In the face of increasingly cruel social competition, many parents feel that it is necessary to educate their children from an early age. To this end, some parents often beat and scold their children when they are very young, thinking that doing so can not only cultivate their excellent quality, but also cultivate their ability to tolerate setbacks. Obviously, these parents misunderstood frustration education. Frustration education is not the education of beating and scolding. After a long-term follow-up survey of children who have been beaten and scolded and children who have grown up happily, it is found that children who have suffered too many setbacks since childhood are more afraid of setbacks when they grow up, and are prone to form a cautious and timid character. And those children who grow up happily are more capable of resisting setbacks when they grow up.
This is mainly related to the amount and intensity of setbacks that children can bear. Children should not suffer too many setbacks when they are young, that is, in infancy, otherwise they will easily form mental illness or personality disorder. After children are three or four years old, parents can give appropriate and slight setbacks, so that children can bear it and get exercise from it. However, at any time, the rough education of beating and cursing can not cultivate children's frustration tolerance. There may be some influence at that time, but it is only a superficial phenomenon, and the consequences of rude education will gradually appear after the children become adults.
In fact, frustration education is a long-term step-by-step process, and corresponding measures should be formulated according to the age of children. Blindly frustrated is not good for children. There is a limit to everything. In frustration education, children should also have some setbacks. Health and happiness are very important for children's growth. Children should not be allowed to be sad all day, which is not good for their growth. The real and reasonable frustration education for children should be based on ensuring their happy growth, so that children can properly face setbacks and exercise their ability to resist setbacks from setbacks. Children who grow up like this are generally more confident, healthier and more positive about problems. They can not only calmly cope with the outside world, but also have the ability to withstand setbacks appropriate to their age. If you beat and scold your child from an early age and make him suffer too much, it will have a great impact on his self-confidence. Although children who grow up like this can bear hardships, they lack the fun of life and tend to go to extremes when looking at problems.
In the education of children, parents should not blindly educate their children about setbacks according to their own ideas. Parents look at things from the perspective of adults. Although they are comprehensive, it is easy to ignore children's feelings. If you beat and scold your child too much, it is easy to arouse your child's rebellious mentality, which is also contrary to your parents' original intention.
Frustration education in countries all over the world
Frustration education is simply a process of experiencing setbacks and difficulties. In the process of experience, we learned how to deal with setbacks and improved our tolerance for setbacks.
There is no doubt that the competition in today's world is fierce. To survive in this highly competitive society requires not only certain knowledge and ability, but also strong will and perseverance. In the process of struggle, no one can guarantee that he is a victorious general, so the ability to resist setbacks is essential.
The practice of educating children to suffer hardships abroad is worth learning and learning from.
1, USA: Understanding the Value of Labor
In some state middle schools in the southern United States, in order to cultivate students' ability to adapt to social survival, it is specially stipulated that students must make a living independently for a week without any money before graduation. The slogan of American middle school students is: "spend money and earn it yourself!" " "No matter how rich the family is, children 12 years old usually have to do housework at home, such as mowing the grass and delivering newspapers. Of course, parents should also pay their children "labor remuneration" accordingly, reflecting the reward according to work. American parents often say that as long as it is conducive to cultivating children's earning ability, it is worthwhile for them to suffer more. Jennifer, 14, works in the restaurant every Saturday. Although she can choose to help her mother at home, she can still get paid. But Jenny thinks it's not a skill to earn mom's money at home. She must go outside to make money to show that she is capable of taking care of herself.
2. Canada: Cultivate the ability to live independently from an early age.
In an ordinary family in Canada, two children in elementary school go to deliver newspapers to their families every morning. Watching the children distribute newspapers with great interest, the father felt very proud: "It is not easy to distribute so many newspapers. I get up early and get greedy, and I send them no matter whether it is windy or rainy, but the children never delay. " Cultivating children's ability to survive independently in the future society from an early age requires long-term persistence and efforts, even if it is such a trivial matter as sending newspapers.
3. Britain: Feel the hard-won money.
Almost one third of children in Britain earn pocket money by doing housework. In the concept of British parents, it is far more important for children to feel the hard-won money than to take it for granted. Most British children can use mobile phones, so parents have to pay about 10 for their children's mobile phones every month. Although there is not much money, if children are required to exchange their own labor for these limited incomes, such as cleaning the room, mowing the grass, washing the car and washing clothes, they must carefully calculate how to use their precious income, so as to learn to control their consumption behavior and learn to strike a balance between giving and getting.
4. Germany: Let children learn what to do as independent individuals. German parents never do anything for their children. They regard children as independent individuals and give them enough space to learn what they should do as independent individuals. Simply put, at the age of one, parents will encourage them to drink milk from their own bottles. After drinking, parents will thank and praise their children. With the growth of children's age and ability, parents will guide their children to accomplish some more difficult things. In this way, when they enter the society, they will not become "waste" in the eyes of others. Not only parents pay attention to cultivating children's sense of responsibility and self-confidence, but also the law requires it. According to German law, when children reach the age of 14, they must undertake some obligations at home, such as shoeshine for the whole family. Germans often say that their primary responsibility is to let their children know that a person will ultimately rely on himself, stand on his own feet and be responsible for himself when he goes to society.
5. France: Quality education is more important.
Every Wednesday afternoon, there are no classes in primary schools and junior high schools in France, which is definitely good news for children. They can play football, basketball or read books in the library. Primary and secondary schools often organize the whole class to attend classes in "Science City" for one to two weeks. Students use the equipment there and the knowledge provided by perennial exhibitions and short-term exhibitions there to complete a project with the double assistance of teachers and staff in the "Science City". French parents respect their children's choices very much. Because in the eyes of French parents, children are independent people, and their interests cannot be forced. Only by letting children learn what they like can they make achievements easily, and professional level is far less important than interest.
6. Russia: Children's family education focuses on cultivating children's sense of independence and ability to overcome difficulties. Walking in the streets and squares of Russia, whether in Moscow, St. Petersburg or Vladivostok, it is rare to see adults holding children or carrying them. On the street and under the steps, we often see some two-year-old or three-year-old dolls stumbling and even crying. But their parents didn't even pull, just stopped to encourage them to get up and move on. The children were playing together, and you chased me, and they were beaten and bleeding, and they cried. When parents see it, they often just look at the wound, gently rub it, and then let them stand up and continue to play, as if wrestling and breaking the skin are trivial. Parents generally don't interfere with what children want to do, and let them do it themselves.
The ability to resist setbacks is very important to each of us. Therefore, it is very helpful for children to deal with various challenges and setbacks in the future by educating them about setbacks from an early age and letting them suffer.
Use physical exercise to reduce frustration.
Locke, a famous British educator, famously said, "A healthy mind resides in a sound body." With the development of society, people's quality is getting higher and higher. But now many people grow up in an ideal social background, with poor psychological quality and weaker ability to resist setbacks. Therefore, it is necessary for us to guide students who have suffered setbacks in time and correctly in the process of physical education, and educate students about setbacks, so that students can have the psychological ability to bear failures and setbacks and develop their body and mind in an all-round way.
(1) Reasons for depression
When there is a gap between ideal and reality, when faced with failure, there will be a kind of mental pressure that "the heartless will not get rid of it, and the lover will not get it" This emotional state is the expression of frustration. The complexity, competitiveness and sociality of sports make setbacks and successes coexist forever in sports activities. In the case of frustration and stimulation, it often leads to abnormal and radical behavior. Therefore, attaching importance to and studying frustration education in sports activities will help to shape a healthy body and perfect personality, help people treat setbacks correctly, and help guide students how to turn negative factors into positive ones after setbacks.
(2) Methods to overcome setbacks
The ultimate goal of studying the performance of frustration in the teaching process is to find a solution to frustration, so as to cultivate students' healthy psychological quality in sports activities.
(1) Create a good atmosphere and reduce unnecessary setbacks.
In physical education teaching and extracurricular sports activities, the factors that make students feel frustrated are complicated. It is necessary to set appropriate teaching and competition goals for students with different sports abilities from reality, so that they can achieve their goals through hard work and reduce the occurrence of setbacks.
(2) Stabilize students' emotions and actively guide the transformation work.
The key to overcoming setbacks lies in correct guidance. In any case, in teaching or sports activities, we must first determine the appropriate goal, which should be achieved by our own continuous efforts. Secondly, we should establish a correct view of setbacks, understand that setbacks exist objectively, guide students to learn to look at problems dialectically, and not just think about happiness and smoothness in sports activities. We should be psychologically prepared for setbacks, improve the predictability of setbacks, enhance the endurance of setbacks, treat setbacks as a rare exercise, and turn ideological, emotional and physical pressures into spiritual motivation.