for a while, I looked at Xiaoyan and leaned into Xiaojie's ear and asked, "Isn't Xiaoyan quite cheerful?" So you're sad now? "The little hero shook his head" not just because of his father.
"I have some doubts." What does this have to do with his father? ""You know Xiaoyan was born in a rural family, and her family pinned their hopes on him. So his father always makes him work harder, saying that the whole family depends on him. Perhaps it is because of too much pressure and the failure of the college entrance examination that he has become like this. " It suddenly dawned on me: "Sure enough, the less capable my father is, the more he likes to say these discouraging words. The child brought out by such a father will never succeed when he grows up. 「
If it is easy to have a bad influence on children 1. Our family's economic situation is not good, so it's up to you in the future.
Every father wants his son to be a dragon and his daughter to be a phoenix. Therefore, it is understandable that parents will unconsciously put pressure on their children, but fathers should pay attention to the degree of pressure.
In fact, children's inferiority complex is mostly induced by their fathers. If their father is self-abased, children may also be influenced by his father to become a person with low self-confidence. And my father said, "Our family is in a bad situation, so it's up to you in the future." And so on, which is related to family conditions, is a manifestation of dad's inferiority complex.
2. Bao Da's mantra is "Don't buy, waste money". Cong Cong was born in a good family, but he has a miser's father. Recently, Cong Cong was very unhappy because he saw a story book in the street and was about to talk to his father. However, he seemed to see Cong Cong's heart and turned to other places and said, "I don't want to buy it, it's a waste of money." 」
Parents encouraged their children to read more extracurricular books when they were young, but Congcong's father took this sentence as a mantra to save money.
Parents can buy less toys for their children, but children's books must not be saved. Parents who often cry for poverty will raise children who are "stingy", which is very unfavorable for children's communication.
I like to say to my wife, "I make money and you take care of the children!" Xia Jie's husband is famous for his male chauvinism.
He often works as a cutting shop owner at home. Whenever Xia Jie wants to have afternoon tea with his girlfriend and let her husband take care of the children, she will hear her husband say lazily, "If I make money, you can raise the children." . Husband and wife are those who have emotional foundation. When couples are in trouble, they should help each other. However, Xia Jie's husband separated the intimate relationship between husband and wife by throwing a pot.
Children will definitely get into the bad habit of male chauvinism in the future. Appropriate male chauvinism is responsible; Excessive male chauvinism will arouse people's disgust.
4. "Go to your mother and leave me alone. I'm busy. The father who said such a thing is completely a shopkeeper, as if the child is only the mother's child and has nothing to do with the child.
Widowed family education not only makes children lose their father's love, but also makes a family incomplete. No matter what happens to the child, let the child go to his mother and ignore him completely. A large part of this irresponsible attitude of the father will affect the children, which is not conducive to the shaping of their healthy personality.
When you feel guilty, you always say, "It's all dad's fault. Dad is sorry for you. " . Lao Li divorced his wife a few years ago, and the children were raised by him after the divorce. Whenever a child is in conflict, he always says, "Dad is sorry for you, but it's dad's fault." . After that, the child blamed all his mistakes on his father, and Lao Li accepted all the orders.
To tell the truth, the divorce is not Lao Li's fault alone, and the relationship has come to an end. And Lao Li's attitude towards children, conniving at children's mistakes, will make children grow up without taking responsibility, and will not take the initiative to admit their mistakes after making mistakes. On the contrary, Lao Li should handle this matter well and give the children appropriate punishment.
Wendy's mother has something to say:
Dear parents, are you right when you see these five sentences? As the father of the child, we must be responsible for the child, and we can't be the shopkeeper, because the role of the father is always very important in the education of the child. Father must avoid saying these four words, change the way of education, and let the children grow up healthily and happily.
He always said modestly, "Dad is sorry for you, but it's dad's fault." . After that, the child blamed all his mistakes on his father, and Lao Li accepted all the orders. To tell the truth, the divorce is not Lao Li's fault alone, and the relationship has come to an end. And Lao Li's attitude towards children, conniving at children's mistakes, will make children grow up without taking responsibility, and will not take the initiative to admit their mistakes after making mistakes. On the contrary, Lao Li should handle this matter well and give the children appropriate punishment.
Wendy's mother has something to say:
Dear parents, are you right when you see these five sentences? As the father of the child, we must be responsible for the child, and we can't be the shopkeeper, because the role of the father is always very important in the education of the child. Father must avoid saying these four words, change the way of education, and let the children grow up healthily and happily.