Share: I have a class in the evening. I am glad that I signed up for the second time and didn't miss a good opportunity to make my children grow up and be happy. Special thanks to the school for inviting a caring team of teachers. I believe these three months will make great changes for parents and children. What impressed me most in this class is the fourth kind of stupid bird. He wants to set an example for his children, will actively participate in various courses, and will use his self-discipline to say to his children, "Look at mom, you have to do it," but forget that children are just children. Say stress to children. Go home and share this paragraph with the children, and she agreed. Don't rush for success in the future, wait until the children grow up.

10.30

There are only 24 hours left in life, and you can only do three things. What would you do?

I replied in class: "hug the child and tell her I love you, thank you for making my life complete and rich;" Hug my parents, tell them I love you and thank them for giving me life; Hug my husband, tell him I love you, and thank him for his lifelong companionship. "

The same question,

Child "I want to play games, play with my classmates and play with my parents"

Husband "I just want to be alone"

Friend 1 "hug mom, lie down with her husband and go"

Friend 2 "Call parents, husbands, brothers and sisters".

It is her nature to play, even at the last moment. Adults are different. Women care about their husbands, parents, children and men, but they don't care, which also shows the emotional differences between men and women. For me, I just want to say "I love you" to my important people before I leave. Children come first. I didn't expect anyone to give me anything, which is related to my inner independence.

11kloc-0/Thanks to Teacher Tianhao for sharing every day. I recognized this knife today. The first four nag, beat and scold, satirize and compare, except for comparing, none of them, but the children are not excellent. I remember it today. I used myself too much in the fourth film. She has problems with her classmates. I will first suspect that she cares too much and doesn't share it; If you are not good at math, you are worried that she is not good at math. It is really bad. I dampened her enthusiasm with suspicion and didn't see her efforts and progress. According to the truth, I don't trust her enough, thinking that she is not doing well, she will make suggestions at random and help enthusiastically. In this way, she will lose the opportunity of self-growth and gradually lose confidence. In the future, I believe she can be very responsible for herself. I only do what my mother should do, don't cross the line, don't interfere in her affairs, respect trust, and expect my children to make continuous progress.

1 1.5

Do I have the resources to educate my children? Before class, I thought there was only one me spinning like a top. Now I know I have a lot. Internally, I have a kinetic energy hammer to give children a positive response, and kinetic energy sticks of various body languages give children encouragement and love. What about outside? At first, I thought, no, but later, my husband should be the biggest resource, but I always excluded him from children's education because of his busy work, so I have to encourage him to participate in it in the future. There are children's grandparents, who used to be teachers, and I didn't make good use of them. I will ask for more advice and help in the future. Maybe there are some things I didn't expect. Keep looking.

Another upside-down expression is also very shocking. When there is another negative expression, remind yourself to try the other way around.

Thank you tian teacher for sharing, and thank you for your hard work. Playing coquetry is not what I want to pay, but in the face of such a lovely little person, I unconsciously pay too much and too early. When sharing eight knives with children, the child said that she liked this knife, but the temporary comfort was exchanged for low ability. My daughter has a good ability to live independently, but she has little brains, which is related to her answering questions too quickly in primary school. Change it later. Confucius said, "Don't be angry, don't be angry, don't be unhappy, don't get rich" and learn from saints.

1 1. 12

In today's class, Mr. Wen told her about the "steamed stuffed bun" incident of a classmate's child with his own children, demonstrating how to turn negative into love education. In this way, it is very important for parents to guide their children, so practice more in the future.

Today, two psychological experiments and the story of Carnegie and his stepmother made me understand how important appreciation is to children and people. In the future, children, family members and colleagues will look at the advantages and appreciate others.

Being true to yourself is the premise of acceptance. Saying and doing, thinking and saying, thinking and feeling are consistent and true. Try to be yourself!

1 1. 13

Thanks to tian teacher for sharing. Apologize becomes debt, which is a kind of advanced. "Before you believe in children, we can't see hope from them. But trust the children, so that you can see hope? It's not that you let go of your child, but that you let go of your child. It's not that you respect children when they are obedient, but that you respect children when they are obedient. Do you trust your child before he grows up, or do you trust him before he grows up? It's not that the child is excellent, it's that you pick up the child, but that you accept the child and the child will be excellent. It is not that your children are happy when you are happy, but that your children can be happy when you are happy. And we don't help others when we are excellent, but the process of helping others is getting better and better. " It is worth pondering and remembering.

1 1. 14

Conversely, black is white. Thanks to the children for promoting our growth by sacrificing themselves. Children are children after all, and we need to teach them the ability to live and the truth of being a man. When they can't do it, we don't worry and blame them, but teach them again and again. We often don't blame after teaching once, but think about what we have learned once. Give children the opportunity to practice again and again, waiting for flowers to bloom, instead of pulling out the seedlings to encourage them.

1 1 16

Thanks to tian teacher's persistent sharing every day: In class, Mr. Wen shared the two groups of children who were divided into good children and bad children in advance. Under the same guidance of new teachers they don't know, their grades are as good as before. It is good to say yes, but it is really bad to say no. This is the effect of psychological suggestion on children. Today, tian teacher shared another case, 18 child, which was implied that the teacher was a genius. Without children's knowledge, eight months really shows signs of genius. This is the role of the teacher's psychological suggestion. What you see is what you get. We need to imply that "my child is excellent", then what we see is the advantages of the child, and the child will become more and more excellent. Tell yourself and your child with specific examples every day, "You are an excellent child", so that your child can make continuous progress.

1 1 17

An old frontiersman loses his horse—a blessing in disguise. You need a heart that accepts everything. Everything is the best arrangement. When you are proud, you can see your own ordinary, get rid of your pride, and when you are frustrated, you can see your own bright spot and increase your confidence.

Appreciation and strict needs coexist, appreciation is the affirmation of specific behaviors and abilities, which makes children confident; Strictness is persistence, kindness and firmness in choice.

All failures are insignificant compared with those that have lost themselves. Let children experience, let children become themselves. Let all the victories of children be insignificant compared with the victory over their own lives. Encourage children to face and overcome difficulties and gain confidence.

1 1. 18

Listening is false, but seeing is not necessarily true. Our view of children's worldview is based on our values and beliefs. When our perspective changes, so will our views. Looking for eight angles on one thing, it is easy to get out of the misunderstanding.

1 1. 19

I am the root of all things, and I am the master of my world. If I adjust my mentality and perspective, happiness and happiness will always come naturally.

Everyone is a collection of strengths and weaknesses. It turns out that for myself and my children, as long as they have advantages, they always want to get rid of shortcomings. Now, you know that's impossible, impossible. Finding an advantage as an advantage, using "set, pretend, become", I understand that pretending is more important, which requires us to have the ability to perceive, know that we are in an impossible state and think of people who can do it to imitate, which requires awareness and practice.

The confidence jar is a wonderful trick. I'm going to give it to my children, my husband and even my friends and colleagues.

Power is the root, but where does power come from? It is to love yourself, believe in yourself, love others and give others love in exchange for their harmonious environment, which also gives them motivation in disguise. Usually give children more kinetic energy hammers and kinetic energy sticks. "Very good, very good, very good, very good, very good", I often say more.

1 122

In Monday's class, Teacher Chang Yuan said that she had been an accompanying teacher for a week, so she wondered that this was a self-contained state. I read the article shared by Teacher Wen today, and I get it.

"I think a good partner should be like this. We are parents' children, grandparents' grandchildren, aunts' nephews, friends of friends, classmates' classmates, girlfriends' boyfriends … We have various identities. But from the moment I enter the family, I will break all my identity, reposition and shape my role, and then "black powder debut" and start your performance. My parents' love vows say, "I want to be the king of children and the spiritual leader of children", but I haven't found the feeling yet and I don't know what to do. Seeing this passage, I understand that I have not given up my identity as a mother, wife and job, so I am condescending to my child and it is difficult to really enter her heart. To be the king of children is to let go of your identity, be happy with your children, be crazy with your children, and be children together. Even for ten minutes every day, you can establish contact with your children, and you can realize that "you and your children are a spiritual community." "

"When we unconditionally choose to trust the child, if the child still makes a mistake, she will feel guilty. This is the contradiction between self-control and self-blame. If we choose to believe again, it will cause children to think. Should I continue to consume this "trust" or stop this "wrong" behavior? And when the child expresses his true feelings with you under your trust, it is time for the child to express his needs to you. " Mom, I'm so tired. I've been doing my homework. I want to read. ""Mom, I want to have a rest. "... when you can read your child's language, your relationship with her will become closer and closer." . -understand the child's needs when the child is not performing well, satisfy her, and the child will strive to get better.

"We often say that we should kneel down and watch the world with our children, but we often neglect to help our children sum up and let them see the world better. If you don't go deep into the logical world of Erdan's thinking and help Erdan make a good summary, it may still be useless to repeat, endlessly complaining that the child is not serious, and even suspecting that her IQ is problematic. To be honest, I never thought I would have these strange so-called "learning methods", but when I squatted down and thought with rotten eggs, these methods came out like running water. On that day, Er Dan was "crazy" and happy. That day, I was "crazy" too. The world of children is so simple. So is the child's world simple or complicated? I am "crazy"! Go crazy with your child, see the world from the child's point of view, understand her, and then use the wisdom of adults to guide her and help her.

It is the luck of children and families to find a trainer to help. If all our parents work hard as trainers, will our children be more lucky? It's not easy, but I'm willing to try, work hard and change.

1 1.24

The disadvantage is self-esteem.

But what is self-esteem? Baidu is as follows:

The need for self-esteem will inevitably become one of the basic needs that every individual will have in life. The need for self-esteem is, in a sense, the need to maintain a good self-image. However, the level of self-esteem depends on the interaction between individuals and social environment. If this interaction is benign, the level of self-esteem can often develop higher; If it is malignant, the level of self-esteem is often low, which is what we call lack of self-esteem When there is a serious conflict between the lack of real self-esteem and the ideal self-esteem demand, psychological problems will follow. The parallax model put forward by psychologists in 1990s pointed out that the difference between true self and ideal self or between true self and correct self would lead to general negative self-esteem and dysfunction (P253-27 1). In other words, an inferior person often feels that, on the one hand, the need to maintain a good self-image is very urgent; On the other hand, the self-image displayed is not satisfactory (to be exact, it is not satisfied with oneself), and the gap and conflict between them urges individuals to pursue the emotional experience of self-esteem subjectively. Unfortunately, in this pursuit process, individuals with low self-esteem often go to two extremes because of "congenital deficiency": one is that the gap between them is too large, and individuals are unable to bridge it, resulting in learned powerlessness, which leads to the above-mentioned first behavior and attitude, that is, self-injury behavior and attitude; At the other extreme is narcissism or egocentrism. This is because individuals do not meet their self-esteem needs through normal channels, but retreat to the current state of self-esteem and exaggerate and persist in this state of self-esteem, thus showing disdain and even deliberate confrontation with the requirements of the external environment. This narcissistic seemingly high self-esteem is essentially a phenomenon of weak self-esteem or false self-esteem. In fact, the individual is extremely eager to be respected and cared for by others.

I understand that self-esteem is the need to gain respect from others, and my shortcomings make me less perfect in reality, so I will have a low self-evaluation, or be narcissistic, disdainful and even confront the outside world. If we can embrace the child's shortcomings and give her the strength to face, it will be of great benefit to her personality formation. So, don't blame children, tell them that no one is perfect, focus on their own advantages and make them shine.

1 1.24

Thanks to tian teacher for reading and sharing: light more lights, see more children's advantages, see children's small progress, praise from time to time, and protect his self-esteem. Dig less holes, let go of accusations and criticisms, turn the shortcomings upside down, find the bright spot from the shortcomings, learn the art praised by Tao Xingzhi, care for children's self-esteem, and let children constantly increase their self-confidence.

1 125

Get along with people who live in self-esteem, cherish their shortcomings, tolerate their shortcomings and treat them as children. That love, in turn, hurts her, tolerates her, cares about her, and puts his self-esteem. Gradually cultivate self-confidence. Not only children, but also many adults have strong self-esteem and can't stand criticism from others. Be kind to children, be kind to yourself, and be kind to everyone who has not grown up.

Self-confidence is self-esteem that is ignited. Self-esteem is the starting point of education. If you follow the principle that advantages should not be said, disadvantages should be said less, and gradually less, children will become confident.

No shortcomings, only self-esteem, no shortcomings, only characteristics, no shortcomings, only differences, no shortcomings, only existence, no shortcomings, only starting point, no shortcomings, only germination. No shortcomings, only advantages, no shortcomings, only faith. Only by adhering to the eight maxims of kinetic energy education and looking at the shortcomings from another angle can children truly light up the lamp of self-esteem and become confident.

1 1.26

The problem is the problem of development. I am deeply touched by this sentence. Many times, children grow a little slower than other children, so they are anxious and blamed. For example, when she stuttered in kindergarten, she was scared, but she got better afterwards. So some problems are not children's problems, but parents are too anxious.

If there are problems that need to be improved, accept them and give children the courage to face them. For example, don't blame the child's math now, give her the necessary help and let her gain strength.

1 1.27 Thank you very much for sharing! Love, acceptance, love, worship, gratitude, and faith are five motives. Think about your position in the child's heart, at least the level you like, but sometimes she doesn't recognize what she says and is reluctant to do it, which is unacceptable, so the power level depends on things.

Education is teaching in the mind and cultivating in the mind. Work hard and study hard. As parents, what they teach their children is not truth, but what they do first.

1 1.28

"The sense of security comes from self-esteem first, and we should take care of our children's shortcomings. The second comes from truth, and we should learn to be true. Truth is the first height of being a man, doing things, educating children as parents, and doing anything and anyone. As parents, we must teach our children to be a real person. " ? Truth is what I expect to find back, and it is also lost by social tempering in these years. Children are more real than us, whether they are happy or not, and whether they want to share them is clear. But to save face, we will ask them to change. We thought it was to make them better adapt to society. Only now can I understand how rare the truth is, and I will protect it in the future.

1 1.29

Every child has an account I love in his heart. I admire her and make her like me, which means saving money and increasing children's motivation. I complained about him and made him hate me. I just withdraw money and overdraw the child's motivation. Looking at children with appreciation, children will have one bright spot after another. I don't want to be a good boy without children. The reason why he can't be a good boy in his parents' hearts is because they lack the nutrients of affirmation and appreciation in their lives. How to be a child's favorite parent is a lesson that needs to be cultivated. In the face of children, the better we appreciate them, the deeper the love they feel and the more they bloom.

Work hard, don't complain, just appreciate!

1 130

Thanks to tian teacher for sharing: to appreciate children, we should pay attention to the following three aspects. First, appreciate the specific event or describe the process. Appreciate the whole unambiguously. Second, appreciate children's efforts, dedication and efforts, and don't praise their appearance or intelligence. Third, appreciate the inherent good qualities such as politeness, helpfulness, honesty and responsibility, instead of praising beautiful clothes. Hair style, cuteness and other superficial things, we give others motivation deposits through specific appreciation behavior to support others' external abilities, so as to achieve growth, change and breakthrough.

120 1

Today, I listened to the live lecture of Ouda, and I was a little distressed by his hoarse voice. I don't know how many speeches this is for a child. I'm so tired.

I have always been confused about the education of children. I feel that children have no motivation to learn. Now she has food and clothing, a car and goes there several times a year. The material life we have been pursuing, the children already have it. What does she need to pursue? What is used to motivate her to study? I've been thinking about it, but there is no answer.

Today, after listening to my father's class, I was suddenly enlightened.

Because I was late for a class in Teacher Wen's parents' class, I should have missed the point. I have never understood the teacher's "live for the times, live for love" and "the other way around". After listening to Mr. Ou's class today, I understand.

Live to the times, to love.

Our education has three eras. One is the "living age". When material life is scarce, that is, when we were young, our parents advocated that "the bitter side of eating is the master", "the dutiful son is born under the stick" and "the strict teacher is the master", which we all believed and recognized because we had to leave the farm and live a better life ourselves. The yearning for a better material life allows us to understand our parents' criticism and abuse. Even if we are not angry, parents will be happy and grateful for a little material reward, because that little meat is saved by parents. The second is the "life physiology era". In recent years, when people reach middle age and have an RV, they can eat whatever they want and play whatever they want. In this era, our children are born to primary school. They are the generation whose elders enjoy happiness, but happiness corresponds to poverty. They have never experienced poverty, so everything in this life is taken for granted. We will basically give them whatever they want. If we give them enough material things, they will lose the motivation to strive for material things, but our educational philosophy is still inherited from the previous generation, or we just treat them as children and use eight knives at will, expecting them to be perfect, polite, good at grades and good in health. . . Children themselves have no motivation to pursue material things, and they can't feel the true love of their parents mentally. Children will have problems, and the first performance is learning. At this time, if parents can be a red face and a black face, it's okay, the children still have comfort in their hearts, but most families are basically a black face, a shame, a black face is a mother, and a shame is always a busy father. The third era is now an era of "living self-esteem". In fact, I think the second era and the third era can be integrated. For today's children, external materials can no longer provide them with motivation, and only internal ones can make them upward. As parents, we must attach importance to children's self-esteem and make them confident. This is the best gift we give her, and it is also the source of strength to support her progress, growth and persistence. We need to take care of children's shortcomings. Children's self-esteem is hidden in their shortcomings, which is helpful to them. They appreciate and encourage their children and always appreciate them actively. They use words and actions to give children the motivation to love (kinetic energy hammer kinetic energy stick), let children love themselves, nourish their self-confidence with self-esteem, and let children have the knowledge and ability to get a better life. At this point, I solved the puzzle and practice of children's lack of motivation, thanks to Ou Dad. Instead of being stimulated by external materials, it is better to stimulate children's own motivation with inner care. "Knowledge imparting increases ability and inner cultivation increases self-esteem" protects children's self-esteem and lights up their self-confidence.

the other way around

The so-called "doing the opposite" is to turn the material life (food, clothing and achievements) of loving children into the spiritual life of receiving children, including:

Disadvantages become advantages.

Pain becomes happiness.

Pressure turns into potential.

Resistance in turn changes strength.

Negative to positive.

"Children are not used to change, and shortcomings are not used to solve." If we are still using eight knives (nagging, beating and cursing, comparing, satirizing, complaining, doting and ignoring) to get rid of our children's shortcomings, then we are playing truant to protect our self-esteem. 2, hate parents, form a rebellious mentality, resist parents, deny parents, and refuse to communicate with parents. At this time, parents can't feel material love for their children; 3, hate yourself, leading to serious problems.

Every child's learning ability is no problem. At present, there are problems because of the pain, pressure and resistance from parents. Every child can work miracles. What we need to do is to put down the eight knives for children and help them turn into motivation.

1202

Appreciating children should pay attention to the following three aspects: First, appreciate specific events or describe the process. Second, appreciate children's efforts, dedication and efforts, and don't praise their looks or cleverness. Third, appreciate the inherent good qualities such as politeness, helpfulness, honesty and responsibility, instead of praising beautiful clothes.

It seems simple to use the kinetic energy hammer "stick, good, good" and the kinetic energy stick "point, hug, laugh, listen, drum and jump", but there is huge energy hidden behind it. If you use it frequently, your aura and energy will be greatly improved. Appreciation nourishes our spiritual life like rain and dew, and it can make our spiritual life shine.

1203

I worship my happiness. The third orientation of power level is that worshipping him is a higher energy level than accepting and liking him. The inner feeling of worship is happiness, and the outer expression is madness. I pursue whoever I worship, I like whoever I worship, and I imitate whoever I worship. Children know that they worship stars. It is because these stars have goals and ideals that children yearn for, so who do we worship? We will feel happy because of his words and deeds and regard her as the direction of our efforts. The joy and worship in our hearts. Through the contribution of external ability, he increased his motivation in his heart, thus improving his ability.

It is gratifying that children have objects to worship, whether they worship stars or scientists. First of all, the time she worships is happy. This idol gave her motivation. It's what our parents should do if they don't stop and guide skillfully.

1204

Worship everyone we meet. If you go alone, there must be my teacher. At present, I can basically do it, and I can quickly discover the advantages of others, appreciate and learn. Not worship, will appreciate.

I admire children, too, but it's hard to accept. I think I use too many words, but when I think about it, there are still many children I haven't done. For example, sports skills such as sports, skiing, roller skating and swimming are far behind and enviable; For example, painting, music theory, although this is the result of her years of study, but to see her easily draw a picture, play a song, worship; For example, when she is happy, she will dance and worship ... worship her children, give her confidence, try to be herself, let her worship and grow up together.